This list has as inspiration recently changing phone, internet, and TV providers. I wanted to get higher speed internet, and the local phone company had nothing faster, so I had to go to a new supplier. I bought a bundle including phone, internet, and TV.
Ten Things Not to Do When Changing Entertainment Providers
10 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not expect anything to work that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated. At worst, you will need someone to apply some electroshock to bring you back from the heart attack.
9 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them touch anything until verifying the price. If you do, at best the price will be the same as agreed. At worst, some clod in the sales department quoted you a price on just half the equipment, and now the COD charge is twice. (and your other supplier is no longer your supplier)
8 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let the tech leave until you try everything. If you do, at best there will be no batteries in the remotes. At worst, your internet and TV resemble something driven by a captured mouse on a wheel that hasn’t had a square meal in weeks.
7 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not let them come to the house until they have confirmed your old phone number will be ready to hook up. If you do, at best you will be given a temporary number until your old number is available. At worst, the old number will not be available for a few weeks and in the meantime your number is one digit off from an all night at home message service.
6 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not think all your precious recordings on the old DVR will stay with you. If you do, at best you will be surprised. At worst, you will sadly realize those episodes of the Mentalist that you were going to watch over the summer no longer exist and you will have no idea how the season and the series ends. (Spoiler alert, everyone is happy)
5 If you are changing entertainment providers, pay no attention when the tech says “Oh oh that’s not good.” If you do, at best you will lose confidence in getting service quickly. At worst, you will be drawn into a conflict between the tech and his home office over whether or not you need TV service.
4 if you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on getting anything else done that day. If you do, at best you will be frustrated in having to cancel plans. At worst, you will have planned an important meeting that was to take place in the afternoon but since the tech is still working you have a decision between getting TV, Internet and phone service or keeping your job.
3 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not suggest to the tech that there might be a better way to install something. If you do, at best the tech will ignore you. At worst, the tech will follow your direction and because you were not clear you now have a major hole in the wall between your living and dining room and a highly attractive black cable running across the floor.
2 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on downloading those large files from work. If you do, at best your temporary download speed will mean the job will be finished sometime in June. At worst, the documents and files you are attempting to download will show up on your neighbor’s computer who does not have ultra-high security clearance necessary to be in possession of the sensitive federal documents which you discover as the Homeland Security SWAT team is pounding on your front door.
1 If you are changing entertainment providers, do not plan on using the equipment for at least three days and twenty-four hours on the phone (cell) with the customer and technical support. If you do, at best you will be wondering why you are participating in this particular hell. At worst, we will be watching the late news seeing you on top of the provider’s customer care center blinded by bright searchlights and being ordered not to jump. (or even worse, to put the automatic weapon down)
Fiction Favorites 
Very entertaining John, you have a lot of time on your hands….
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Thanks.
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That was fun. I’d recommend checking the fire extinguisher with #5 too. 😀
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LOL. Good idea.
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Oh no, I think I should have seen this earlier. I lost track of how many rules I broke. Nice post. I’m sticking with our current mix for another year.
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Should get a physical exam to see if one is fit to make a change. 🙂
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Over here we don’t have that problem. We only have one telephone provider, and they don’t have anything to do with television. You don’t need to use them for internet, but they have the monopoly on the actual phone and ADSL lines, so you’re stuck with them. The four cell phone companies all require you to sign two-year contracts you can’t get out of even if they change the contract fee four months in (as is happening to me next month – at least they let you know about it in advance), and the equipment (dish and decoder) required for the three satellite TV providers are not cross-compatible, so it’s not financially viable to switch (and only one of them is worth using in any case. It makes things so much simpler if you simply don’t have a choice…
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Whoa. Makes my problems seem trivial. Thanks for making me feel better
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I forgot to mention, telephone cable theft is a big problem here (scrap copper fetches a lot on the black market), so even if you pay for the fastest ADSL connection available entire suburbs can find themselves disconnected without warning for weeks on end. 🙂
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Amazing.
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Africa’s not for wimps 😉
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I guess not.
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This list is exactly why we haven’t changed internet providers in, like, forever. Our internet provider is our phone company and that company has actually changed it’s name several times over the last several years so it’s almost like getting a new provider 😉 And, where I live, the only other provider is Comcast and their customer service is awful. We have basic cable with them, and sometimes I wonder why we bother since we have a Roku and use that to watch Netflix, Hulu, etc. Plus, we like to diversify. A few of my friends had “bundles” with Comcast which meant that when the service went down, everything (phones, TV, internet) was all down. Crazy 😉
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I know what you mean. I was forced to Time Warner sine my phone provider (Century Link) was totally unreliable. I had an internet outage and slow speeds every hour. We still are waiting for the phone number from Century Link to be ported over to us. looks like the 16th now.
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We currently have Century Link. They’ve given us better service than Comcast. Still, we had to upgrade our equipment (router, repeater) before we could get reliable, relatively fast connections. Still, only have two service providers to choose from doesn’t make for good competition. I hope you have better service with Time Warner.
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Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
Thinking about changing internet providers? Read this list of what not to do, courtesy of John Howell. Heed his warnings and you might avoid accidentally going off the grid.
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Thank you Marie for the nice re-blog
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After spending the majority of our weekend on the phone with our cable provider, we were ready to change. After reading this…maybe not.
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Takes courage
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And a lot of patience. 😦
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i just went through the whole changing providers saga over the past 2 months – I exorcised our house of the demon aka Time Warner Cable. I think our lives are much improved as a result!
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I had to go to Time Warner so I know your pain.
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Great tips! We need to call Geek Squad. One of our remotes, which cost one million dollars, is on the fritz….
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One million for a remote?
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Oh i cringe to think about it… But i’ve been Comcast-free for 20 months now. No regrets at all. Netflix and i are doing just fine. I watch more TV with them than i did with Comcast — not necessarily a good thing, but a cheaper thing. Hugs.
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I hear you. I would like to kick TV to the curb but I still like some network shows on a weekly basis.
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There were a couple that i thought i’d really miss. And i did — for about 2 weeks. Now i’ve found many series i was not familiar with until i took up Netflix. LOL, like i said — maybe not such a good thing.
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Last time I moved is the last time I changed providers and bells should have gone off. I bet every single one of your points happened. Never changing again. We currently have the highest speed and pay the top fee for high speed bandwidth and guess what. I don’t see any difference.
Are you up and running okay now?
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Am running but do not have the permanent
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What a hassle. Sorry to hear that, John.
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all things will come. Thanks
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Patience isn’t just an eight-letter word. Sigh.
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Internet is running now after a modem exchange (50 mile round trip off the island) at their store. I could have waited for a tech but in all honesty I know more than the techs. I knew the modem was fried but it took almost four hours of phone time with tech support to get then to admit it. I have spent a total of eight hours on the phone.
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What a pain. Glad the mess up is behind you now. As much as I like technology, sometimes the technicians haven’t kept up-to-date. 😦
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I know.
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A lot of these rules apply to even KEEPING the same provider, but just moving to a new location…something I discovered last year and had to wait a couple of days for them to straighten everything out!
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You would think it could be easier
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Having just gone through this, I applaud you for speaking the truth. 😡
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yeah, you just did it.
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Can I verify they’re open first? What day is it?
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Monday.
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GOD!!!!! This drives me crazy.
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Heh heh heh
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An entertaining view on a collective of frustrations in today’s world.
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Yes. Thanks
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