Here is the 23rd installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Buying Gifts for Others
10. If you are buying a gift for a girlfriend, do not plan to give clothes unless you are double dog sure of the sizes. If you’re lucky, you buy something too small and she feels bad (yet happy) because you think she’s smaller than she really is. If you’re unlucky, you buy something too big and she makes you feel bad for thinking that she’s bigger than she really is.
9. If you are buying a gift for a boyfriend, do not plan to give him one of those latest mechanical gifts from an on-line gadget store. Best case: he won’t be able to figure out what it is for and will feel stupid. Worst case: he will know what it is for since he already has one.
8. If you are getting a gift for a mother-in-law, do not plan to re-gift something you received from a family member or even a complete stranger. In the best case, you’ll have left the gift receipt in the box with last year’s date. In the worst case, it will be the very gift your mother-in-law gave you two years ago. To make it even more embarrassing, you raved about how perfect the gift was when you got it.
7. If you are buying a gift for a father-in-law, do not plan to give any kind of hat. The best case is your mother-in-law will tell him he looks ridiculous in it. The worst case is he will actually like it and wear it just to spite the mother-in-law, and then you will be on the hook for the resulting friction.
6. If you are buying a gift for a spouse, do not plan to give them anything they asked for when you asked what they wanted for Christmas. At best, your spouse will consider the gift as a no brainer on your part and wonder why you didn’t get something else. At worst, your spouse will have changed their mind and you now have a new door stop.
5. If you want to give a gift to a teen-ager, do not buy anything. Simply give them the money you would have spent. If you do buy an unwanted gift, the best you can hope for will be an eye-roll followed by the teen-ager getting a cash refund for the gift. At the worst, you’ll soon find the gift, with the gift sticker still affixed, at your local thrift store.
4. If you are buying a gift for a co-worker, do not buy any intimate apparel or anything that could be considered personal. In the best case, you will be thought of as “kind of creepy.” In the worst case, you will be explaining to Human Resources what you had intended by the gift.
3. If you are buying a gift for the postal person do not give anything you have baked. The postal employee is fully capable of putting their own cookie together. At best, you will see your baked goods handed off to the next mailbox on your street. At worst, you will wonder why your mail stopped after the holidays.
2. If you are buying a gift for a white elephant gift exchange, do not buy anything you might not want to take home. The best case is you manage to avoid being stuck with what you brought. The worst case is you will be the proud owner of the gift you brought which then you will have to store away until next year or gift to your mother-in-law.
1. If you are buying a gift for your boss, do not try to keep up with his tastes. Simply get a gift card from Amazon and let him pick up a book. The best case is whatever you give other than the gift card will never cost enough. The worst case is you might actually spend enough to find out your boss has one of what you bought. Unless it is a new Ferrari, you will never recover.
Fiction Favorites 
Very useful guide…especially for this season (lol)!
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Thank you. Tis a hazardous trail this gift giving.
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too true!
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As a boss, an Amazon card is the BEST!
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Thought of you as it was being written.
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Nothing is more dangerous than buying a gift for the mother-in-law. Can’t even win with a gift card.
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Nope. “Gift card? Oh so you don’t care.” “Fuzzy slippers? Oh so you think I’m getting older?”
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I answer ‘yes’ to both questions.
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😀
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Going home with our white elephant gift is a goal of mine, yet I never do. Dang.
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I did once. Really bad. Dumped it the next year. Thanks
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Good morning, John. Great list! #6 is spot-on for me. I rarely give my husband a gift these days since he tends to buy what he wants when he wants it. Oh, and vice versa 🙂 He doesn’t even try 😉
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What ever works is good. Thanks and good morning to you.
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I never thought of baking anything for my mailman. There’s a kind of genius in that, I think . . .
At any rate, I agree with Mrs Beckford- an Amazon card is, pretty much, always a safe bet. My mother in law is like my best friend, however, so I’m not afraid to buy anything for her 😉
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You are very lucky. 🙂
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I always buy a nice white elephant gift, in case I get stuck with my own, but end up coming home with three jars of mustard.
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I got a bottle of bourbon once. It is still on the shelf. Does “aged twenty years in glass” mean anything?
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I would have sipped it slowly over time most likely. I have a bottle of bordeaux that has been in the bottom of my wardrobe gifted to me when I bought my last house in 2003, It is to be opened in 2014, like any good bordeaux of 20 years. It’s FL, It’s hot. I am expecting vinegar.
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I lost an entire wine supply to the Texas heat when we re-located from California. The truck broke down and was in the hot sun for three days.
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Ouch! I would have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning.
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🙂 🙂 Thanks!
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You are welcome. Thank you for the visit.
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He he, cute. Gotta share…
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Sounds good. Thanks
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Ha– the one about buying clothes for women is very true! I’ve told my boyfriend to just not even think about it. It can really only go badly…
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The rule should be nothing to wear unless it is made of metal.
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And sparkles, haha
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good upgrade (AT&T term)
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Jeez if I bought crotchless pants for a few oh my staff, firstly it would be creepy but the pants would double as a fold up tent for two. Pants in the UK Meaning by the way. Not trousers.
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LOL. Thanks for the very funny visual of a fold up tent with maybe a ruffle.
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Ruffle!
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Thanks for morning chuckles. Got to love White Elephant Parties as everyone brings one so everyone gets one.
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The stealing from others is the fun part.
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That a way!
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This made me giggle like a 5 year old 🙂 good thing i dont have many people to buy presents for, so i hope i’ll get it right this year!
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As long as you don’t have a mother in law to buy for you will be fine.
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I do, actually.
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*crickets*
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🙂
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ah shit, John, I bought your gift at victoria’s secret.
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I hope you got the super size. I don’t think I can fit into anything smaller.
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Too much Turkey?
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and cranberries
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Very neat insight 🙂
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Thank you so much
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