Ten Things Not to do If You Don’t Normally Shop for Whatever You are Buying

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This list was inspired by having to fill in on a few occasions when it was necessary for me to venture into places where I’ve never been. These examples are not necessarily places where you’ve never been they are just the places where you are not normally found buying things.

 

Ten Things Not to do If You Don’t Normally Shop for Whatever You are Buying.

10 If you don’t normally buy birthday cakes, do not take it upon yourself to alter the instructions you have been given. If you do, at best those colors that looked so good in the store clash with the birthday party decorations. At worst, that nickname you think is so cute was not to be shared with anyone outside the house and now 25 of your child’s friends have a brand new torture vehicle. (Don’t worry the name will eventually die out in twenty of thirty years.)

9 If you don’t normally buy tires, do not listen to the guy wanting to sell four of the $300 super slick Michelin. If you do, at best, you will now have 60,000 miles of wear guarantee. At worst, your car has about 30,000 more miles in it before it dies. (The tires sure look good as the tow truck pulls it away.)

8 If you don’t normally buy power tools, do not pick up the first thing on sale. If you do, at best the tool might be on sale for a reason. At worst, the money you saved on the tool will be more than offset by the cost of the repair contractor. (You were sure the saw would work long enough to finish the project weren’t you.)

7 If you don’t normally buy toys for Christmas, do not buy anything, not on the list. If you do, At best you may set the record for the most gifts bought for any Christmas. At worst, your preschool kids might be too young for the mini drone and Xbox games they find under the tree. (At least they will have fun with the boxes.)

6 If you don’t normally buy the vacation airline tickets, do not think those add-ons are a bargain. If you do, at best you will find you did not need that extra pillow or rancid can of nuts. At worst, you may find you may have the distinction of paying the most to go the shortest distance.(You must wonder why the airline keeps sending you letters asking when you will book your next trip.)

5 If you don’t normally buy appliances, do not go alone to buy anything in the appliance category. If you do, at best you may have to pay a restocking fee for its return. At worst, you will have something in your house that no one will use. (And it is right in the hallway where you run into it every night.)

4 If you don’t normally buy automobiles alone, do not say yes to that yellow sports convertible. If you do, at best you will be broadcasting a midlife crisis. At worst, you may find it too cramped for comfortable sleeping quarters. (And now the yard starts to look good.)

3 If you don’t normally buy clothing alone, don’t grab that suit simply because you saw it in an ad. If you do, at best the tailor just might be able to adjust some of the youthful features. At worst, you will be obvious in your choice of clothes that will not be age appropriate. (To the delight of co-workers and passers-by.)

2 If you don’t normally buy wine, do not make a selection based on either high or low price. If you do, at best you will pay more for a good wine than necessary. At worst, your low-priced selection might be good for bumper rust removal but not drinking. (Lucky you grabbing a bottle on your way to the boss’s house.)

1 If you don’t normally buy snacks for the football game, do not buy what you think will be good for the people watching football. At best, you will have a lot of untouched snacks. At worst, you may end up watching the game by yourself and your pet rabbit. (Of course it is not logical but that’s football.)

15 comments

  1. I learned numbers 8 and 6 the hard way John. Where were you 40 years ago?

    1. Going through a midlife crisis. I wouldn’t have been much help then. 🙂

  2. Broccoli is always a hit at Vikings games. The fans are so depressed that they will eat anything.

    1. Ha ha ha. Bless ’em

  3. Lists are a great thing as long as you follow them. Especially with food for other people because it’s annoying to hear ‘I know you said you wanted whole milk, but I think this almond milk would be a lot healthier’. Also, what is it with people asking what your kid wants for a holiday or birthday and then finding a cheap equivalent or do something else entirely?

    1. You got to the nerve points. I so agree with you.

  4. Yes, that would be me, running into the appliance every night. Great list, John!

    1. Me too.Ugh there it is again.

  5. John, I love the bunny pushing the shopping cart photo!! Great list, too, especially numbers two and one. Why do we automatically assume the higher-priced wine is the best choice?!?

    1. My wife who used to work for a winery and is responsible for developing what was once the top selling chardonnay in the US, has us on a quest for the best wine at the lowest cost. We seldom pay over $7.00 for a bottle. (usually gifts we have to go higher cause others don’t understand.)

      1. That’s so true, John. What a neat fact about your wife!!

      2. >3 >3 🙂

  6. As always an entertaining, knee-slapping list. I don’t buy anything anymore. I have replacing, breaking in new things. 😀 😀 😀

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