Here is the 60th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do. The inspiration for this came from sitting in several doctor’s offices this week.
Top Ten Things Not to do While Visiting a Doctor
10. If you are visiting a doctor, do not listen to your tunes with earphones while in the waiting room. If you do, at best you will miss your name and have a few more hours wait. At worst, you will start humming one of your favorites and will be asked to wait in the hallway until your name is called.
9. If you are visiting a doctor, do not smile at the old lady sitting across from you even thought she is smiling at you. If you do, at best she will think you nuts since her smile will turn out to be gas. At worst, she will think you are from another planet and give you a nice whack with her cane.
8. If you are visiting a doctor, remember to turn off your cellphone. If you don’t, at best you will get some annoying notifications. At worst, you will get a call from another doctor’s office wanting to discuss the results of your last test.
7. If you are visiting a doctor, do not touch anything in the office waiting room. If you do, at best you will only catch a cold. At worst, you will be in line for the next case of Ebola since the first case finished with the magazine you are reading now.
6. If you are visiting a doctor, do not attempt any doctor humor. If you do, at best you will bomb like Henny Youngman at an NRA convention. At worst, you will keep wondering about not being able to feel your leg after the shot from the humorless one in charge.
5. If you are visiting a doctor, do not try to get in without paying your co-payment amount. If you do, at best you will called back to the front to the amusement of all the patients. At worst, you will meet the biggest medical technician who will hold you upside down until you pay up.
4. If you are visiting a doctor do not go through any of the cabinets in the examination room. If you do, at best you will see some unusual instruments that will make you want to leave immediately. At worst, the doctor will walk in just as you come across the samples of products designed to prevent sexually transmitted disease
3. If you are visiting a doctor do not ask questions about the degrees posted on the walls. If you do, at best you will find they don’t belong to your doctor. At worst, you will find out your doctor went to a rival school to yours and one known for its status as a party university.
2. If you are visiting a doctor do not ask for samples of drugs. If you do, at best you will be given a lecture about the evils of addiction. At worst, you will be escorted to the interrogation room of the local DEA office where there will be difficult questions about what you know and when you knew it.
1. If you are visiting a doctor, do not forget to bring your medication list. If you forget, at best your doctor will prescribe something similar to what you already take. At worst, your doctor will prescribe drugs that have contraindications to what you take and you will be found tomorrow wandering naked in the middle of the street babbling something about the giant pink elephant.
Fiction Favorites 
I guess visiting a GP in the UK is very different, you would never get to suggest a drug make. Sometimes the Doctor prints your prescription and the Chemist changes the brand. Recently our Doctors went high tech and your name appears large with the GP room number on an electronic name board no more lollipop sticks to wait your turn with a number on it, you rarely get to choose your favourite GP now you get one allocated. You log yourself in on a screen and my Mum takes hand gel to use every time because of germs lol so that made me laugh about magazines, we don’t have them anymore. The cabinets have gone now too and everything is on computer.
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We are all headed in the direction of the UK. Thanks for the comment and visit.(I know you are very busy)
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A trip to the UK that’s brilliant, I hope you have a fabulous time. Can’t wait to read about what you get up to :). I try my best to keep in touch. I’ve been singing for a couple or hours so just taking a short break, it’s a bank holiday here so I can concentrate all day on my music.
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I meant healthchare is headed the way of the UK. Sorry I will not be.
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Ahh maybe you should come over and check us out 🙂 lol
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Might be a good idea to laugh at the doctor’s jokes too. Even the bad ones since he does have the ability to prescribe blood tests and prostate exams.
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Just went through that and know exactly what you mean.
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My sympathies.
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😀 😀 😀 I think it best to avoid the doctor’s office. It’s a germ infested environment. 😦
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More and more I’m viewing doctors’ offices as roach motels: I can check in, but I might not check out.
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I know I have seen too many Doctors already. The pink elephants have become my friends.
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I think laughing at the doctor’s jokes is the best idea. I think they had no socialization because they studied too hard in high school and college. To let them know you think they are funny, makes them feel like they are part of the human race!
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I guess we should all prepare a joke for the doctor. As Charles says, it is in our best interest. Her’s one. The guy goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he has bad news. The guy says he wants a second opinion. The doctor says, “And you’re ugly too.”
On Mon, Aug 25, 2014 at 1:28 PM, Fiction Favorites wrote:
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I have an appointment on Wednesday. I will try it!
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What’s funny is often various doctors offer to give me drug samples. I usually don’t return when they do that.
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Especially if they are habit forming. Like wine.
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I often fall victim to #6 John. The usual reaction reminds me of Ether Addiction.
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LOL #7 this is why I never ever read in waiting rooms. Not even my own reading material because it may just get infected. I blame it on my overactive imagination.
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You are wise not overactive. 🙂
On Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 6:27 PM, Fiction Favorites wrote:
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