Top Ten Things Not to Do During the Olympics

Olympic Rings

 

Now that the Olympics are underway, I think it is a good idea to lay out a few suggestions on things not to do. Hopefully this list will save a reputation or two.

10 During the Olympics do not keep asking how many medals the US has won. If you do, at best you will have missed the idea of the competition. At worst, you just might get a suggestion that you would be better off at a horse race where winning is everything. (Did you not drink the one world cool-aid Bunkie)

9 During the Olympics do not insist that your interest in watching sand volleyball is purely for the artistic nature of the sport. At best, you’ll come off as someone not in touch with themselves. At worst, you be seen as a perv. (How did you miss that winning point Bud?)

8 During the Olympics do not stay up until all hours waiting for the final match. If you do, at best you won’t care who wins when the finals eventually are underway. At worst, you’ll fall asleep and miss the action. (You know there is such a thing as a recorded replay right?)

7 During the Olympics, do not insist on watching the boxing matches while visiting friends. If you do, at best they will think you lack social grace. At worst, your friends will start to question your motive. (“You would rather watch that stuff than talk to us?” is a question going through their mind right now.)

6 During the Olympics, do not insist on having meals in front of the TV. If you do, your family will become very worried about you. At worst, you might be the recipient of an interdiction by Olympic Watchers Anonymous. (You just didn’t know when that old Olympic habit moved into addiction did you fella?)

5 During the Olympics, do not buy or wear anything with the Olympic logo on it. if you do, at best you’ll own something that marks you as a little odd. At worst, once the event is over, you’ll have four more years before you can put it on again. (Will your stomach be in the same place four years from now Ferd?)

4 During the Olympics, do not put a country flag on your face. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you are from out-of-town and weird. At worst, your attempt to look cute while supporting your country will be viewed as a desperate act to gain recognition. (After all, there is no Jumbotron on your block)

3 During the Olympics, do not buy soft drinks or beer in a commemorative can or bottle. If you do, at best you’ll get some funny looks at the next social gathering. At worst, everyone will know how old your drinks are when you try to pass them off next summer. (Those big sales you expected on eBay never came through did they?)

2 During the Olympics, do not organize an Olympic party. If you do, at best the only attendees are all those folks you don’t like in the first place. At worst, you’ll have everything set up and realize you picked the night of the least favorite event. (Those appetizers and burgers will freeze well. Don’t you worry. Now the potato salad is another matter)

1 During the Olympics, do not demand that everyone in your house be quiet during the diving competition. If you do, at best you will confirm your lack of a grip on reality. At worst, the family will call in a professional to assist them in your recovery. (Yes, it’s true the divers can’t hear you from your home)

37 comments

  1. I’ve never understood #1. The athletes are on the TV and the announcers aren’t saying anything important. Talking should be okay. This seems to happen a lot when people are watching televised golf too.

    1. Watching televised golf in itself should be banned.

      1. I’m sure there’s some use for it. Calming hyperactive children?

  2. Olivia Stocum · ·

    Haha! #3 is great, especially when they start popping up at Big Lots and Oilie’s. (Do you have those where you live?)

    1. The nearest Big Lots is 30 miles away. Lilies? No. We hardly ever go that way and haven’t visited the Big Lots yet. Thanks ,Olivia. šŸ™‚

  3. My interest in the Olympics has been waning over the years, but this is a good list, just in case it starts to grow stronger again. I’ve been shushed while watching the Olympics, by a person with a loose grip on reality.

    1. Shushed? OMG as if one needs to hear anything. Ha ha ha. šŸ˜€

  4. Don’t want to be seen as a ‘perv.’ Good one, John! Usually I prefer the Winter Olympics, but I’ve been enjoying the summer games.Happy Monday!

    1. Perfect, Jill. Have a great week! šŸ™‚

  5. Fun list John. I’m still making a mental list of the Olympic pervs I’ve had the displeasure to know. LOL. I’ll send them your list as a training guide. šŸ˜‰
    Have a marvelous Monday. Mega hugs!

    1. Magnificent Monday to you, Teagan. You’ll be doing the pervs a service. šŸ˜€

  6. I’m waiting for them to show more of the oddball sports. I got to see some archery and fencing this weekend though, so it’s a small fix.

    1. Oddball is good.

      1. Yes. Speaking of odd I had a Rodeo Clown over the weekend

      2. An actual visitor? It could be a Rodeo Clown IPA for all I know. We met several over the years living in Nevada.

      3. It is an IPA (double) by Karbach brewery

      4. I thought so. I’ve hung out with real rodeo clowns. They really aren’t very clown like in person.

      5. I can imagine. I think that is why the brewer named it the way he did.

  7. There are no actual superheroes in the Olympics, so…

    1. I know how it is. šŸ™‚

  8. It takes a special kind of person to train for YEARS, doing the same thing over and over, all for less than a minute’s competition. And, perhaps fifteen minutes of fame. Good list, John — especially #5.

    1. Thanks, Debbie. šŸ™‚

  9. Gee… I was looking forward to painting my face with a red maple leaf… you’re a party pooper, my good friend!

    1. I did you a favor

  10. I may never watch the Olympics the same way again. Smiles.

    1. Ha ha ha. šŸ˜€

  11. Great list, John. I’m beginning to realize how many, many addictions there are. I didn’t think of the Olympics as on the list. šŸ™‚ — Suzanne

    1. Yeah. For some. Thanks, Suzanne

  12. This is that “sport” thing again, isn’t it?

    1. Just to drive you nuts.

  13. Great list, John. Enjoy watching.

    1. Thanks, Michelle.

  14. 11. Do not focus solely on the athletes from the US. There are a LOT of great athletes from other countries, too!

    1. I agree Richard. Thanks.

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