Top Ten Things Not to do on a Sunday

The inspiration for this list came from spending over 3800 Sundays so far and not making the best decisions always on how to spend the day. Now that this is Monday maybe there is enough time to plan for next week. Hope you enjoy it.

a Monday

Top Ten Things Not to do on a Sunday

10 On a Sunday, do not clean out the garage. If you do, at best you will only rearrange the junk since trash day is at the end of the week. At worst, you will find several long-lost repair projects that you totally forgot to finish.(Hiding them again may not be practicable)

9 On a Sunday, do not use a leaf blower. If you do, at best your neighbors will call upon the Almighty to forgive you. At worst, the person next door who you thought was a minister turns out to be a coven leader and has drawn a funny symbol on your front lawn. (You begin to notice the hair on the back of your hands getting thicker)

8 On a Sunday, do not pack up the family for a drive in the country. If you do, at best you will be carting several sullen children with you. At worst, you will be sitting in traffic for hours. (And you have yet to enter the freeway.)

7 On a Sunday, do not go to the grocery store. If you do, at best you’ll be wondering why all these people can’t shop during the week while you are working. At worst, you will make a comment to someone named Brutus who just happens to be unemployed and who decides you need a lesson in manners.(You notice his fist is the size of your head just as the lights go out.)

6 On a Sunday, do not think you can go to the park for a picnic at the last-minute. If you do, at best you will enjoy your lunch in the car. At worst, you will try to sneak a spot next to the Smith Family Reunion sign only to discover the Smiths have their own Hell’s Angles chapter. (And your Ralph Lauren cap is now part of a keep away game.)

5 On a Sunday, do not think you can check out with a six-pack of beer before the lawful time. If you do, at best you will win a bunch of friends as the line comes to a halt waiting for the manager to void the sale. At worst, the loudspeaker announcement of “Alcohol violation on register seven,” will have the entire store in stitches knowing by looking at you that you aren’t trying to pass a fake ID. (But are just plain dumb)

4 On a Sunday, do not go any distance without checking to see if your destination is open. If you do, at best you will have given the family a ride in the country. At worst, you will have a full mutiny on your hands that will take some ice cream volleys to quell. (Not to mention the loss of leadership respect.)

3 On a Sunday do attempt to take a nap before you check with everyone to see if they need anything. If you do, at best everyone will need something. At worst they will need something, and you are the only person who knows the location of the something. ( The request will come in one at a time.)

2 On a Sunday, do not invite the whole family to your house for pot luck dinner. If you do, at best a few will pass and there will be enough to go around. At worst, all will attend, and most will have forgotten to bring anything other than an enormous appetite. (Not to mention a 102-degree temperature and runny noses.)

1 On a Sunday, do not try an experimental recipe that you found in the Sunday supplement. If you do, at best you will be substituting some ingredients that you did not have on hand to mixed results. At worst, the mixed results were manifest in several of your household members rushing quickly from the table. (With the sound of large quantities of running water covering a number of  noises)

43 comments

  1. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

    So… on Sunday, maybe just rest? Sounds good to me. 😀
    Another great list of what not to do, John. And the one about the potluck — that’s spot-on! LOL. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Yes. Sunday rest. Good idea. (I avoid potluck like the plague which I’m sure I’ll catch if I don’t.) 🙂

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      1. Teagan Riordain Geneviene's avatar

        LOL. Then by all means stay away. I used to love to host small potluck dinners at my house in NM. Just half a dozen friends — not family 😉 I vote for avoiding family potlucks. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          There you go,

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  2. Keith Edgar Channing's avatar

    Wise words indeed. You clearly aren’t in the middle of rural France, John. Five and seven are not possible, because everywhere is shut (many shops are on Monday, too). That makes four even more important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I think if I were in the middle of rural France I would have one about cutting hay on a Sunday. Of course, that would leave two others to create. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    Then do nothing on Sunday. Got it. Probably best to do that on Saturday too. Just to be safe. What’s lawful time for beer?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Maybe work Friday into the scheme as well.

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      1. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

        But then Thursday will feel left out.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Work it in as well.

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        2. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

          That leaves us with Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday . . . Poor, Hump Day.

          Liked by 1 person

        3. John W. Howell's avatar

          If we pull in Monday a two day week might be manageable.

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        4. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

          Definitely. People would certainly be happier.

          Liked by 1 person

        5. John W. Howell's avatar

          Then we would bitch about Tuesday

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        6. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

          It had it coming. All smug and cocky.

          Liked by 1 person

        7. John W. Howell's avatar

          As if it is a Wednesday

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  4. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    Great advice…just rest on Sunday. Sounds good to me, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      If you can do it. Have a great week

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marie A Bailey's avatar

    Well, this list definitely covers all the reasons why we keep a low profile on Sundays 🙂 But, yeah, the worst thing about Sunday is that Monday follows …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      So true. Monday should be put off until Tuesday.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dan Antion's avatar

    I was worried John. I’ve done numbers 10 and 9. I thought I might have to turn myself in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Never fear we’ll come find you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Traci Sanders's avatar

    Oops, I broke #7 and #8 LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      You get a pass on the first offense. 🙂

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  8. Frank @ Beach Walk Reflections's avatar

    Rationale for #1 is that the recipe may require going to the grocery – see #7.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. L. Marie's avatar

    I’ve experienced 4, 7, and 8 enough times to shudder. 🙂 Yet I still go to the grocery store on Sundays. At my grocery store, at least they provide cake samples!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Whoa. Cake samples. We call cake samples Medicare bait.

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  10. Debbie's avatar

    Great list, John. Might I add, Do not suddenly decide to tackle 18 holes of golf (or a half-marathon or several sets of tennis) if you’re not accustomed to doing the same. All you can hope for then are tired, achy muscles — and perhaps a lovely case of sunburn!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Or a visit from the defribillator man

      Liked by 1 person

  11. The Coastal Crone's avatar

    What a fun list – too funny! Sundays are rather hard to get through at times since I have given up going to church on Sundays. Yesterday afternoon Husband and I went to CC to see “Real Women Have Curves” at the Aurora Arts Theater. Fun show!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Sounds like fun.

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  12. macjam47's avatar

    On Sunday do not plan to sleep in because at best, you will be lulled into a deeper sleep by the rain on the roof. At worst, the neighbor will decide , once again, to mow his lawn before church.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. macjam47's avatar

        Not if that noisy lawnmower is ten feet from your bedroom window! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          I have a neighbor who fires up his lawnmower at 7;00 Sunday night. Right during the dinner hour. Idiot!

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Andra Watkins's avatar

    I rode a bus all day yesterday. And planes. Gosh, I need another Sunday. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I’ll bet you do.

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  14. olganm's avatar

    Although I live alone I’ve lived quite a few of these things with friends and their families, so yes, rest sounds good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Yes, it does, Thanks for the visit

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  15. kimwrtr's avatar

    Reblogged this on Kim's Author Support Page and commented:
    LOL!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thanks for the reblog Kim.

      Like