Top Ten Things Not to Do While Trying to Attract Other Authors to do a Top Ten List

 

Here is the 55th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. I decided to publish this list in case anyone wants to do a Top Ten you will at least know some thought has been put in how to behave. Of course, the person who needs to behave is ME. If you would like to guest post a list of your own, contact me at johnhowell.wave@gmail.com

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Trying to Lure Attract Other Authors to do a Top Ten List

10. If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not make them believe they will become rich and famous. If you do, at best they will overlook the one “like” and still speak to you. At worst, they could find a way to troll your blog for the rest of your life.

9.   If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not try to write a top ten list for them. If you do, at best you will probably include information which makes no sense. At worst, you might unintentionally include embarrassing information which the author had no idea you knew and which will put you on the author’s hate list for all time.

8.   If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not lead them to believe it is easy. If you do, at best you may never get the author to guest blog again. At worst, you may find some unpleasant e-mails from your previous colleague requesting you to place your list where the sun doesn’t shine.

7.   If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not think you won’t need a post for that day. If you do, at best you will be scrambling to put together something at the last minute. At worst, you will publish an incoherent post that is so off the mark you’ll want to enroll in a witness protection program and will be willing to commit a crime to do so.

6.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not force the subject. If you do at best you may end up with a top ten list of nothing. At worst you will no doubt antagonize your readers with the crap produced and will have made an enemy for life of the author.

5.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not insist on running your own media. If you do, at best your media will have absolutely no tie in to the list. At worst you will have the pleasure of enjoying your media selection alone which is a state that may turn out to be permanent.

4.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not set up a set of pre-publish rules that may be impossible to follow. If you do, at best you may find yourself listless on Monday. At worst, you may cause what has been a lovely relationship with the author  to degenerate into twelve paces at dawn and you don’t know how to fire a flintlock pistol.

3.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not promise food or money for participation. If you do, at best you will need to figure out a way to select the best lists. At worst, you may be put in a position of turning down beautiful lists due to the fact that you have run out of money and food turning those you don’t accept into lifelong Voo Doo practitioners.

2.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not offer to guest post on their blog in return. If you do, at best you might get a nibble or two. At worst, you will be listening to the crickets for a long time since none of those offered really want you to guest post.

1.  If you are trying to attract other authors for a top ten-guest appearance, do not plead, beg, cry, or kick your feet. If you do, at best your fellow bloggers will find a way to unfollow you. At worst, you will broadcast your desperation which in the jungle as well as in the blogosphere can lead to being pounced upon by hungry lions..

 

13 comments

  1. The food one is easy. One slice of bread per author. As long as you don’t say ‘meal’, anything edible is allowed. Although, you might find yourself with a horde of hungry authors attacking your pantry.

    Like

    1. So I don’t need to offer butter. Thank heavens

      Like

  2. The worse-case scenario in #8 will never happen 🙂 And I almost shot hot coffee through my nose with #7. Well done! I’m sorry this is so hard, but you are very funny under pressure 😉

    Like

    1. Thank you Marie. Glad you like them.

      Like

  3. Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
    Jump on over to John Howell’s Fiction Favorites and enjoy this week’s top ten list!

    Like

  4. John, you are great at these solo efforts. I wish I had the nerve to give it a try.

    Like

    1. Seems easy. When you break it down you have one situation then you have 10 things not to do. Then you have 10 at best scenarios and 10 at worst scenarios… You know what? This is hard crap and I didn’t even know it. I’m not sure I have the nerve

      On Mon, Jul 21, 2014 at 9:04 AM, Fiction Favorites wrote:

      >

      Like

  5. You are so clever. If you got a taste of my humor in my WIP you might not be so quick to accept just any old body for this challenging task.

    Like

    1. You do make me laugh though

      On Mon, Jul 21, 2014 at 1:06 PM, Fiction Favorites wrote:

      >

      Like

  6. This is great, John! Wow, 55 top 10 posts…that’s amazing…congratulations! You certainly have the sense of humor to write another 55! Roll on!

    Like

    1. Thank you Jill. I am now inspired to do ….well at least another one.

      Like

  7. Still cogitating on my list John!

    Like

    1. Please take your time.

      Like

%d bloggers like this: