Last week was the conclusion of the Frank and Billy saga. Although it looked bad for the duo, there was a last-minute trick a la Bob Newhart finale where I pulled a dream sequence to save the boys from certain destruction. Maybe some day we will see Frank and Billy again but this week we have a brand new cast of characters. The first character is named Bob, and he wants to be a published writer. The second character is Bob’s mentor named (you guessed it) Jane. The reason the names are a little like a primary reader is so we don’t all get lost in the dialog and can concentrate on the story. Okay, okay, I’ll change the mentors name to Charlotte. There everybody happy? So the opening scene has Bob in Charlotte’s office, and this is their first session together. I give you Bob and Charlotte. Hope you enjoy.
“So what is the first thing I need to do to get published Charlotte er I can call you Charlotte right?”
“Yes, Bob Charlotte is fine. You have finished your manuscript?”
“Yes, I have it’s right here.”
“Let me look at it.”
“Sure here. Watch out it’s pretty heavy.”
“Did you print this from your computer?”
“Not exactly. I wrote it by hand.”
“You’re kidding me. Let me see this. Oh my gosh, this is all in cursive writing.”
“Yeah, I don’t feel comfortable working with a computer on my books.”
“Why not for heaven’s sake?”
“I don’t think the true value of the work comes through. You know the pain, the angst, the struggle.”
“You don’t think working with a computer would ease a little of that for you?”
“Yes, but then how will a publisher know of my journey.”
“A publisher doesn’t give a crap about your journey. They want to be able to read the work and evaluate whether or not it is commercially viable.”
“I have a problem with that word.”
“Which word?”
“Commercially. I am an artist, after all.”
“And you want to be published.”.
“Yes, of course.”
“I agreed to mentor you only because your mother and I were roommates in college. I have to tell you I’m not sure you are ready.”
“Aw don’t say that. What do I need to do?”
“Besides get this manuscript typed?”
“I don’t want to have it typed.”
“Oh, my gosh.”
lol. “Not ready” is an understatement…
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Yes it is. Oh my gosh is the panic thought of the day for a mentor.
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Oh this is going to be both interesting and oddly relatable to some. It’s like authors are incredibly stubborn creatures with eccentricities.
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I hope to broadly mock all of us.
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I sense a lot of awkward laughter from the audience. 🙂
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Sound of one hand clapping
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That does make a small sound.
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Best line: “A publisher doesn’t give a crap about your journey.” I miss Frank and Billy, but I think I’m going to love this new series with Bob and Charlotte 🙂
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Starts a little weak but that is what happens in character introductions. I almost killed it but then thought better of it. Thanks. We’ll see how it goes.
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I’m glad you thought better of it 🙂
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Thanks
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I think I’m gong to like this.
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I hope so. We’ll see.
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This is fun. Bob’s got a lot to learn. Poor Charlotte.
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Poor indeed
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“Oh my gosh” is right… Eerrr John… I wouldn’t be able to write this one past episode 2 where Charlotte throws herself out the window. 😀
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Ha Ha ha . She is a saint
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OMGosh is right! Poor Charlotte. I hope she has either tranquilizers or some gin in her bottom drawer. She’s going to need help. This is going to be a great read. I can tell. 😀 😀 😛
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I Like the gin idea. might come in handy.
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Ha ha. With a client like that, she’ll need all the help she can get. 😉
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I guess it didn’t occur to Bob that just because he suffers for his art, that doesn’t mean everyone else has to. Nice way to get over the hump, Sheriff.
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Good point Pilgrim.
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I like the name Charlotte. She’s gonna have her hands full. 🙂
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So true.
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