This post was originally run on August 15, 2014. I think it remains relevant today. Also, I’m at Story Empire today discussing Lewin’s Change Process if you care to pop over there too. Here’s the link.
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Here is the 60th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration for this came from sitting in several doctor’s offices this week.
Top Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Doctor
10. If you visit a doctor, do not listen to your tunes with earphones while in the waiting room. If you do, at best, you will miss your name and have a few more hours wait. At worst, you will start humming one of your favorites and will be asked to wait in the hallway until your name is called.
9. If you are visiting a doctor, do not smile at the old lady sitting across from you even though she is smiling at you. If you do, at best, she will think you nuts since her smile will turn out to be gas. At worst, she will think you are being fresh and give you a nice whack with her cane.
8. If you are visiting a doctor, remember to turn off your cellphone. If you don’t, at best, you will get some annoying notifications. At worst, you will get a call from another doctor’s office wanting to discuss your last test results.
7. If you are visiting a doctor, do not touch anything in the office waiting room. If you do, at best, you will only catch a cold. At worst, you will be in line for the next case of Rona since the last case finished with the magazine you are reading now.
6. If you are visiting a doctor, do not attempt any doctor humor. If you do, at best, you will bomb like Henny Youngman at an NRA convention. At worst, you will keep wondering about not being able to feel your leg after the shot from the humorless one in charge.
5. If you are visiting a doctor, do not try to get in without paying your co-payment amount. If you do, at best, you will be called back to the front to the amusement of all the patients. At worst, you will meet the biggest medical technician who will hold you upside down until you pay up.
4. If you are visiting a doctor, do not go through any of the cabinets in the examination room. If you do, at best, you will see some unusual instruments that will make you want to leave immediately. At worst, the doctor will walk in just as you come across the samples of products designed to prevent sexually transmitted disease
3. If you are visiting a doctor, do not ask questions about the degrees posted on the walls. If you do, at best, you will find they don’t belong to your doctor. At worst, you will find out your doctor went to a rival school to yours and one known for its status as a party university.
2. If you are visiting a doctor, do not ask for samples of drugs. If you do, at best, you will be given a lecture about the evils of addiction. At worst, you will be escorted to the interrogation room of the local DEA office, where there will be difficult questions about what you know and when you knew it.
1. If you are visiting a doctor, do not forget to bring your medication list. If you forget, at best, your doctor will prescribe something similar to what you already take. At worst, your doctor will prescribe drugs that have contraindications to what you take, and you will be found tomorrow wandering naked in the middle of the street babbling something about the giant pink elephant.
