Top Ten Thing Not to Do When having a Garage Sale

a garage sale

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Having a garage Sale.

This list was inspired by a recent weekend of visiting a number of garage sales in the search of nautical artifacts that were supposed to be available in different locations.

10 If you have a garage sale, do not stock the inventory with all junk. If you do, at best you will look like you are down and out. At worst, you won’t make many sales since everyone has enough junk that looks and smells like yours at home.If you have a garage sale, do not advertise items that you don’t intend to sell. If you do, at best you can tell the folks the item is already sold.

9 If you have a garage sale, do not advertise items that you don’t intend to sell. If you do, at best you can tell the folks the item is already sold. At worst, you may have some early birds who will know the item isn’t sold and will have to deal with the subsequent mob who will convince you to go get the item in question or face walking the plank.

8 If you have a garage sale, do not put a child in charge of collecting money. If you do, at best your child will feel the impatience of the line that has formed since making change is not your child’s life skill. At worst, you may get a pirate who will be tempted to empty the cash box and steal the child to collect money at other garage sales to continue the cycle forever.

7 If you have a garage sale, do not sit in a big overstuffed chair eating chicken. If you do, at best some of your buyers will be disgusted and leave. At worst, you might lose your chicken to the highest bidder and have no say so in the matter.

6 If you have a garage sale, do not offer for sale any clothing that has not been washed. If you do, at best you will end up with the same inventory which you started out the day. At worst, you will be forced to discount the clothes to the point where some pirate will talk you into paying to remove the stuff.

5 If you have a garage sale, do not offer any eight track stereo tapes for sale. If you do, at best your age will automatically be transparent to all attendees over the age of forty. At worst, you will actually get a buyer who will insist on playing the choices before buying and you won’t have a player which this person has in the car and will loan you while staying and listening in your house for the next week since he has nowhere else to go.

4 If you have a garage sale, do not think the Ty Beanie babies are still thought of as rare finds. If you do, at best they will be priced unreasonably and you‘ll still have them at the end of the sale. At worst, you may actually find someone who is in the dark as much as you and who will buy all of them only to return tomorrow with a can of gas and a demand for their money back.

3 If you have a garage sale, do not smoke cigarettes or let one bob on your lip as you are doing a deal. If you do, At best many will realize all your items will smell like they have been in a forest fire and leave. At worst, one of your ashes will fall into your precious amber collection and produce a conflagration to rival the eruption of Vesuvius.If you have a garage sale, do not offer alcoholic beverages to those attending. If you do, at best you may have

2 If you have a garage sale, do not offer alcoholic beverages to those attending. If you do, at best you may have way more attendee than buyers. At worst, you may have a party which gets out of hand and makes your neighbors so upset that the next morning you find over ten for sale signs on your front lawn.

1 If you have a garage sale do not forget to post signs on where you are located. If you do forget at best you may miss some interested buyers. At worst your buyers will finally find you with only the thought of revenge in their heart which does not make for a happy customer.

25 comments

  1. Good morning, John! These are also great reasons for not even going to garage sales 🙂

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    1. Also thanks for the re-blog

      On Mon, Sep 22, 2014 at 6:44 AM, Fiction Favorites wrote:

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  2. Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
    Do you like having garage sales? Or going to them? If yes to either question, then read on for John Howell’s tips on what not to do when having a garage sale. You might even share some of your own horror stories 🙂

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  3. That eight track one reminds me of trying to sell VHS tapes at the last garage sale. Somebody took them as collectables, but you get some ‘looks’ on some of the choices. Helps to just point at the wife when she’s not looking.

    Also, be careful putting toys out for sale when you have a small child running around. You might find most of them back in the house by the end of the day. The son snagged several stuffed animals, a dragon toy, and something from a cartoon about talking hamsters. Also bead necklaces.

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    1. We were selling some things when daughter was about ten. Big meltdown. She’s twenty-five and the stuff’s still with us.

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      1. We had one of those when we decided we’d had enough of him claiming all the toys. I wasn’t actually outside when it happened, but I showed up to the aftermath. Apparently my wife let him throw a tantrum in the middle of the garage sale. Not a great idea.

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      2. i have to tell you about a swell tantrum. I was picking my daughter up at school and she was in the first grade. The school was close enough to walk home. There must have been one hundred parents when I asked daughter if she would like to take piano lessons. She screamed NO and threw herself on the ground. Bunch of mothers thought I was a kidnapper. Was so much fun.(not)

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      3. Geez. Isn’t it great when they do those things in public?

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  4. Number 7 is too funny, John! I don’t go to garage sales, I’ve got enough of my own junk.

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    1. Thanks, Jill. I have enough of mine as well.

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  5. The chicken tip achieved the biggest chuckle … but oh my, oh the sociological stories can be told via garage sales.

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    1. You do have to keep your eyes open though. No taking notes either. Folks get real nervous. Thanks for the comment .

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      1. Absolutely on both counts.

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  6. Aah, garage sales. Love ’em or leave ’em. They’re here to stay. 😛

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    1. Rather leave them

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  7. The RS pulls out stuff for garage sells and then when people show interest in it he starts hiding it away to keep for himself. Trouble is, he doesn’t even know what he has until he starts pulling it out. Defeats the purpose of the sell, but helps him organize his junk.

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  8. You mean I can’t sell Angus’ dirty diapers!?

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    1. You can, but I would suggest a no return sign.

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  9. My rule? Don’t have garage sales……………….

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    1. Good rule. They are forbidden in our community.(there is a reason for that)

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  10. We have loads of TY at home, Mum discussed giving them away all three of us 24,20 and 18 immediately said no way. Do you want to take them with you to your digs? Nooooo! Lol

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    1. My daughter is 25 and also says no to anything remotely used.

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