Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the Wizard of Oz in 1938

~ John W. Howell

 

Wizard of Oz

This week marks the anniversary of the opening of the movie The Wizard of Oz in New York City in 1938. Since we all want to attend that gala event, we need to take our Top Ten Things Not to Do list so that we can enjoy the evening and not create an incident or tear in the time continuum. All set? Let’s go.

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the Wizard of Oz in 1938.

10 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not think anyone will appreciate your cosplay attempt with the lion costume. If you do, at best no one will take your photo. At worst, since cosplay is a thing of recent history, the zoo will be called, and you’ll be netted. (This is a fine kettle of fish you’ve gotten yourself into Iapetus. At least there’s plenty of red meat served. I would keep an eye on that big fella over there. I think he likes you.)

9 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not let Tiny the WWF champ see you cut in line. If you do, at best you can make friends with the person you cut in front of quickly. At worst, Tiny, who was just warned about the evils of line cutting by his boss, has decided to make an example of you. (Stop screaming, Idris. Tiny will eventually stop twirling and slam you to the pavement. Then it will be time to scream.)

8 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not make any comment about the Munchkins. If you do, at best they’ll be too busy to hear you. At worst, your comment regarding size challenge will not go unrevenged. (How does it feel being carried aloft by one hundred hands, Ignat. I hope you enjoy the ride cause the next stop is the Hudson River.)

7 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not sing along with Dorthy on the song Over the Rainbow. If you do, at best the music will be loud enough to drown you out. At worst, the theater management will finally find you. (They thought you had brought your cat to the performance, Iliya. Looks like you better say a quick goodbye to your seatmates.)

6 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not think it amusing to arrive on a pink horse. If you do, at best traffic will be so bad you’ll never get to the front door. At worst, you’ll come face to face with the militant leader of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. (The leader makes the Wicked Witch of the West appear to be a girl scout, Imad. That umbrella feels like a billy club, doesn’t it? Best to ride out of town.)

5 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not ask the concession person for a copy of the DVD. If you do, at best you’ll get a box of raisinets instead. At worst, the concession person thinking you mean to hold up the stand will whistle for the police. (Now you have the pleasure of explaining what a DVD is, Imanol. Maybe it’s better to say you meant raisinets after all.)

4 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not ask to try on the ruby slippers. If you do, at best Judy Garland will say no. At worst, you’ll get them on. (Now what are you going to do, Indra? You have size fives on your nines and no way to get them off. You’re lucky there is not a real witch Glenda. She would send you back to Kansas.)

3 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not ask the Winged Monkey King for an autograph. If you do, at best he won’t have a pen. At worst he might decide to take you back to the tower to share a lunch. (Don’t look now, Iolo but the term, “share,” has a different meaning to the Flying Monkeys)

2 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not ask auntie Em for a cookie. If you do, at best she won’t hear you. At worst, you will be the one-millionth person to make that request. (So auntie decided to give you something for your effort huh, Ionakana? Here take this steak and put it on that eye. The swelling will go down in no time.)

1 At the opening of the Wizard of Oz, do not shout out, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” If you do, at best no one will know what you are talking about. At worse, when that part comes in the movie, and the audience realizes you shouted a spoiler. (Time to leave your seat, Iowereth. There are about 300 movie goers who want a piece of you. Guess what? There aren’t that many pieces to go around.)

63 thoughts on “Ten Things Not to Do at the Opening of the Wizard of Oz in 1938”

  3. Raisinets! I’d forgotten them. And I’ve apparently forgotten a good bit of the movie, too. Flying monkeys? No memory of those. I didn’t realize it was released in 1938, either. That was the year my parents married; I doubt they saw the film that year, but they might have.

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  6. So don’t ask for an autographed copy of the blu-ray edition . . . got it.

    As for the line about paying no attention to the man behind the curtain, I’ll reserve that line for election day.

    And no problem on the ruby slippers. I’ve got nothing in my wardrobe that matches those things . . .

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        7. It has come down to the Raiders sending out a letter to Brown, basically telling him he has to comply or stay out. Peter King of NBC Sports says the Raiders should “fire Brown”, and he’s not alone.
          All I know is, I have a new appreciation for Mike Tomlin of the Steelers. He kept this dude pretty much in check for ten years.

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  10. Those flying monkeys terrorized me as a kid — and I still can’t watch this movie without turning away or covering my eyes when they appear on screen!! But I’ll always love when the old black-and-white film “miraculously” turns into technicolor!!!

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  11. Good thing we have you, John, to make sure we don’t make any faux-pas at these events!
    Suddenly, I have an urge to follow the yellow brick road – even though I know how it ends 😉

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  14. Garland was perfect for that role. She had so much talent. I really want her to autograph my CD, dammit. Was the Wizard of Oz shown every year on your local TV station when you were a kid, John? It was shown every on Christmas Eve in Charleston.

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    1. Actually, the rebroadcast rights were not granted in time for my childhood. It was shown for the first time on CBS in 1956 and then not repeated until 1959. I was in high school then and the last thing I did was watch network programs. Those two showings cost CBS of 200,000 each. After 1959 the show became an annual thing. Turner Entertainment is the rights holder.

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  15. Speaking of Munchkins, did you know there was a ‘Little People” wrangler? The studio brought in dwarfs in from all around the country to play the Munchkins and put them all up at the same hotel.
    They were drunk all the time. destroyed the hotel (swinging from chandeliers was not uncommon), and had to be herded to the set each day. Hence, a wrangler. The stories are legendary, and that’s something considering the excesses of the Hollywood elite in the 1930s.

    Great list, as always. I really look forward to Mondays and your Top Ten posts.

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  17. One of my favorite movies! I introduced #1 Grandson to it a couple of years back and he loves the Scarecrow. He got a bit obsessed with scarecrows for a year or so, but the Lion is so cute! We’d go in costume today, but back then…yeah, no. They’d call out the men in white suits to come to take you away.

    Good list John!

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