Top Ten Things Not to Ask a Genius

~ John W. Howell

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

The inspiration for this post came after pondering a discussion with a brilliant person.  I just wondered what it would be like to be that smart. One thing led to another, and the list was born.

10 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them how it feels to be so smart. If you do, at best you’ll get a laugh. At worst, you’ll be forcibly engaged in a Socratic analysis on what “smart” means. (Getting tired after a couple of hours are you, Dante?)

9 If you are talking to a genius, do not mention the weather. If you do, at best they’ll excuse themselves. At worst, you’ll be entertained by a recap of the correlation between black hole proximity and global warming. (You didn’t know that was the subject of the person’s doctoral dissertation did you, Deon?)

8 If you are talking to a genius, do not make any sudden moves. If you do, at best you’ll get a flinch. At worst, your genius will have Tiny the WWF champ as a best friend. (Tiny moves fast when he thinks there is a danger, Demetri. I think I would begin testing those Rockport shoes and see if they are a flexible as advertised.)

7 If you are talking to a genius, do not comment on their clothes. If you do, at best they won’t understand what you are saying. At worst, they will provide you the existential theory behind their choice of what to wear today. (Not only did it take two hours, but you still don’t understand how the stripes and checks go together relative to the world politic do you, Dixon?)

6 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them what they want to eat. If you do, at best you will get an “anything,” response. At worst you will be taken down a probiotics path from which there is no return. (You’ll never look at a steak the same way again, Dacy.)

5 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask them about their favorite sport. If you do, at best they’ll  defer to asking you. At worst, after an hour you finally realize they are talking about a game that was played in ancient Macedonia. (The sad part is their team lost, and you now have a complete commentary on how the other team cheated with a deflated goat bladder and poisoned arrows.  Some fun huh, Daelan?)

4 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask what they watch on television. If you do, at best you’ll have to define the term “television.” At worst, you will be treated to watching the Nature Blog live feed of baby ants who were cloned from a prehistoric frozen egg hatching as viewed on an iPad. (Really glad you asked that one, aren’t you, Dagan? Wait! Is that an anteater?)

3 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask if they have a hobby. If you do, at best they’ll be too shy to share. At worst, before you know it you are hooked up to a worldwide XBox War of the World gaming competition. (So how many lives do you have left, Daileass? I think you better swing that broadsword at everything you see. Given the intensity of this game I have a feeling that once your lives are finished, you are too.)

2 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask if they belong to a club. If you do, at best you’ll get a stare before they walk away. At worst, you will have to defend the idea of having a high affiliation need as it relates to your own insecurities. (Makes you want to go to a cabin in the mountains doesn’t it, Daire? Then you can prove you are not intellectually weak and as a result, don’t need anyone.)

1 If you are talking to a genius, do not ask what they do for a living. If you do, at best you’ll get a one-word answer, “work.” At worst, you will have a detailed description of the job but will not understand what it is in a hundred years. (Did you get the opinion that they were speaking in a different language, Dalbert? What the hell is a Spectrographic Survey Specialist anyway?)

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

72 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Ask a Genius”

  7. The teachers in some public schools are so stressed these days they don’t like questions. I told my daughter that’s what the teacher was there for. She liked the chemistry class where the teacher blew things up with small explosions to keep their attention. (It was well before the bombs being set off these days.) It worked. One teacher had a softball bat he brought down on a desk to wake up sleeping students. My son had fallen asleep. My daughter thought it was hilarious but I didn’t. My husband and I asked the principal to arrange a meeting with us and the teacher in his office. My point was we were trying to avoid violence around children and a student could have a heart condition that couldn’t take a loud noise to wake him up. Another time we went over there when my son forgot to sign a book after coming back from a class in another building and they were going to punish him with a day out of school. We were directed to talk to the superintendent and it turned out every high school in the city had a different punishment. They finally gave him in-school detention which made more sense. I like the sign at the top. Tiny is a busy man. 😀 — Suzanne

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    1. Thanks for sharing. I have to say I’ve had my share of in-school meetings , but for the most part I found teachers to be hard working and fair. (The exceptions were called out ) 😀

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      1. Teachers these days have had more and more pushed on them almost to the breaking point. With those couple exceptions, I had no complaints. One teacher even gave up her own time to tutor her trigonometry class. My daughter thought a lot of her chemistry teacher and she liked Sayjal. Sayjal used the notebook from that class as a source book in a college chemistry class she took. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  17. LOL… you knew I’d look up Spectrographic Survey… of course I did.
    Fun list, John. I don’t think I need to worry about running into any geniuses in DC… Adults stunted at preschool mentality aplenty, but not geniuses. 😉
    Have a wonderful new week. Hugs.

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  18. Nice list, John, I’m going to print this off for the next time I am introduced to a genius at a Super Bowl party. Would it be okay if I offered them a Molson?

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      1. That play, followed by Foles’s success with the same play was pure sweet. I’m so glad the defense didn’t fall off. I loved that forced fumble. All in all, a very good game for a non-NE-Fan

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