Top Ten Things Not to do When Taking Family Photos

This list was inspired by looking at a number of photos that have been posted on-line recently.

a camera

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Taking Family Photos

10 If you are taking family photos, do not forget the background. If you do, at best you might have a stray person in the shot. At worst, you may have the perfect family park photo with a lovely backdrop of the trash receptacle.

9 If you are taking family photos, do not ignore what each person has in their hand. If you do, at best you’ll take photos which catch a bunch of red Solos. At worse, you may get a fine shot of everyone with red Solos as well as Uncle Jeff and his smoked turkey leg.

8 If you are taking family photos, do not let anyone pose without a shirt. If you do, at best you have to hope your family is well toned. At worst, you will have photos of family members who resemble a gathering of a Yeti clan or a convention of the Michelin Man actor’s league.

7 If you are taking family photos, do not let the camera shake. If you do, at best your photos will be blurry. At worst the photos will all make your family appear as if they are having severe withdrawal from controlled substances.

6 If you are taking family photos, tell a joke and don’t just command everyone to smile. If you do, at best your family will look artificial in appearance. At worst, you will have captured what will be interpreted by outsiders is living proof zombies exist.

5 If you are taking family photos, do not take this occasion to introduce some creative photo techniques you have always wanted to try. If you do, at best your family will not understand what you have done. At worst, you will have created a set of photos that your family will insist be burned in front of them and possession of the memory stick which they will destroy in front of you.

4 If you are taking family photos, do not try to take photos late into the party. If you do, at best everyone will appear tired in the pictures. At worst, you will find it more difficult to get pictures without tongues sticking out and two fingers behind every head.

3 If you are taking family photos, do not pose members in an unflattering way. If you do, at best you might hurt some feelings. At worst, Aunt Malva and Uncle George will seek an injunction to have the photos kept from public view. Especially that one where they are comparing the size of their bellies.

2 If you are taking family photos, do not over serve yourself. If you do, at best you will take some pictures that aren’t useable. At worst, you will capture some subjects in unusual poses which you think are fine but they want to kill you for possession of them.

1 If you are taking family photos, do not keep everyone waiting while you set the camera and the lights and the self-timer.  If you do, at best your photo will show some of the tension. At worst you‘ll have a photo where it appears someone has just opened a large container of Limburger cheese.

35 comments

  1. Great, humorous, interesting post! Delightful reading, John. A post to save. 🙂
    Best regards, Dina & co

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are too kind. Thanks.

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  2. Very entertaining John. My brother once took a whole bunch of photos of his then girlfriend and her family and in every one their heads did not appear….we always thought it remarkable how he managed to do that….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. I’ll bet he was re leaved of duty the next time. (if there was a next time)

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  3. OMG…. Thanks for the giggles.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always a pleasure.

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  4. I’ve seen many of those worst ones happen. Every time involved ‘rednecks’. Though #1 reminds me of a wedding I went to. Some times, the photographer took so long getting ready that other people would be pushed into the shot by one of the control-obsessed family members. Done with enough time to repose everyone, so the photographer seemed to not notice the change.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That sounds like a great comedy bit. The photog looks up at the end and where there were a few now a whole city.

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      1. It’s chuckle-inducing looking back at it. At the time, not many people were happy about the whole thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Those are some of the best laugh moments. When some are upset it makes the scene.

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  5. Haha, thanks for the tips!

    If you are taking family photos, do not let anyone pose without a shirt <- This made me laugh…there's always one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes two. Thanks Amanda

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  6. Oh, these are so good, John! The best family photos (and maybe the worst) seem to happen at family reunions. Those candid shots can be priceless 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. The funny thing is no matter how different they all look like the same family

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      1. LOL … that is so true!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
    Are you the family photographer? The one who is always asked to take pictures during a family reunion or wedding or holiday dinner? If you are, then read on for tips on what not to do while taking family photos. If you are not, then read on anyway for all the reasons why you should be glad you are not the family photographer. Enjoy, courtesy of John Howell.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Marie. Always a pleasure to see your re blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. These are hilarious, John! I almost choked on my coffee on number three. 🙂 Great job!

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  9. I take so long to get everyone set up that their smiles are plastic by the time I snap the shot. Inevitably someone’s smile has faded by then.

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    1. Or the jaw muscles gave out.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I love it, John. Number seven is my personal favourite. I stink at taking pictures personally. I never take into account what is in the background. I tend to just snap away rather than composing the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I get a lot of laughs out of seeing some strange things in the background of photos

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. It can be highly amusing. There can be the most inappropriate things in the background, which you often just do not notice when you take the picture, unless of course following your highly revered rule set.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The leftover pizza boxes are my favorite.

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  11. I won’t ever have to worry as I dislike taking family pictures. If I ever do take any, I’ll keep this list handy. Hilarious, John. My first Monday morning laugh.
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good Tess. I love laughter.

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      1. 😀 😀 😀 Hope it’s not too loud for you.

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  12. Now who doesn’t love a group photo? 4 is so true!

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    1. We all love them when they are done.

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  13. Way to mix humor with helpful hints … or were they helpful hints with humor … but not helpful humor with hints. … and thanks for explaining blurry trashcans in the pics.

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    1. Always ready to serve. Thanks for the visit.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. OHMYGOD. #1 is so annoying. My ex-father-in-law did that ALL THE TIME.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. You want to scream, “take the bleeping picture already.”

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  15. Great suggestions – and funny. AND true!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Say cheese. *poof*

      Liked by 1 person

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