Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Sunday

~ John W. Howell

This post originally ran on August 3rd, 2015. I think there is still some good advice in here.

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The inspiration for this list came from spending over 3800 Sundays so far and not making the best decisions always on how to spend the day. Now that this is Monday, maybe there is enough time to plan for next week. Hope you enjoy it.

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Sunday.

10 On a Sunday, do not clean out the garage. If you do, at best, you will only rearrange the junk since trash day is at the end of the week. At worst, you will find several long-lost repair projects that you totally forgot to finish. (Hiding them again may not be practicable)

9 On a Sunday, do not use a leaf blower. If you do, at best, your neighbors will call upon the Almighty to forgive you. At worst, the person next door who you thought was a minister turns out to be a coven leader and has drawn a funny symbol on your front lawn. (You begin to notice the hair on the back of your hands getting thicker)

8 On a Sunday, do not pack up the family for a drive in the country. If you do, at best, you will be carting several sullen children with you. At worst, you will be sitting in traffic for hours. (And you have yet to enter the freeway.)

7 On a Sunday, do not go to the grocery store. If you do, at best you’ll be wondering why all these people can’t shop during the week while you are working. At worst, you will comment to someone named Brutus, who just happens to be unemployed and decides you need a lesson in manners. (You notice his fist is the size of your head just as the lights go out.)

6 On a Sunday, do not think you can go to the park for a picnic at the last minute. If you do, at best you will enjoy your lunch in the car. At worst, you will try to sneak a spot next to the Smith Family Reunion sign only to discover the Smiths have their own Hell’s Angles chapter. (And your Ralph Lauren cap is now part of a keep-away game.)

5 On a Sunday, do not think you can check out with a six-pack of beer before the lawful time. If you do, at best, you will win a bunch of friends as the line comes to a halt waiting for the manager to void the sale. At worst, the loudspeaker announcement of “Alcohol violation on register seven” will have the entire store in stitches, knowing by looking at you that you aren’t trying to pass a fake ID. (But are just plain dumb)

4 On a Sunday, do not go any distance without checking to see if your destination is open. If you do, at best, you will have given the family a ride in the country. At worst, you will have a full mutiny on your hands that will take some ice cream volleys to quell. (Not to mention the loss of leadership respect.)

3 On a Sunday, do not attempt to take a nap before you check with everyone to see if they need anything. If you do, at best, everyone will need something. At worst, they will need something, and you are the only person who knows the location of the something. ( The request will come in one at a time.)

2 On a Sunday, do not invite the whole family to your house for pot luck dinner. If you do, at best, a few will pass, and there will be enough to go around. At worst, all will attend, and most will have forgotten to bring anything other than an enormous appetite. (Not to mention a 102-degree temperature and runny noses.)

1 On a Sunday, do not try an experimental recipe that you found in the Sunday supplement. If you do, at best, you will be substituting some ingredients that you did not have on hand to mixed results. At worst, the mixed results were manifest in several of your household members rushing quickly from the table. (With the sound of large quantities of running water covering several noises)

84 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Sunday”

  2. Good morning, dear John,
    we like your top ten things not to do. They tell us a lot about the US and, of course, they are funny.
    Thanks for sharing
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sundays certainly have changed. Your list reminds me of that time when Sundays were pure delight. After all, no stores were open (except for the occasional gas station) and a ride in the country (either to go to Grandma’s or to look at the corn) was pure pleasure — mostly because it always ended with ice cream!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember when a Sunday was the time to relax and pretty much enjoy living. We are trying to create that feeling with visits to daughter’s house and her visits to ours. So far so good. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I can attest to the truth of #7, John. It’s always crowded on Sunday, either in the mornings around church-time or the afternoons (when people seem to have nothing “better” to do and want to hang around in the air conditioning). Great list!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Hah! OUR garbage day is Monday so Sunday is perfect 😉
    As for using my guests as guinea pigs for a meal… they always are 😉
    The rest is very sound advice for sure 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  21. As always, John, excellent advice, especially the one about grocery shopping on a Sunday. My gosh, I thought I’d beat the crowd by going a little earlier than usual yesterday. It was a mob scene, especially at the deli – they were slicing all the wrong things, too! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  22. In reference to #9: In the early days of the automobile, because it was so new, some people used it only for special occasions (plus there were no paved roads at the time). During the week, they would get about on the family horse, hence, these same people (the father of the family, of course) would load up the wives and kids once a week on Sundays and take them for a drive “in the country.” Hence (again) the term “Sunday Driver.” These people were not very adept at driving the new-fangled machine.
    In reference to #5: This one is out of date. I’ve tried to buy beer in a grocery store two minutes before noon on a Sunday. The damn scanner would not accept it. Two minutes later, everything was kosher. Then I took my family out for a Sunday drive.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Thank you for the historical perspective. I recognize the out of datedness of number five but not much funny about waiting for the two-minute clearance on a self-serve scan. Well, maybe there is something funny in the folks behind not willing to wait. Thanks, again, Andrew.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. As for Number 9, I’m getting rid of my leaf blower . . just in case. Coven? No thank you. And as for Number 2, you had me at “Do not invite the whole family,”.

    Liked by 2 people

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