This post is a continuation of the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. In 1922, the entrance to King Tutankhamen’s tomb was discovered in Egypt.
Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Entering King Tut’s Tomb.
10 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not ignore the curse written on the main door. If you do, at best it is just a practical joke. At worst, that look in the mirror ten days later will give you a hint you should have paid attention. (That dry skin mummy look is trying to give you a head’s up to a problem, Faer. Better contact a shaman quickly.)
9 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not disturb that cloth wrapped hulk with the WWF champion belt. If you do, at best it is just a statue. At worst, the spirit of Tiny the WWF champ has been waiting centuries to body slam an opponent. (Well, you woke it up, Fagen. I think you should start looking for a soft landing spot.)
8 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not try any of the preserved food in those gold pots. If you do, at best the food will be dust. At worse, those pickles will have a monumental repeat factor. (Stay close to the facilities, Faine. You just never know.)
7 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not sit on any of the furniture. If you do, at best you’ll pick a solid piece. At worst, you’ll sit in a 4000-year-old chair that has seen better days. ( No need to try putting it back together, Fane. That priceless antique is now sawdust, and the curator is preparing a bill for you right now.)
6 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not touch the king’s sarcophagus with your bare hand. If you do, at best a layer of dust will protect the finish. At worst, the oils from your skin will leave a permanent hand print on the priceless relic. (You may need to confess, Faraz. The CSI is now running the print through an identification process which is bound to lead to you.)
5 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not pull any lever that you may come across. If you do, at best the lever is not connected. At worst, the lever is connected to the trap door under your feet. (Falling through the dark is pretty scary huh, Farnham. Wait until you hit bottom.)
4 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not think you can take a souvenir. If you do, at best the security guy will tell you to put it back. At worst, you will get it home only to discover several Boris Karloff types hanging around your bedroom. (Don’t worry about these guys being see-through, Farquhar. At least they can’t hold a knife.)
3 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not forget a flashlight (electric torch). If you do, at best someone else may have one. At worst you’ll try using a cigarette lighter and end up falling in the coffin with the king. (You can stop screaming now, Farren. The king is not holding you down. That cover merely slammed shut .)
2 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not take a selfie with the king. If you do, at best the picture won’t turn out. At worst, when you look at it, the picture will have some other characters in it which you never saw. (I’m not saying the place is haunted, Farrokh but you now have captured the souls of the king”s guards. Good luck with that.)
1 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not bring your big gulp drink inside. If you do, at best it will be gone before you set it down. At worst, you will set it where someone will knock it over into the King’s sarcophagus. (History records some unknown substance all over the king, Fars. Your secret is safe with us.)
Fiction Favorites 
😀 OMG…preserved food in the pots? Falling into a coffin with the king? Thank goodness we’ve been forewarned. Never a dull moment when we travel with you, John. Thank you for the flashlight and the laughs.
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Thank you for the nice comment, Gwen. Yes, travel with me at a high risk. 😀
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Awesome, John. I am a big fan of King Tut.
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Thank you, Robbie.
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I can see so many of these happening today. The Big Gulp and the selfie would happen for sure.
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I wonder what the Big Gulp of the twenties was? Maybe a 6oz bottle of Coke? Thanks, Craig.
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I think #8 reveals the origin of the curse. Ancient pickles might be tempting, but you’ll pay for it later.
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The pickle pay back will be big time. Thanks, Charles.
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Lol! Thanks for the Monday morning giggles, John!
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Always nice to hear of giggles. Thanks, Jill.
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Darn it, I do love a good pickle. They look OK to me, John. Also, I heard the King was heavy into Dr.Pepper. Oh well. I’ve learned to listen to you (and I have a healthy respect for Tiny in all forms).
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Ha haha. I think the pickles are okay. The potted meat not so much. Thanks, Dan.
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Honestly? When I visited the King Tut exhibit here in Houston, the temptation to reach out and touch the cat’s sarcophagus was so overwhelming I asked a security guard if I couldnt’ — just one finger? Of course the answer was a steely glare and a firm “No!”, but the experience certainly made your list even funnier to me. Well done!
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I have had the same experience. (lucky I wasn’t maced) Thanks, Linda.
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#8 and #3 were absolutely hilarious. Side- splitting funny. Well, this entire Top Ten was really good!
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Thank you, Jennie. I’m happy you enjoyed it. 😀
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You’re welcome, John. It’s my Monday morning tonic. 😀
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🙂
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OMG! This one is the best. Those petrified pickles just may do damage to your teeth. And taking a selfie with the king is almost as bad as falling in the coffin with the lid slamming shut. The 3 stooges would have had a ball with this one. LMAO
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Thank you, Darlin. I’m glad you liked it. 😀
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#1 – Not going anywhere without my flask of ‘Maker’s Mark’! ♥
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Don’t blame you. If things get tough you can take a swig and end it all.
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Not bad advice for bars too.
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Perfect for bars.
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4,000 year old food – yeah, that might cause a problem. But, the Big Gulp had me cackling! Another good one, John!
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Thank you, Jan
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Yes, dont pull any levers or ignore those warnings:) Now I’m thinking of the song King Tut…lol. Another good list!
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Thank you, Denise. 😀
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Hahahaha … but now I’ll spend the rest of day with Steve Martin’s King Tut playing over and over in my head 🙂
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Check out “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Thanks, Marie.
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Thanks, John! Another song to look through my head 🙃
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😀
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Brilliant, dear John! Pitty whose who entered there, had not known your useful tips. 🙂
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I left instructions when the tomb was closed. I guess they got lost.
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It looks like! You are a great man, dear John! And you did the right thing. 🙂
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Thank you, Maria.
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You are welcome, dear friend. By the way, Twiggy was there too. The Egyptians have left so many images of her in the pyrimids. 🙂
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So true. Thanks for the reminder.
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
Here is another great Top Ten list from John Howell’s Fiction Favorites blog. This one is the Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Entering King Tut’s Tomb
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Thank you, Don. ;-D
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You’re welcome
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Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.
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Thank you for the reblog, Viv.
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I’ve seen enough mummy movies to know the etiquette for a situation like this. Good one, John!
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Thank you, Teri.
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Another good one!!! Keep ’em comin’.
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Yes boss.
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The preserved pickles really got to me! Maybe add another caveat: wear a respirator when you go in – if you don’t at best you’ll have a coughing fit, at worst you will die from a 4,000 year old virus!
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Thanks Noelle. Good advice. 😀
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As in #8, that food found in the tomb was undoubtedly some early form of Ayurveda. Many of those medicines are either to stop or start elimination. It’s a common problem in the Middle East and India. It might have been King Tut’s favorite treatment. 😀 — Suzanne
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I’m not trying it for sure now. Thanks, Suzanne. 😀
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Thank goodness there’s no mention of scarab beetles, John. Those things can outrun Usain Bolt, and bug spray doesn’t work on them.
Thanks for the laughs.
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Ha haha. Thanks, Hugh.
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Buahahaha!
That’s the thing about tombs, those levers! There’s every chance that the right lever will open up to a ginormous room full of priceless treasure. Which won’t get you far once it traps you inside . . .
And you’ve come up with a thought more frightening than an enraged Tiny! A centuries old enraged Tiny! YIKES.
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A Tiny wrapped in cloth strips is a scary thing for sure.
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Downright frightening!
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