Top Ten Things Not to Do When Moving

~ John W. Howell

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

The inspiration for this piece was the arrival of a new couch and the accompanied rearranging of furniture. Since moving households is something almost everyone faces, I thought it would be fun to recap some things we should avoid doing should a move be necessary. I hope you enjoy the list.

10 If you are moving, do not attempt it alone. If you do, at best it may take longer than expected. At worst, you could get caught under that heavy dresser and be missing for weeks. (Gotta hope the new tenants will figure out where those screams are coming from hey, Buster?)

9 If you are moving, do not forget to tip the movers. If you do, at best that last carton will stay on the truck. At worst, the big guy named Tiny, the WWF champ, will be asking questions about the quality of service. (You are hoping he puts you down gently, right Buford?)

8 If you are moving, do not think the movers will understand your attachment to grandma’s hand me down table. If you do, at best that scratch can be covered up. At worst, you will be able to start your first fire with what is left. (Seems like you should have mentioned how fragile it was, Boswell)

7 If you are moving, do not pack the boxes yourself. If you do, at best there will be a few items broken. At worst, that tinkling noise when you pick up the box marked “crystal,” will not be a welcome sound. (Looks like the savings on the cost of packing has gone into the red, Boris.)

6 If you are moving, do not mark the boxes with your own code. If you do, at best you’ll remember most of the code. At worst, in the rush of the move, you will forget what you meant and take a guess as to where things should go. (Nice to have all your pots and pans in the garage, isn’t it, Bosco?)

5 If you are moving, do not leave the old house without checking to see that everything is out. If you do, at best you’ll leave behind things that don’t matter. At worst, you’ll wonder what happened to the washer and dryer in transit. (Of course, the movers thought they stayed with the house, Basil.)

4 If you are moving, do not forget to change the water, gas, and electric bill. If you do, at best it might take you a day or two to remember. At worst, you receive a bill that is ten times your usual usage. (The new people decided they like the air conditioning set at 70 degrees, and the lawn watered every day. Guess you should have paid attention, Bentley.)

3 If you are moving, do not think your new neighbors need to give you cookies. If you do, at best you might be disappointed. At worst, as you mention the oversight you learn the previous residents were running a crack house.  (Looks like it might be a couple of years before anyone trusts you, Bubba.)

2 If you are moving, do not think the movers will place everything as you have it labeled. If you do, at best you may find some things in unusual places. At worst, you realize after they are gone that your master bedroom furniture is on the patio.(And guess what furniture is in the master bedroom, Burt?)

1 If you are moving, do not think you can challenge your partner on the layout of each room. If you do, at best you are in for a long day. At worst, combined with the stress of moving your input might be enough to win you an overnight accommodation in the back yard. ( You could have said something when the plans were drawn up, huh Butch?)

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

65 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do When Moving”

  1. Morning chuckles are definitely the best way to begin the day. Thank you! 🙂 Having moved a number of times, a few of your “top ten” were a little too close to home…

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  2. Ha ha ha!😄 cute post John! I have one to add to that too… be very careful of idol chit chat with the new neighbors! I once moved into an apartment and the nice man upstairs offered to help me unload boxes out of my car as I was single, broke and had to move stuff without movers. During our chit chat he began discussing awful ex bosses… I told him about the hideous woman I used to work with that would be messing around with this guy on the 2nd floor of our office building and how awful I’d feel when her husband would call!…he then looked at me and said her name wasn’t (here I’ll call her Donna for privacy sake)Donna was it? ! Yep, insert foot into mouth! That was her now ex husband!

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      1. Yeah, after the Christmas 2016 fiasco, where all my kids got sick for a month, we’re all for No Outside Anything.

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  11. Good morning, John,
    Our moving from Karnes City to Fredericksburg took us quite some time. We bought the house here in September 2013, but – as we had planned a holiday in Germany before that – rented it back for another month to the previous owners. Only after our return from Germany did we start to move things, mostly on our own. Later, in the spring of 2014, we had movers do the bulk of our furniture. And even after that there were some pieces left in Karnes City which we brought here later.
    Guess what we consider the day we finally moved in here: the day we brought our kitties! 😉 That’s April 1, 2014.
    Have a wonderful day,
    Pit

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  15. One good thing about moving is it forces you to get rid of a lot of junk you’ve accumulated over the years. And when you see your old stuff in new surroundings, you wonder why you bothered to move most of it at all. Great list, John.

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  18. Ha, ha. Wow what service, John. Tiny moves the mover. I doubt he’ll appreciate the fragility of the guy’s frame though. He’ll probably act like he’s driving a nail into a board. Time to run and hide. Last time we moved the movers tore a hole in the couch and broke the leg on a cedar chest. On another move, my class ring I’d had for almost forty years came up missing. Some moving companies are great, others not so much. —- Suzanne

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    1. I remember one time the van broke down. Sat in the Texas sun for two days. Anything that could melt did. Took out four cases of wine as well. Those guys showed up around 11:00. Told them to come back in the morning.

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