The inspiration for this list is last week’s volatility in the price of stocks. Although I was tempted to do almost all of them I refrained and kept myself under control. Hopefully, I will keep the list handy for the next time since I have a feeling there will be many more thrill rides this year.
Top Ten Things Not to do When the Stock Market Goes Nuts.
10 When the stock market takes a dive, do not go near an open window. If you do, at best you will think about jumping out. At worst, you will take a jump and then realize the window is on the ground floor. (Pretty embarrassing dropping thirty-six inches)
9 When the stock market takes a dive, do not call your broker. If you do, at best they will talk you into calming down. At worst, you will be calm as you lose 20% of your 401K. (Now don’t you feel better for the call?)
8 When the stock market takes a dive, do not panic. If you do, at best you will embarrass yourself in front of co-workers and family. At worst, you will need to seek a specialist on hair replacement when the panic is over. (That bare spot on the side definitely needs attention)
7 When the stock market takes a dive, do not sell anything. If you do, at best you will feel in control but poorer. At worst, you will incur losses that will take years to replace and now you waited too long to get back in, and the prices are already too high. (I know it’s complicated)
6 When the stock market takes a dive, do not listen to the advice of the analysts. If you do, at best you will make a sudden move, and you will be already too late to save money. At worst, you will listen to the wrong analysis and do the opposite of the right thing. (After all no two analysts have the same advice)
5 When the stock market takes a dive, do not let others know how bad things look. If you do, at best you will have to deal with their concerns and advice as well as the problem of lost value. At worst, you will be compelled to make an unwarranted move to convince others you are in control. (This is true if you are the custodian of others funds)
4 When the stock market takes a dive, do not check your accounts. If you do, at best you will be tempted to make a sudden ill-advised move. At worst, you will focus on the negative reports to the point where you will need shock therapy to make a comeback. (Negative reports are not valuable in the current situation.)
3 When the stock market takes a dive, do not read the financial news. If you do, At best you will be convinced the world is coming to an end. At worst, you will need to have a cardiologist on speed dial to handle your recurring symptoms of heart failure. (Makes you want to be a trained EMS tech so you could self-administer defibrillation. You can handle those paddles yourself right?)
2 When the stock market takes a dive, do not go into the local pub. If you do, at best the problem will still be there tomorrow along with that gigantic throbbing head sharing your bed. At worst, you will get it into your mind to have it out once and for all with the stock seller person and the police intercept you before you get to where they live. (Don’t worry about the DUI. As bad, as it is it’s easier to handle than what you were thinking about doing last night.)
1 When the stock market takes a dive, do not forget why you invested in stocks in the first place. If you do, at best you neglect your long-range financial goals. At worst, you will put all your money into a box under the bed with the possibility that it will be worth much less in the future or a burglar will find it. (Not to mention you arguing with the firefighters about getting back into your burning house.)