Top Ten Things Not to do if Your Inhibitions Have Been Set Free

The inspiration for this list is a lifetime of observation of the behavior of people who finally let down their defenses. The lowering of defenses may have been as a result of being over-served or just a decision of not wanting to hold back any longer.  Although becoming open and honest without pretense can be a right thing more often that not the consequences of id liberation make such a move the source of regret.  I hope you enjoy the list.

a uninhibited

Ten Things Not to Do if Your Inhibitions Have Been Set Free.

10 If you feel uninhibited, do not free your body from clothes to match your mind. If you do, at best you will be all alone in the woods. At worst, you will become aware of your condition as the mall cops wrestle you to the floor and try to hide your parts.

9 If you feel uninhibited, do not ignore the speed laws. If you do, at best you’ll get home in one piece. At worst, you will find it hard to explain to the justice system that you no longer think the laws of the land apply to you since you feel free. You will also risk having a mandatory psych evaluation before your trial.

8 If you feel inhibited do not walk out of a store with unpaid merchandise. If you do, at best you can explain you forgot to check out, and no harm done. At worst, you will be escorted to the rear of the store by a guy with SECURITY on his shirt past the fifth grade class of your kid’s school on their annual retail field trip.

7 If you feel uninhibited, do not overestimate the value of the truth. If you do, at best your truthful comments will be limited to the weather. At worst, your truth-telling on some subjects will lead you to being asked to leave the country for good by some somber looking people.

6 If you feel uninhibited, do not blow your horn to encourage the pack of Hells Angles to get out of your way. If you do at best, they might move over to let you pass. At worst, you will find yourself on the back of a Harley Softail hanging on to Moose for dear life with a next stop in Sturgis. Oh and your car is in several members saddlebags. They promise they will put it back together after the rally.

5 If you feel uninhibited, do not tell the checkout person about all the things you couldn’t find today. (Even if asked) If you do, at best you will realize no one cares about what you couldn’t find. At worst, the checkout person will call the manager with the words “whining customer on register four.” Those behind you will be calling for a horse and rope.

4 If you feel uninhibited, do not take the survey you are offered during your call to customer service of the electric company to report that your power has been off for four hours. If you do, at best you will not see your power for three days. At worst, your survey will be handed to the uncooperative employee and includes your home address, phone number and hours when your electricity usage is lowest. You will wonder what that black car is doing across the street every night. (Hint, leave town)

3 If you feel uninhibited do not answer the question “where would you like to go for dinner?” If you do, at best you will resent the fact you had to decide the rest of the night. At worst, you will go into a rant about why you always have to decide everything. You will ask “why just this once can’t you make a $#@*&% decision.” The result will be carry out and silence at dinner.

2 If you feel uninhibited and someone from management asks what you think should be done to improve the workplace, do not follow your instinct to tell everyone what you think. If you do, at best your coworkers will endeavor to move away from you. At worst, you will in the course of two minutes of meaningful suggestions render yourself a pariah and perfect candidate for that assignment in Iraq.

1 If you feel uninhibited, do not visit any store with merchandise priced any higher than a dollar. If you do, At best you will snap out of it in time. At worst, you will finally be stopped by the credit card security group who honestly believe your card has been stolen since you limit was reached in only two stops and one was a diamond store.

38 comments

  1. I always thought wear your undies to work was a great idea John…..though on my head was about as adventurous as I could muster…

    1. LOL. That would be a sight. Thanks for the laugh Michael.

  2. Let’s face it. If one is this uninhibited, it might be safest to stay home.

    1. In bed as well.

      1. Preferably. We should all take a random day to stay in bed. Sleeping is optional.

  3. Great list, John! #2 is one I struggle with even when I’m not feeling uninhibited (how often do I want to say morale won’t improve until the flogging stops but don’t …) Happy Monday!

    1. I spent a few years under the cat o’ nine on the oar so I understand. Happy Monday. (hummm Oxymoron)

  4. Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
    Do you sometimes feel uninhibited and just (for once) want to act on that freeing, expansive feeling? Well, better read this list of ten things not to do if you’re in that mode, otherwise it may be the last time you act on your lack of inhibition. Courtesy of John Howell!

    1. Thank you Marie. You are so nice. *hug*

      1. I do it for the hugs 😉

  5. These are great, John! I’ll definitely remember #6.

  6. This was a particularly good one John.

    1. Glad you liked it. Thanks for letting me know.

  7. Hahaha! I just go to the Cove where I can get away with just about anything 🙂

  8. I’m rolling on the floor, John. This is too much for me on a Monday. People wearing underwear and coats on the subway is too much for my poor eyes–and I haven’t even cleaned my glasses yet. 😛 😛 😛

    1. Think of them in tennis shorts

      1. Somehow…nope. Can’t do it. 😀 :-D- 😀

    2. Tess… just be glad they were wearing the underwear… 😈

      1. Exactly!
        Sorry, my one suit went to the cleaners and they lost it. 😀 😀 😀

  9. John, that just made Monday marvelous. Well, okay … but it sure helped!
    I guess living on the beach, you’ve witnessed too many inhibitions in the process of being lost.
    Hugs!

    1. I woulds say i have seen a number of inhibitions set free. I of course and always under control. *cough*

      1. Oh… i never doubted you. 😉

  10. Great list, John, and a real Monday-brightener — thanks!

    1. Glad you liked it.

  11. You’re a clever man, John…

  12. Hey John, I will remember #5, it was especially funny! Nice work.

    1. Thank you so much. Glad you liked it.

      1. You are welcome.

  13. Watching speed limit signs around my area is a must …. so hopefully I won’t become uninhibited … well, at least regarding speed limit signs.

    1. When the officer pulls you over and asks, “any idea why I pulled you over?” You can simply ask, “Free inhibitions?” Knowing Cinci police and their great sense of humor he’ll probably let you go.

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