Tuesday Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #106

January 17, 2017January 16, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 51 Comments

Kreative Kue with Keith Channing is back. Here is Keith’s explanation of what is going on. “Using this photo (Below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here is the photo.

Kreative Kue #106

“So how far is your place?”

“It is just over that next rise.”

“It seems like we have been walking for hours.”

“Yeah. Sorry about the car. I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but it just quits like that sometimes.”

“No real harm. it’s a beautiful day, and I can always use the exercise.”

“You are a great sport. You know that?”

“Well, it isn’t like you caused the car to stop.”

“No. It does make me believe I should think about buying another, though.”

“It is such a beautiful car. What year is it?”

“A classic 1932 Rolls.”

“Oh, I know the brand. I just love the older styles.”

“Except when they stop dead in the road.”

“Well, I’m sure your mechanic can fix it.”

“How did you know I had a mechanic.”

“Oh, my. Now I’m embarrassed.”

“Tell me why?”

“Well, when you asked me out I did a little checking, and I assume you have a mechanic.”

Ah ha. And what did you find in this checking?”

“That you are a descendant of the royal family and are an Earl.”

“Oh dear. I hope you won’t hold that against me.”

“On the contrary, I think it is quite attractive.”

“Anything else?”

“You live in a castle that was built in the fourteenth century, and you have acres and acres of land.”

“I must say it is all true. How does that make you feel.”

“As if you are a handsome prince and I am Snow White.”

“Ha ha ha. I like that. Well, here we are. You can see our place in two more steps.”

“Uh. That pile of rocks is your place?”

“Why yes. Yes, it is.”

“You live there?”

“Most of the time except when it gets cold. There is no heat.”

“Where do you go when there is no heat?”

“The YMCA mostly. Sometimes I stay in my car. Want to take a closer look?”

“How far is it to town again?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Wine Tasting

January 16, 2017January 15, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

Wine Tasting

The inspiration for this list is attendance at some wine tasting events in my time. My wife worked as a marketing person for a winery in Northern California and was required to taste wine every week. Of course, she was a professional and would take delight in witnessing some of the events listed. Since I was well schooled by her, I never made these faux pas. (I would have died on the spot if I had.) I hope you enjoy it.

10 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not insist on special glasses to claim to have a full tasting experience. If you do, at best the rest of the gathering will take you for an idiot. At worst, the host will produce special glasses, and then you will be on the spot to render an erudite opinion. (Up to tonight your experience has been Boon’s Farm Apple Red right, Buford?)

9 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not throw back the wine as if it is a shot of tequila. If you do, at best your drink preference and sophistication will show through. At worst, you will find yourself all alone as the discussion turns to the merits of the wine. (No one cares what you think about wine and probably think your chewing tobacco will get in the way of an honest opinion anyway, Tex.)

8 If you are attending a wine tasting, don’t forget the crackers are to cleanse the palette, not a meal. If you do, at best the host will move them away from you. At worst, you might be subtly offered a place in the kitchen where the host promises a bucket of fried chicken and a six-pack of Keystone Light. (You think that offer might be not so bad until you see the look on your spouse’s face huh, Bunky?)

7 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not start describing the various flavors of the wine unless you know what you are talking about. If you do, at best you will get polite nods at your incredible ignorance. At worst someone will ask the host to send you to the store for more crackers. (You will find out coal oil is not a legitimate taste on the flavor wheel, Buster.)

6 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not try to sneak Two- Buck Chuck in a brown bag into the line-up.If you do, at best the host security system video will show your placement of the bottle. At worst, one of the wine snobs will involuntarily spew the wine on Tiny the WWF champ.(Right now Tiny is going from guest to guest demanding to know who brought the wine. You have always been a bad liar, and your turn is next right, Weenie?)

5 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not forget you are not supposed to swallow the wine. If you do, at best you will need a ride home. At worst, you will decide to inform all the guests just what you think of each personally identifying what you consider a flaw in their personality needing correction. (The next morning is going to be a beauty especially when you learn what you called your boss.)

4 If you are attending a wine tasting, it is best not to wear a white shirt. If you forget, at best you are very careful and escape embarrassment. At worst, someone asks a question and surprises you just as you raise the glass to your lips. (Maybe that shirt will make a nice car wax rag or a tie-dye coverup.)

3 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not over swirl your wine. If you do at best, your glass will be big enough to keep the wine under control. At worst, your red wine swirl will go outside the glass, and land on the white linen couch which the host just explained was made to order and arrived this afternoon. (Make no mistake you are now the proud owner of a stained couch, Cowboy.)

2 If you are attending a wine tasting, do not ask for ice for your wine. If you do, at best your host will take your wine. At worst your host will ask you to go to the convenience store to pick up a twenty-pound bag. (It is hoped that the tasting is over before you can return, Slick.)

1 If you are attending a wine tasting, try not to argue with experts about the quality of a particular wine. If you do, at best even if you are right you will look particularly brutish. At worst, one of the experts just got his graduation certificate from the anger management course mandated by the courts after being arrested for assaulting a wine steward at a restaurant for disagreeing with him on wine quality. (Looks like a knuckle sandwich is on the menu, Pal.)

Views of the Neighborhood

January 15, 2017January 14, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

This week I thought it would be interesting to give you an idea of the kinds of houses we have in Port Aransas. I ran out yesterday and took some shots of the various architecture types that one would find here.

The first was taken in what is referred to as “old town,” which is the original settlement.

Port A Houses

As you can see plenty of wires. House up off the ground. Pretty typical. You will also find some unique houses. Here is one.

P.A. Houses

You can also see some houses that have shack-like quality

P.A. Houses

Notice the boat is bigger than the house. This next one is very unusual. I swear I could hear a wolf call when I stepped out of the car. P.A.Houses

Moving away from old town but still near the water, the houses take on a distinct “stilt” flavor. This was the type of construction recognizing the effects of hurricane sea surge. The idea is to let the water run under the house.

P.A. Houses

Notice the Santa still there. The next is an example of the style of home built away from the water and in more like a subdivision.

P.A. Homes

This one could be in any city in America. The next is a home right on the beach. This one was built in the seventies, and very few homes are being constructed on the beach anymore.

P.A.Houses

The newer homes in Port Aransas take on a more palatial tone. P.A Houses

Yes, this is one house. The new architecture is more creative and reflects the southern tropical tradition. Here is a shot of a street in a new development.

P.A. Houses

Here is an older development but you can see the same influence

P.A.Houses

I hope you enjoyed the little tour. Last week I ran a poll to see which of five photos should be placed in the header. The winner with over 44% of the vote is candidate number three, the thunderstorm in the Gulf. It is now the header till spring. Here it is again

Header Picture

Thank you all for voting.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “P”

January 14, 2017January 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

Partaking in more of the good stuff it is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is the letter “p.” Here is what the dungeon master Linda Hill has ordered. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January is: A word that starts with “P.” Find a word that begins with the letter “p,” and make it the theme of your post. Bonus points for starting and ending your post with a “p” word. Enjoy!”

There you have it, and now you have the reason I started this post with the word “partaking.” If you would like to jump in and do this as well, go to Linda’s post right here and read about it.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS and #JusJoJan Jan. 14/17

“Percy.”

“Pray What?”

“Please, I need you to come into the bathroom.”

“Perfect. I’m here. Okay dear, what is it?”

“Plumbing.”

“Plumbing?”

“Plumbing is making noise. You hear that?”

“Pings? Yes, I do.”

“Persistent aren’t they? Are they getting worse?”

“Possibly. We will have to do some tests.”

“Playful tests or something serious?”

“Pressure tests.”

“Puzzler. What is entailed?”

“Put a strain on the pipes and see if there is an object in there.”

“Perhaps the pipes will break.”

“Pitiful outcome, but at least we will get rid of the noise.”

“Prickly way to a solution.”

“Pricey risk if there is a break. Water everywhere.”

“Percy?”

“Penelope?”

“Perchance it would be more advantageous to ignore the problem.”

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

January 13, 2017January 13, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

Funny Friday

Happy Friday the thirteenth. Well, here we are, almost finished with the first full week in a while. Seemed like a long one for sure. I hope you can make it the last eight hours or so. The weekend is right around the corner. One of my friends refers to Friday as Saturday Eve. I suppose that is a good way to look at it.

This week had its events. I received My GRL back from the editor with the final proof. I will be spending a little while doing the formats and then reporting to the cover artist the number of pages, the price, and providing the back cover endorsement. My publisher wants me to remind them when I’m going to launch the new edition of My GRL. I still plan on March 1st. I guess I will send them a note when I get closer.

I will be pricing My GRL at $2.99 for Kindle and $14.95 for the paper edition. That will be $3.00 off the current price off the Kindle and $2.00 off the paper.

I also kicked off a price discount for Our Justice. Today EReader News Today is featuring Our Justice at $0.99. You can go there or to Amazon. Today’s John Ku talks about writing and promotion. I hope you like it.

Scribble long hours,

Craft the best book you can do. . .

Sell it like tooth paste.

Thursday – A little Personal Our Justice Kindle Edition on Sale Jan 12 to Jan 19th

January 12, 2017January 10, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 19 Comments

Our Justice

Our justice is available from January 12th to January 19th on Amazon.

Here is the link for the $0.99 US

Here is the link for the £0.99 UK

The blurb

The terrorist leader and financier Matt Jacobs figured out a plan to eliminate the President. He is relying on John Cannon’s stature as a hero to help him carry it off. John finds himself walking the fine line of pretending to help Matt while trying to figure out a countermeasure to the plan.

The third book in the John J. Cannon Trilogy brings together two strong wills for a showdown. The question to be answered is who will feel the satisfaction that the achievement of justice delivers? John, Matt or neither?

The trailer https://youtu.be/1lrO7JYZy4M

Tuesday Anything Possible – $0.99 Sale on Our Justice from Jan 12 to Jan 19th #RRBC

January 10, 2017January 9, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

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Advance notice:

I will be running a Kindle $0.99 US and a £0.99 UK sale on Our Justice from January 12th (Thursday) until January 19th (Thursday). I will also be featured on EReader News Today on Friday the 13th. (Hmmm)

This will be the first sale of Our Justice, and I have extended it to accommodate a promotion on BookGoodies as well. So here is hoping all who want to get the book will do so in this period.

I will run another announcement on Thursday.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Beach in Freezing Weather

January 9, 2017January 8, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 54 Comments

Cold temps

The inspiration for this list is two-fold. One, we have had two nights of sub-freezing temperatures with daytime highs in the 30’s. Two, we have some people from up North who visit each winter. They are called “Winter Texans” and continually provide examples of what not to do. I hope you enjoy the list.

10 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not insist on wearing shorts and flip-flops. If you do, at best folks will think you are nuts. At worst, your blue knees and feet will frighten small children. (I know it’s 40 below in Minot. That is about the same temperature as 29 on the beach.)

9 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not think a beach fire will offset the cold. If you do, at best one side of you will be thawed. At worst, those winds will whip embers into the bed of your pickup to meet up with that gas can you keep there. (You don’t even have a boat so what’s up with the gas can Dudley?)

8 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not think the sixty-degree water will warm you if you go in. If you do, at best you’ll get the surprise of your life. At worst, you will need to call 911 and have the EMS crew standing by with thermal blankets. (Also the institution will be nice and cozy while you are under psychological observation, right Buford?)

7 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not try to salvage your vacation. If you do, at best all the games and beach toys will be useful someday. At worst, your family will not speak to you for a month. (It only took three hours to get their body temperatures back to normal, Idiot.)

6 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not think that tent is going to keep you warm. If you do, at best you’ll find a nice motel room after two hours. At worst, the thirty miles per hour wind will relocate your tent to the next county. (Hard to sleep with no shelter huh Bunky?)

5 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not think that water in your camper tank will not freeze. If you do, at best you’ll need to wait for a drink. At worst, your tank which was a one piece is now two. (Amazing about that wind chill isn’t it, Camper Dan)

4 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not try to interest everyone in smores. If you do, at best the attractiveness of frozen smores is at best marginal. At worst your youngest got his tongue stuck on the metal marshmallow roasting fork. (The fire department wasn’t amused and the CPS officer wants to ask you some question about child abuse. Ferd)

3 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not try to cut the line at the packed coffee-house. If you do at best, you will be asked to leave. At worst, the guy you cut ahead of is Tiny the WWF champ who just left his anger management class after receiving an F on his final exam. (Looks like you might need some help, Buster)

2 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, do not rent a golf cart thinking it a good way to stay warm while on the beach. If you do, at best you’ll wish you had heavier coats. At worst, you will try to return the cart only to find the fee is nonrefundable. (Looks like you spent about a hundred dollars an hour for something you should not have rented in the first place.)

1 If the temperatures at the beach are below freezing, resist the temptation to cruise the beach in your big ‘ole dually pickup truck. At best, you will not see anything. At worst, you will spew enough diesel smoke to take out a pack of seagulls. (Why not just stay in your travel trailer and wait until tomorrow when it will be eighty degrees)

Views of the Neighborhood

January 8, 2017January 7, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 52 Comments

It is time to change my header on Fiction Favorites. I have some photos that could be in contention for the job. Rather than me making the selection, I thought it might be fun to show you the candidates and let you choose the most favored. There is a poll at the bottom for you to use to record your choice. So here they are. One thing that struck me as I lined these photos up was how different the same position on the beach (looking East) is in reality

The first is a long shot of a stormy day. Candidate #1

Header picture

This is a shot of the sun breaking through the clouds. Candidate #2

A picture of an isolated thunderstorm. Candidate #3

Header Picture

The sunrise in late fall.Candidate #4

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A cold day with blowing sand Candidate #5

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As always, thank you for your help. The winner will be posted on the header next week.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Coat” #SoCS, #JusJoJan

January 7, 2017January 6, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

SOCS

Just Jot it January

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “Coat.” It is also Just Jot is January and this post counts in both. That’s good since I have missed all the prompts so far. If you would like to participate in either go to Linda Hill’s post and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-and-jusjojan-jan-717/

“What are you doing?”

“Putting on a coat.”

“I can see that. I’m talking about those gloves, the cap, scarf, and Uggs.”

“Hello. This is the middle of winter and we’re going out.”

“I know but you look like you live in Minnesota. ”

“I can’t help it. The Arctic Vortex has hit us.”

“Well, it’s a little colder than normal but hardly worth dressing like you’re competing in the Iditarod.”

“Speak for yourself flip-flop man. I see you are wearing shoes.”

“Well yeah. we are going out to dinner and I don’t think the restaurant folks would appreciate me walking in with flip-flops. Besides these are boat shoes. Hardly good in the snow.”

“I don’t care. I’ve been cold for two days and I’m not taking it anymore.”

“Cold for two days? Are you sure you don’t have the flu or something?”

“I don’t have anything but goosebumps.”

“The Arctic Vortex has just been here since yesterday. Why have you been cold for two days.”

“You know as well as I the air conditioner was not working right. It was stuck on cool. The house was 65 degrees.”

“I know. Why didn’t you open the door and let in some warm air?”

“You know how the humidity ruins the furniture.”

“Well, it is now fixed.”

“And it is still 65 degrees.”

“Turn on the heat.”

“What? Turn on the heat so early in the season? No way.”

“You know how ridiculous this conversation sounds to the folks up North don’t you?”