Top Ten Things Not to do During a Storm

Photo by Henrieke Fischer on Unsplash

 

This post originally ran on October 26th, 2015. Since we all have been through some storms this year, I thought it would still provide a chuckle.

* * *

The inspiration for this list is a recent three-day storm here in Texas. Although I had enough sense not to do these things, they did come to mind as I was going through various circumstances.

Top Ten Things Not to do During a Storm

10 If you are in a storm, do not decide to drive around to check out the damage. If you do, at best, you may find yourself stranded by high water. At worst, you might be trying to explain to the grumpy-looking national guardsman why you didn’t heed the warnings to stay inside. (You have to wonder if that rifle has real bullets)

9 If you are in a storm, do not call the electric company to report a power outage. If you do, at best, you will be on hold for hours. At worst, you will be reminded that the entire grid is down and then asked some embarrassing questions designed to point out that it is dark all around you. (Never thought to look out the window, huh?)

8 If you are in a storm, do not rush your grocery store for a month’s worth of food and water. If you do, at best, you will be in the company of your hysterical neighbors. At worst, you will find yourself in a primal fight over a roll of toilet tissue with Shultz, the county cow tossing champion. (And you almost wrestled it away before you blacked out)

7 If you are in a storm, do not ignore the weather warnings. If you do, at best, you might be surprised at how fast things come at you. At worst, you might be challenged to swim for safety with only a duckie ring as a flotation device. (And you read on the duckie that it is not to be used as a flotation device. What’s that hissing sound?)

6 If you are in a storm, do not try to move through the darkened house without a flashlight. If you do, at best, your shins will take a beating on the furniture. At worst, that candle you lit will somehow fall into the pile of newspapers you left in the living room last night. (And guess how long it will take the fire department to reach you?)

5 If you are in a storm, do not keep driving in the heavy rain. If you do, at best, you will stress out to the maximum. At worst, your car might be invisible to that giant 18 wheeler behind you with the devil himself at the wheel. (It must be the devil given the recklessness of the driving)

4 If you are in a storm, do not think all your emergency gear takes the place of common sense. If you do, at best, the gear may not fully perform. At worst, you will think you will be able to ride out the storm only to change your mind two minutes after it is too late. (Don’t worry about trying to Google it. That wall of water is called a Tsunami)

3 If you are in a storm, do not think you need to go outside to fix something in the middle of wind and downpour. If you do, at best you will get very wet. At worst, you could find yourself being carried away in the company of your neighbor’s swing set. (You might be able to turn around in a mile or so.)

2 If you are in a storm, do not think a quick dash to the mailbox doesn’t require wet weather outer gear. If you do, at best, you will need a bath and hot cocoa to thaw out. At worst, the chill you received on the jaunt turns into something that keeps you in bed for a week. (And what you are doing cannot be remotely described as enjoying yourself.)

1 If you are in a storm, do not think you have to brave the elements to get to work. If you do, at best, you will show up, and no one else will be there. At worst, you will have battled the storm for hours, and once you get there, all questions about your judgment skills will be answered. (And you thought you were indispensable)

105 comments

  1. Very helpful John and a reminder of the pre-Covid announcements of an imminent lockdown and there were a few cow tossing champions in the TP aisle to be avoided lol.. another terrific ten things..β™₯

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I was reminded of the pre-COVID lockdown behavior as well.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thank you, Sally. Glad yu like it. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m guessing all of these have been done. There are a lot of people who just lose their minds in bad weather.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hard to explain too. Thanks, Charles.

      Like

    1. Thank you, Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the very useful advices, John! I will print out and pin it on the back of our front door. Lets hope i will be able to read before the next storm. πŸ˜‰ Have a nice week! xx Michael

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Michael. Have a wonderful week. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you, John! Enjoy also a beautiful week! xx Michael

        Like

  4. Best to stay home! Good advice, John. Happy Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great advice, Jill. Have a super day. 😊

      Like

  5. Can I admit to being on the road during a tornado? It’s not an experience I care to repeat!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess not. Glad you were safe.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Can I modify #1 and send it to my old boss? Do not call a staff meeting and require all hands on deck… I was able to get out of going after slipping on the ice and falling down a short flight of stairs.

    Great list John. As winter is approaching, I should start counting violations in our area. There are always several, especially numbers 10, 8 and 3.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s nice you can count the violations from your easy chair. No need to go out and count. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s a great list. Unfortunately, I ended up breaking #5 on Saturday night, and it wasn’t at all enjoyable. Clearly, the highway department thinks striping the sides and center of the roads isn’t important, or white paint isn’t in their budget.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hate it when you can’t see and have no lines for guidance. Glad you were safe. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. haha, Number 1 did happen to me!! πŸ€ͺ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think we all have done that. I remember going to work in a snowstorm and running into a twelve foot drift that was across the road. The car was there for three days. Lucky for me a farmer saw me go by and got his frontloader to at least dig enough so I could open the door and get out. His question put everything into perspective. “What’s so important?”

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sounds like my father talking!

        Like

  9. All you have to do is watch the news to see all of these, with the possible exception of #1.

    Like

    1. Yes number one is not so common. Thanks, Liz.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    There have been close calls with some of your points, LOL, but #1 happened. During a hurricane in CT, I was part of the team traveling with an emergency crew down to the beach to rescue students. The truck could withstand about anything, so I was safe, but it was a surreal experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll bet. What were students doing at the beach during a hurricane? Never mind. I get it. Thanks, Gwen

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I could write a version of this for life in Alaska! I graduated from Tech school in December at Shepard AFB and the day we were to fly home for our first leave all the planes were grounded due to an ice storm. Texas weather!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed. We have ice sometimes. Thanks, Maggie.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Great ones, John! I may or may not have tried a few of these. πŸ™‚ But never with a duckie floatie. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have not done a duckie floater either. Thanks, Jan

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m with Jill – best just to stay home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. Good idea.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Very sound advice and I am sure there are maroons here and there who attempted each and every one of these!
    Happy Monday Boss!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure you are right. Thank you , Dale. Happy Monday to you as well. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  15. NC is populated by idiots who do all the things you said not to! Especially getting out and driving around – it’s amazing! We watch the weather and just make sure we have the basics (which everyone mostly has anyway).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always wonder about thosewho hop in their cars and then get stuck. Thanks, Noelle.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Timely advice. We’re even getting a downpour in Idaho.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I heard it was raining there. Keep your feet up.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Lol these are great! Can I add one from the gardener’s personal experience? Do not go in the wash to open the gate when the water level is rising rapidly unless you have two police officers helping you. (luckily he did)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG. Good thing too. One should stay out of washes in heavy rain. Thanks, Luanne.

      Like

  18. It is October. Doesn’t that require a haunted storm and a roaming pack of werewolves ? Sure kids we can still go out trick or treating once this blows over…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Naw Pa. Let’s go now. I hear that guy with the chainsaw. We want to see him.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hear he carves things. Screaming things…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes. That’s why we have to go see him.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Still good advice, John, and yes, we’ve had way more than our usual rain totals. Nos. 7, 8, and 10 nearly always take place when a hurricane approaches, despite the warnings. And I had to giggle at No. 6 — moving through a dark house a few years ago was a nightmare-waiting-to-happen because of the Domer’s Legos, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh the legos. I still have an imprint of a brick.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Funny how something so small can inflict such immense pain!

        Like

  20. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    Very timely list for me, John πŸ™‚ nothing stops my husband from going out in it….lol.

    Like

  21. In order to protect myself as per #6 on this list, I wear shin guards to bed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess you sleep alone a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You got me pegged. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Always a fun 10 things!
    Well, funny, anyway. Still laughing on #3… in a mile or so…LOLOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad yo liked them. Yes it can’t go on forever. Sooner or later you will be dropped to the ground. (Watch that picket fence)

      Like

  23. Great advice, John. I hope to avoide them all. Thanks for the smiles.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Based on your great advice, John, we did well yesterday in our Cat. 5 storm. It was intense! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad you are okay. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, John! I am too. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Sage advice, John!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Was Shultz a precursor to Tiny?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes he was. The idea was there. I think he had a number of names until I settled on Tiny. as a reoccurring character,

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I hate to tell you this, but Tiny’s been moonlighting over at the Dortmunder series by Donald E. Westlake. He’s in all the books except the first few. And he was so sure of himself he didn’t even use an alias. He’s known as Tiny … and he’s your guy!
        As a side note: I laugh out loud about every three or four years. And then only once. These books break me out laughing all the time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If he published after 2015 then he is my guy.

        Like

  27. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    This one hits home, John. #10β€”for sure! I remember when we’ve had tsunami warnings around here, and people go down near the water to check out the waves. Didn’t anyone tell them a tsunami can travel over 500 mph? πŸ‘€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember one in Hawaii. We all went to the highest point of the island and just sat there. It never came. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Re No. 1…yup! Being close to work is a super disadvantage when there’s a storm. And yes, my boss took advantage of it. 😬

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Most of them will. I think COVID taught a lot of them a lesson.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Sally. 😁

      Like

  29. Great post, dear John! Thank you. It is so necessary in our age of climate surprises no matter where you stay. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maria. 😁πŸ₯ƒπŸ°πŸ₯‚πŸ°

      Liked by 1 person

      1. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ—πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ»

        Liked by 1 person

  30. Numbers 8 and 3 are spot on! We have the Washoe Zephyr wind here. Mark Twain made it famous with his 3 page description of it in his book Roughing It.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To name a wind is somethng.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is something. It’s knocked over our big outdoor grill three times since we’ve lived here. It’s now really heavily weighted down. Neighbors have their outdoor furniture anchored to fences with tie downs, and straps. It’s a pretty incredible wind. Twain’s take on it is pretty accurate and funny.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow. I just hate wind form my days in Illinois. I don’t think that would make me happy.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. We’ve definitely made some adjustments and are adapting to it. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  31. I totally agree with #1. Too many people risk their lives in storms just to get to work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the stay-at-home situation has changed that somewhat.At least the bosses have relaxed on face to face necessity. Thanks, Becky.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I hope that has changed a bit, John.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I do too. I fought for about six years for work at home privileges. Always the same answer. “Too vital to be missing.” I did let my folks have one day a week though. If caught it would have been the guillotine.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Depending on the person, I think that working at home can be quite productive!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I always found it to be so.

        Liked by 1 person

  32. I would say that’s pretty darn good advice John. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Debby. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  33. alexcraigie · · Reply

    🀣 Most of these have been attempted at one time or another by people I know. The end results were uncannily like your predictions!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Alex. I hope they al recovered. πŸ˜‚

      Like

  34. Creepy storms brrrr!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Shultz the cow tossing champion (see, I can’t even type this without laughing) and the devil driving the 18 wheeler… how do you write this without laughing for hours?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do laugh for hours but I have to be quiet about it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you laugh!! If it was loud, waking the girls might stir a water buffalo and puma chase. Quiet is good.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Especially since The Producer thinks I’m a little off anyway.😊

        Liked by 1 person

  36. Great advice. I think I’ve broken all ten of those rules and lived.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. It is a good thing too. Thanks, Molly Shea.😁

      Liked by 1 person

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