Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

Hump Day
“So Lucy what day is it?”
“Can’t you tell by my demeanor?”
“Wednesday, right?”
“Right.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week Andrew and Larry discovered two phone calls made from Ned’s cell to Janice. The calls were brief but did prove they contacted each other at the time of Rafferty’s death. Of course, evidence of a conspiracy to commit murder will take more than two brief phone calls. Larry believes the two met and probably out of town. So he and Andrew are going to start with the airlines to see if any bookings have been made. Let’s get back to Larry’s office to check on the status.

 

“Here is your latte. Find anything?”

“Oh, man. There have to be thousands of reservations.”

“You centered on the few days before Rafferty’s murder?”

“I am. The problem is Boston has about 16,000 flights leaving every month. Some domestic and some foreign. So far no hits on Ned or Janice.”

“Could they be using false names?”

“Yeah, of course. That only makes the job tougher.”

“How about phone numbers? Don’t you have to give your phone number when you make a reservation?”

“Most airlines require it.”

“Search by phone number then.”

“This could take a while. The ticket database is huge and slow as hell.”

“Give it a try.”

“Done.”

“What’s it doing?”

“That annoying pinwheel.”

“Well, it is processing. Did you put in a date range as another filter?”

“Yup. We need to be patient.”

“Not your finest virtue.”

“Yeah, I know. Where’d you get this Latte?”

“Around the corner. “

“Sammy’s place?”

“Yes.”

“I should have known. Sammy’s is a sandwich shop, not a coffee house.”

“What? It’s no good.”

“No, it is good.”

“What’s the beef?”

“Just thought you would work harder for the latte is all. Hold on the search is finished.”

“What’s it say?”

“No matches to your search.”

“Crap.”

“We have to think a little bit about this.”

“How about a private plane?”

“Yeah, we can check to see if Ned has one or at least can lease one. I’m thinking about a little lower tech.”

“Lower tech? what do you mean.”

“Like around South Lake Tahoe. Maybe canvass some of the hotels.”

“So you think they went to South Lake Tahoe? You think the chief can help?”

“I’m not sure but trying to find a match in all this data is almost impossible. I think we leave the chief out of this. He has a Barney Fife vibe.”

“So do a search on the private plane front first. Then  if nothing it looks like a road trip.”

“What do you mean? All we have to do is call the hotels.”

“And broadcast to everyone in South Lake Tahoe that we are trying to get information of Ned and Janice.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“I think they had help in this and we ought to keep it on the down low.”

“Man, Andrew you are sounding paranoid.”

“Oh yeah. I have lived this long for a reason. Let me mention one name to you.”

“Okay shoot.”

“Cortez.

”Okay, I get it. Let me do the search then if nothing we’ll get some flights to South Lake Tahoe.”

“Reno.”

“Huh?”

“Gotta fly into Reno.”

“Okay then. Reno.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #216 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #216

“Excuse me.”
“What?”
“Where are you taking those sprouts?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just took a bucket full of my sprouts, and I want to know where you are taking them.”
“What makes you think these are your sprouts?”
“Everything here is mine.”
“I’m here, and I’m not yours.”
“How do you know?”
“The farmer tells me so.”
“Jeez, a poet. Tell me Mr. Farmer’s pet. Where are you going with those sprouts?”
“Not that it’s any of your business but I have a trough full of slop, and I thought these sprouts would add an element of crunch to a fairly bland offering.”
“You can’t eat those.”
“Why not. They look delicious.”
“They are to be planted for this year’s crop harvest.”
“Oh, come on. There is a lot left. Duh.”
“I suppose once you have totally fattened the price for you will offset any loss on the number of crops.”
“Huh. What do you mean fattened?”
“You know what happens to pigs on a farm, don’t you?”
“I still don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Ever hear of spiral sliced ham?”
“No.”
“Bacon?”
“Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“Pork shoulder? Pork belly?”
“Wait the term pork rings a bell. When we came here the farmer remarked about a fine-looking group of porkers.”
“Did he mention you will end up in packages.”
“No, tell me.”
“You are food. Once you are big enough, you go to a place and come out in pieces.”
“Say it isn’t true.”
“Can’t do that.”
“Well, there is only one thing to do.”
“What’s that?”
“Here take these sprouts back. I’m going to spread the word that we all go on a hunger strike.”
“Thanks for the sprouts. Good luck on the protest.”
“Want to join us?”
“Not really. I’m pretty partial to sausage.”
“What’s that?”
“Oh, never mind. Not important. Good luck.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on National No Diet Day

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

Today is National No Diet Day attempting to bring to light the unnecessary obsession with weight and diets.  I thought it would be fun to explore what not to do today. I hope you enjoy the list and recognize the need of accepting who we are no matter our shape.

Top Ten Things Not to Do on National No Diet Day

10 On No Diet Day, do not order a monster burger with cheese, cheese fries, and a triple thick shake at a fast food joint. If you do at best, you’ll have help eating it all. At worst, your midnight wake up call will be disturbing. (That noise you keep hearing is your stomach, Hagley. It’s trying to figure a way to handle the over 3,000 calories that you decided to ingest.)

9 On No Diet Day, do not invite Tiny the WWF champ out for a bite to eat. If you do, at best he will have eaten at least twice today. At worst, he decided to diet on No Diet Day and is pleased that you informed him of the need to honor the designation. (Don’t worry about the bill, Hali. You can get a second job to cover it. I would not be asking Tiny to slow down his ordering if I was you. After all, you invited him and you don’t need a knuckle sandwich on the menu.)

8 On No Diet Day, do not invite your vegan co-workers to join you at the Happy Corral for the “all you can eat steak tummy buster buffet.”   If you do, at best you’ll get polite declines. At worst, your co-workers will ask HR to sign you up for sensitivity sessions. (I guess you found out that the vegan path is one of sincerity huh Halbert? By the way, today’s class is on trust. Your classmates are supposed to catch you as you fall backward off a ten-foot ladder. You may want to call in sick.)

7 On No Diet Day, do not announce you are going on a diet. If you do, at best you will be ignored. At worst, you will be presented with the Buzz Kill of the year award. (You could have just kept quiet, Halen. Now your boss is calling attention to your lack of judgment as you are being called up to the podium to accept the award.)

6 On No Diet Day, do not keep looking at yourself in the mirror. If you do, at best you will keep finding things you don’t like. At worst, you’ll start to obsess about what you perceive as physical problem areas and start thinking of a diet. (Better you should worry about getting to work on time rather than how your body looks, Halian.

5 On No Diet Day, do not crack jokes about others appearances. If you do, at best you won’t be overheard. At worst, your boss will be standing behind you when you mention their weight gain. (Now you will have to figure out how to get back in good graces, Halstead. You might consider an on the knees apology. It may not work but will demonstrate a sincere desire to save your own butt.)

4 On No Diet Day, do not decide to try every one of the twenty ice cream flavors at the local store. If you do, at best your sense of taste will be frozen out. At worst, your enthusiasm for the day will have been misplaced. (Notwithstanding that you now can’t stand ice cream in any flavor, Ham the idea was acceptance of body shape not to expand it.)

3 On No Diet Day, do not continue to avoid getting into a swimsuit to have some fun. If you do, at best you’ll miss out as usual. At worst, you will continue to view yourself negatively. (Sure you have some bumps, Hamidi, but look around. Others do as well. I think though, one improvement might be a nice pair of trunks rather than that red speedo)

2 On No Diet Day, do not think about yourself for 24 hours. If you do, at best you missed the point. At worst, you’ll be back worrying about how you look again. ( You spend way to much time on the subject of you, Hamlet. How about spending a little time worrying about some of the other 7.7 Billion on the planet.)

1 On Diet Day, do not forget that the point is to eat healthily rather than trying to regulate your body with often dangerous diet measures. If you do, at best you could continue to lack self-satisfaction. At worst, you could jeopardize your health. (So you think you are overweight, Hampus. Why not try a more balanced approach with good food, exercise, and a fuggedaboudit attitude. At least for one day at a time.)

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Fall From the Sky.”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “fall from the sky.” Yup this is it. To quote Linda Hill, “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fall from the sky.” Write about anything that falls from the sky–real, imagined, or idiomatic. Have fun!” Humm I have to think about this prompt for a minute. Want to rid my mind of Chicken Little who thought the whole sky was coming down. I don’t think that’s what Linda had in mind. If you would like to deal with this kind of quandary, visit Linda’s blog and read how simple it is to fall off the end of the Earth. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 4/19

Fall From the Sky by John W. Howell © 2018

“You look confused.”

“I’m up in the air about my travel plans.”

“What are you talking about? You’ve been planning a trip to Paris for years.”

“I know. It’s not the destination that bothers me.”

“The timing then?”

“No. Spring in Paris is perfect.”

“Where to stay?”

“All set. I have reservations.”

“I give up. Can’t imagine what you are doubtful about.”

“The flight.”

“Yeah, that nine-hour stint can be boring.”

“It’s not the time in the air that has me wondering.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t really understand what keeps a heavy 767 300 up in the air.”

“Oh. Piece of cake. It’s lift.”

“Lift?”

“Yes, the difference in air pressure rushing across the top curve of the wing from the bottom. It’s all physics.”

“I don’t get that. I just imagine the thing falling from the sky.”

“Now why would you think that?”

“Look how big and heavy those things are.”

“Here let me make an airplane out of this paper. When I throw it the forward momentum causes the air to be displaced above the wing. Since nature abhors a vacuum the lower part of the plane rises to fill in. See it flies.”

“Yeah but that is a paper airplane. It’s light.”

“What do you think would happen if I put this paper clip on the airplane?”

“I have no idea.”

“See the plane falls from the sky so to speak.”

“Making my point exactly.”

“But what if I make the wings bigger.”

“So there is more area being displaced?”

“Yup. There you have it. The plane flies”

“So it’s the wings that keep it up in the air.”

“That’s why your Boeing 767 300 has such big wings. It is all calculated as to how much wing it takes to lift that mother.”

“So as long as the wings are there all is good.”

“You got it.”

“What if they fall off.”

“Then the whole thing falls from the sky.”

“Back to my point.”

“How about I take the trip for you?”

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Lucy
“Hey, Lucy. Is it Friday yet?”
“Hurrumpf. Wednesday.”
“Well. at least it’s not Monday.”
“Thank heavens for small favors.”

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we got a line on a brand-new suspect in the murder of Rafferty. No, it is not a lawyer. It is a banker. Although most of us would like to know who killed Sandusky, it is good to hear we may get to the bottom of the Rafferty incident. As a side note, Craig Boyack mentioned last week that this series had no title. I did ask him if he had an idea and being the talented author that he is he proffered, “Professor Rafferty and the Mysterious Heart Evaporating Whatchamacallit.” I thought his offering to be perfect with one change. Instead of Rafferty, the dead guy we would substitute Andrew the live former ME in the title. Craig agreed, and so we have, “Professor Andrew and the Mysterious Heart Evaporating Whatchamacallit.” Let’s get back to Larry’s office since he was going to check the phone records of Mrs. Rafferty and Ned Dixon to see if they had contact with each other.

 

“So the phone company said it would be a couple of days until we get the records.”

“That’s crap. Larry. We should have access to them online.”

“Yeah, I had to Bogart my way into the supervisor level. I pulled the obstruction of justice card.”

“Good one. Did it work?”

“Yessir. We have the online access codes, but I had to electronically sign that the scope of the investigation only covered Janice and Ned.”

“Seems fair. Nothing like pushing your nose into where it doesn’t belong.”

“If we were the Feds that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Well we are not, and in today’s climate I’m grateful for that.”

“Do I detect some political leanings, Andrew?”

“No. Just can’t stand the baseness of the level of social dialog that is represented by Washington is all.”

“Okay. Here we are. I have Janice’s call records for the last six months. Let me do a search with Ned’s phone number to see if there are any matches.”

“That is a slick program.”

“What? I just took Janice’s cell records and exported them to Excel and am now doing a search.”

“Clever guy you are Larry.”

“Shit. Er, excuse me. There are no matches.”

“That is damn typical. Could we have an easy time with anything? Hell no.”

“Let me go the other way with Ned’s records.”

“Worth a try. What number are you using for Ned?”

“His office number.”

“Come on Larry no one in their right mind would call from the office. We need his cell number.”

“I have that right here.”

“Go back to Janice’s records and search incoming by Ned’s cell number.”

“Gotcha, Andrew. You are like a professor you know that?”

“Anything?”

“Well lookie here. Two hits.”

“Let me see. Humm the first the night before Rafferty hit the tree.”

“The second two days after. Look at this Andrew. The calls were less than thirty seconds both times.”

“Looks like not much talk. Maybe just confirming events.”

“Let’s do a run on Ned’s number and see if Janice made any more calls to him.”

“Could be interesting.”

“Well, there are no matches.”

“Just tells me that maybe they had a meeting or two and didn’t do much on the phone. We do know they made contact with each other by these calls and that is one thing. We are going to need some advanced sleuthing to determine if they met.”

“Don’t you think they will meet again?”

“I’ll bet they will wait until things cool down.”

“Just a hunch but don’t you think they would do any meeting out-of-town?”

“Good point. Gives us an opportunity to check airline reservations.”

“Man, this will be like finding a leopard in a Jason Pollock painting.”

“You amaze me, Larry. The fact you even know what a Jason Pollock is blows me away.”

“I lived with Gloria. She taught me a lot.”

“You search. I’ll get us some coffee.”

“Make mine a Latte.”

“Ha ha ha. You got it.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #215 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo(below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The Photo.

Kreative Kue #215

The Target by John W. Howell © 2019

“Be real quiet. We are almost there.”

“To the target?”

“Yup. It is just beyond the tree line.”

“How do you know?”

“My GPS has it pinpointed.”

“Man, this brush is so thick I can’t see a thing.”

“I know. We will need to cut through it. We risk making a lot of noise.”

“I don’t know why we didn’t just take the road.”

“And be spotted? That would have been the end of us and our mission.”

“You sure the boss said to take it right?”

“Yeah. The order was to take it not to just look at it.”

“Alright. Don’t get testy. I was just asking.”

“You know our group is counting on us right?”

“I do. Death before failure.”

“You got it. Now if my eyes don’t deceive me, there is a trail over here. Most likely made by deer.”

“Should we follow it?”

“That’s what I’m thinking. So much quieter. Follow me.”

“Oh, this is nice. Look there it is.”

“Man. Look at the size of that silo.”

“What if we take on fire.”

“You know the orders. Avoid engagement unless provoked.”

“Roger that. I’m ready.”

“Okay on my count we will rush the silo and take it.”

“Wait, a question.”

“What?”

“There must be 100 metric tons of grain in there.”

“Yeah so?”

“Don’t you think that is a lot for us two mice to carry home?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “XP”

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this weeks prompt is “xp.” Here are Linda’s words to explain. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “xp.” Use it as a word, or find a word with “xp” in it. As always, use any way you’d like. Enjoy!” If you would like a challenge like this, please visit Linda’s blog and read how easy it is to give your mind away. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 27/19

XP by John W. Howell © 2019

“Whoa, that is some car.”

“Yeah, it’s my new roadster.”

“Wow. That color red almost hurts the eyes.”

“I’ve always wanted a red roadster.”

“What is the name of this thing anyway?”

“It’s a Double Double Diamond XP.”

“Sounds like a ranch.”

“Mitsubishi means three diamonds in Japanese. This was built-in Korea.”

“One more diamond?”

“I think they are competing with the Japanese.”

“Well, it sure looks swell. Is it expensive?”

“You just had to slip that xp word in there huh?”

“Well you know, I am doing a prompt.”

“No, it is not expensive. That is a pretty forward question too.”

“You know how the prompt game goes. You take em as you find em.”

“Yeah, I just didn’t expect the question.”

“So this is an inexpensive export?”

“You could explain it that way I guess. Now you have me doing it.”

“That’s to be expected. Linda Hill does that to people.”

“I want to express myself with my own words.”

“You are the expert on your own words. Go right ahead.”

“I want to expound my way.”

“You have enough exploits to carry on.”

“I feel the need to call Words Express to get rid of these xp words.”

“Won’t do any good to expel xp.”

“How about I expose the whole Stream of Conscious Saturday thingy as a plot.”

“What kind of plot? To make you an expat?”

“No. To drive the taxpayer nuts.”

“Taxpayer? How did that come into play?”

“Was the only xp word I could think of.”

“I think you are cured.”

“No more xp exploits? …….Damn.”

“Yeah damn.”

 

 

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – Cabin Fever

Today was a rainy day here in Lakeway. It started in the morning and lasted all day. Poor Lucy and Twiggy were pretty much housebound the whole day. They did their best to remain entertained.

“Twiggy, what are you doing?”

“Playing.”

“What are you playing?”

“I have my gotcha cake and am playing birthday.”

“Check outside for me. Is it still raining?”

“Yes. Lucy. It is still raining.”

“Darn. That means you and I have to find something to do in here.”

“Well, it’s not so bad. We could play tag.”

“We just played tag. Check on the rain again.”

“Still coming down, Lucy.”

“Okay then come here. I’ve got your gotcha cake.”

“Hey. That’s mine. What are you going to do with it?”

“Humm. Maybe I’ll eat it.”

“How about I put it on your back?”

“That’s okay by me. Or you could toss it.”

“Nice toss, Lucy.”

“You toss it back.”

“No, I think I’ll just walk it over.”

“Pretty lazy. Little one.”

“This is hard work, Lucy.”

“Please. You haven’t done a thing all day.”

“I know we can check out the new rug.”

“Hey, Mom. Pretty nice.”

“I don’t know little one. This texture is different.”

“Won’t show footprints, Lucy.”

“Good point, Little Potato.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

It’s Wednesday Story Day again, and last we were given a hint by Gloria that more or less confused me. I don’t know about you, but I wish she would just spit out who killed Rafferty. Well too bad for me she just didn’t. Instead, she came up with some kind of insect parable that further confounded the issue. Let’s join Larry and Andrew as they try to figure out what Gloria said.

 

“So, she basically told us none of our suspects killed Rafferty.”

“I don’t know, Andrew but sometimes you amaze me with your observations.”

“What I’m just trying to help.”

“Give me some help on the insect thing.”

“She was not talking about an insect. She was saying the person we are looking for is someone we would not suspect due to his or her lack of involvement in the case.”

“Ah. So my interpretation regarding someone little as having no power is really someone not involved in the case.”

“Rafferty case. Not necessarily in the Sandusky case.”

“So it could be someone who Knew Sandusky but seemingly not involved with Rafferty.”

“Bingo.”

“If I think of everyone involved one way or another in the Sandusky and Rafferty case there is only one name that jumps out as having no involvement with Rafferty.”

“Who is that?”

“Ned Dixon, the bank manager.”

“Ned Dixon? How could he be involved?”

“Think about it. Had Louis been able to prove the machine in that is to say Rafferty signed the paper saying it was good to go.”

“Yes?”

“There would be no bankrupt company.”

“How’s that help Dixon?”

“Remember when Dixon told us he authorized the payments on the loan to stop.”

“Yeah, that was six months ago.”

“He said Louis was working for Cortez but never collected on the development funds for which Louis had a signed contract.”

“So what would have happened if the contract was honored?”

“I guess the company would prosper.”

“Right, and where would that leave Dixon?”

“He would not be able to sell the company.”

“And not pocket the loan payback amount.”

“Wait. Dixon is a trustee along with the bank.”

“You believe that? I think he is skimming money off of Sandusky’s trust. He told us it was worth fifteen million. How easy would it be to take some for himself? If the company was going strong, there would be no sale and no opportunity to skim.”

“Still seems like a risk for a banker. He doesn’t seem like the skimming type.”

“Well, we need to make the connection to Rafferty.”

“That’s a no brainer if what you are thinking is true.”

“Talk to me.”

“He wanted Rafferty to falsify the engineering study to say the machine wasn’t working.”

“I thought Cortez did that.”

“So says Mrs. Rafferty.”

“Humm. She did say her husband said, Cortez. Why would she lie.”

“To cover for someone else.”

“Like Dixon?”

“OMG. I see where you are going. I wonder if they ever talked or knew each other.”

“We need the phone records of Dixon and Janice Rafferty.”

“Damn.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #214 with Keith Channing

In Keith’s words. (Welcome back Keith)

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next Monday.”

The photo.

Kreative Kue #214

Clear by John W. Howell © 2019

“Where are we?”

“Somewhere south of Tulsa.”

“Damn. When is this fog going to clear?”

“Yeah, I wish I knew. My eyes are killing me from the strain of trying to look through it.”

“Is that car stopped up there?”

“No, he is moving. Just slowly.”

“I guess we should do the same.”

“You backseat driving?”

“I’m right here in the passenger’s seat. Front seat driving.”

“Okay, so I’ll slow down. No use running up his bumper.”

“Lucky we have those lines.”

“At least I can keep it in the center.”

“What is that guy doing now?”

“Pulling over it seems.”

“Just go on by.”

“What if he needs help? We are in the middle of nowhere.”

“Always the good Samaritan are we?”

“What if it was you there all alone. Wouldn’t you want someone to stop to help?”

“Okay then, pull over. I just hope it’s not a mistake.”

“Here we go. I’ll just stop behind him.”

“You get out. I’ll stay in the car.”

“Okay. Be right back.”

“I sure hope he knows what he is doing. Oh, here he comes.”

“Well, they are okay.”

“So, what are they doing stopping?”

“Just changing drivers.”

“Oh, well, that seems logical.”

“I’m putting on my signal and pulling out.”

“You sure they are okay. I didn’t see anyone in the car as we passed.”

“They are not very big.”

“What do you mean not very big?”

“When they are changing spots you can’t see them.”

“Okay, now I’m confused.”

“Let’s forget it okay?”

“What is the matter with you. Who was driving that car?”

“A dog. Well not driving just steering.”

“What?”

“The cat was operating the pedals.”

“Quit joking.”

“I’m not.”

“We should call the police.”

“Why?”

“A dog and cat driving a car is dangerous.”

“I thought they did a good job.”

“You going to call or should I?”

“No need I’m telling you.”

“Okay convince me. Why is there no need?”

“The guy in the backseat said he had everything under control.”

“Not from the backseat would he have everything under control.”

“Well, he can’t do the driving.”

“Why not?”

“He’s had too much to drink.”

“That’s it. I’m calling.”

 

.