Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Moving

 

 

The inspiration for this list is our youngest is moving from an efficiency apartment to a one bedroom. Although her move gave me the idea I’m happy to say she is not guilty of any of the items on this list.

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Moving

10 If you are moving, do not wait until the movers show up to begin thinking of what you want to pack. If you do, at best you will have a lot of hourly overtime to pay. At worst, your crew is likely to leave to move someone else and suggest you get organized in the meantime. (A little embarrassing to be left alone in the middle of a mess isn’t it?)

9 If you are moving, do not pack your crystal pieces with your hand weights. At best, you might get some chips. At worst, you will arrive at the new place with a box of crystal snow. Β (You were going to take the weights out but forgot huh Bunky?)

8 If you are moving, do not forget to put your frozen food in a safe but frigid place. If you do forget, at best you will have a bunch of thawed food on arrival. At worst, the thawing food will be in a place to drip through at least six boxes of your clothes. (Those white things look beautiful with that pot roastΒ branding.)

7 If you are moving, do not be tempted to throw out your old pots and pans just cause you are tired of them. If you are, at best you will need to replace everything before you can eat at home again. At worst, you didn’t realize the cookware was a precious gift from your parents, and now they are going through the dumpster. (How were you to know that was their first set?)

6 If you are moving, do not try to save and pack that delicious casserole you had last night. If you do, at best it will be spoiled during the trip, and you’ll know it. At worst, you will ignore the signs of spoilage and dig in. (Those sirens you now hear is EMS. Gotta hope they get there in time)

5 If you are moving, do not think you and your friends have to consume all the liquor the night before the move. If you do, at best your headache, chills, and nausea will be gone around 3:00 pm. At worst, you will not only be sick but will have to deal with five or six comatose friends. (Pretty hard to carry that dresser over all those bodies isn’t it Buster?)

4 If you are moving, do not tell the movers to put stuff “anywhere.” If you do, at best you will have a living room that looks like a bedroom. At worst, you will have one room filled with furniture.(It’s the first room you enter right?)

3 If you are moving, do not think your boxes don’t need marking because you remember what’s in each one. If you do, at best you will be opening boxes and searching for things for a week. At worst, you will finally give up and stack all the boxes in such a way as to imitate the world’s worst hoarder. (Pretty tough for the sunlight to get in through all those boxes. You say you feel like a rat in a maze?)

2 If you are moving, do not forget to fill out the forwarding cards for your new address. If you forget, at best you will wonder where your mail went after three months. At worst, you will begin to wonder about all those phone calls regarding your lights, water, cable, and telephone. (That is until they all go dark. Now a rat in a dark and lonely maze.)

1 If you are moving, do not have friends help. If you do, at best there will be only a few dented, scratched, and broken items. At worst you realize no one knows how to dismantle your bed and couch and you are forced to leave them behind. (How in the hell did those items get into the apartment in the first place?)

45 comments

  1. The caption in the picture made me think of our snow-birds that come and go every year. They don’t put things in boxes necessarily, but there is a process they go through to seal up their place, ship the car, mail transfer, newspaper delivery, etc., etc.

    1. We have the same here in South Texas. I certainly wouldn’t want to do all that packing. Thanks, GP.

  2. Reminds me of when I moved from one apartment to another in the same complex. Wife was 7 or 8 months pregnant, so I had to go against #1. It went semi-smoothly until the crib had to get moved in pieces. Bang, clang, bump, drop, and crash on one piece. The person responsible settled for organizing the new apartment under the directions of the wife after that.

    1. Could you give us a hint as to who that person was? Initials Charles Yallowitz?

      1. Nope. I was careful with everything. The person shall remain nameless though.

  3. Hilarious, John. The time we moved from the U.S. to India we made some terrible mistakes. The flat we thought would be available, one my husband owned, wasn’t because the relative wasn’t ready to move out. We had to store our things in a house in the mountains. The mice got in and ate into the boxes (they love glue). I’d moved cleaning products in plastic bottles the mice chewed, and those seeped through onto my stainless steel removing the finish on many of the pieces. The mice ate parts of the binding on many of my books. The boys who moved the stuff broke the leg off one of my cedar chests. Not an auspicious beginning for life in India.:( — Suzanne

    1. That sounds like a nightmare for sure. Thanks for sharing. Why do I feel there is a mouse near me now? πŸ˜€

  4. Moving is always a tense time. We moved our office years ago. It’s even worse. Moving cubicles is still a nightmare.

    1. I know right. Such a pain. A transporter would be so welcome.

  5. Great list, John! I’ve had to move a few times in my life (and may move at least once more) and it’s always a shock how much needs to be done. And I hate packing πŸ˜‰

    1. OOOh. I’m with you. At least in the unpacking it’s like surprise time as you do it. Thanks, Marie.

      1. While I hate moving from one office to another, I do appreciate the opportunity to get rid of inherited old, disorganized files πŸ˜‰

      2. Yes. I used to leave them in boxes for the pick up crew.

  6. Great list John! I moved many times, including coast-to-coast twice, before buying our house. Now I’m pretty sure I’ll never move again (unless someone is carrying me and the furniture). Our daughter has moved, a bunch of times. She hasn’t made too many of these mistakes. Then again, she doesn’t own any crystal πŸ™‚

    1. Ha ha ha. She should wait until she’s a grandma before getting any crystal. Thanks, Dan.

  7. Oh my … reminds me of the stress involved in moving two years ago … what an ordeal … but at least I laughed here.

    1. Yes. I have moved about 15 times. I know it cost me years.

  8. This is great, John! I loved #5, but I thought that was the way you get your friends to agree to help with the move. Love the comic!

    1. Yes but they need to be controlled. Lately I have been wondering if you will like the meme. Glad you do. πŸ™‚

      1. LOL! I love your memes, John!

    2. That’s why you don’t want friends helping.

  9. Ugh!!! – NEVER doing that again, thank goodness! I’m knocking down walls and sculpting the place around me from now on! πŸ˜€

    1. Ha ha ha. Good for you. Thanks.

  10. Been there, done that, John — both for me and for Domer. Number 3 is especially pertinent, as poor Domer lived for way longer than one week wondering where he’d packed things after a move. Going through ALL the boxes every time you need something is a huge pain!

    1. Yes it is. Thanks Debbie.

  11. Bee Halton · ·

    I’ll remember these next month. We are still waiting for a date to move however, my friends were always good with helping me move πŸ™‚

    1. Just don’t let them drink too much

      1. Bee Halton · ·

        πŸ™‚ I will πŸ™‚

  12. All practical advice for moving! We haven’t moved in 39 years but if we ever do again we will need #3 and will definitely have professional movers. Raining here this afternoon and it is probably moving your way if not already over your way.

    1. A good rain for sure.

  13. 11. Do not hire a removal firm who have to stop overnight, 150 miles from your new home, because the entire exhaust system has fallen off their truck, resulting in them having to call a replacement truck and reload all your belongings, (in reverse order) so that when your possessions finally do arrive, most of the breakable stuff is broken and all the carefully packed houseplants have frozen to death from sitting at a truck-stop all night.

    (in case you hadn’t already guessed, this happened to me)

    1. I guessed. How about this one. Do not let the movers take 150 bottles of wine (even though they assure me they would be fine) from California to Texas and then have a breakdown and not move the truck for five days in 106 degree heat. Yeah you guess it. All spoiled.

  14. This is why I’ll die in the house I currently live in…

  15. I sure wish I could put this list to good use, John. Have a terrific Tuesday! Hugs.

  16. Yes, always provide the beer and snacks after moving the couch. πŸ™‚

  17. Do research your moving company. The athletic director at our sons’ school hired a local moving company for a relatively short move. The police stopped the truck on the interstate and arrested all of the movers, leaving the truck full of furniture and household goods on the highway.

    1. Ha ha ha. This is priceless. πŸ˜€

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