Top Ten Things You Never Should Have Asked Your Mother

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

 

This post was originally run on December 14th, 2014. I think the advice is still good and I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

The inspiration for this list was a discussion between The Producer and me about how kids can light the parental upset fuse by a simple question. We both have asked some and have been asked some.

Top Ten Things You Never Should Have Asked Your Mother

10 You should never have asked your mother, “What meatloaf again?” If you did, at best, you got a cold stare and shoulder. At worst, you were invited to partake of food at the neighbor’s house. (The look told you she meant it but also, you better not.)

9 You should never have asked your mother on her birthday, “How old are you now?” If you did, at best, you got a lecture on poor manners. At worst, you were witness to flying cake and a bedroom door slam that you still see in your nightmares. (The heat from the flaming candles should have been a clue to clam up)

8 You should never have asked your mother once your dad told you no. “Dad says to come and ask you for the car keys.” If you did, at best, you’ll get a response that confirms your dad’s opinion. At worst, you will have been solely responsible for the resultant three months of additional chores once the parental units caught up to your scheme. ( Good luck on ever seeing those keys)

7 You should never have asked your mother, “Don’t you think that dress is a little out of style.” If you did, at best, your mother will go change but not talk to you for the rest of the day. At worst, you will be subjected to a long lecture about all the things your mother gave up so that you could have the most up-to-date clothing. (She is probably right, you ungrateful dependent you)

6 You should never have asked your mother, “Can you and dad leave while my friends come over?” If you did, at best, you will get a firm “No” in response. At worst, you will be delighted to have your parents sitting in the same room where you and your friends are gathering. (Your worst nightmare has come true)

5 You should never have called your mother on April Fools Day asking, “Come bail me out of jail?” If you did, at best, a cold cloth applied by dad worked to revive her. At worst, the joke will have backfired to the point where your mom still thinks there was something behind it. (Not lovely to play high stakes jokes on your worried mom)

4 You should never have asked your mother to bake cupcakes for the soccer team the night before the event. If you did, at best, the cupcakes were made, but you owed your mom big time. At worst, the cakes were made, but you were so tired from helping you had the worst game ever. (Notice the cakes got made in each case?)

3 You should never have asked your mother to give you lunch money instead of packing a lunch since all the cool kids buy their lunch. If you did, at best, you got the money but also a discussion about proper nutrition and peer pressure. At worst, you didn’t get the money and now find your lunch consists of every food you can’t stand, including many fruits. (Mom’s way of telling you to quit trying to be part of the in-crowd.)

2 You should have never asked your mother to tell a fib about where you were when your stood-up date called to talk to you. If you did, at best, your mother simply hands the phone to you. At worst, your mother tells your date that you are not interested in talking. (The truth will ice that relationship. Won’t it?)

1 You should have never asked your mother to babysit your kids. If you did, at best, all had an excellent time. At worst, your mother doesn’t want to return them to you. ( A considerable risk for sure.)

91 comments

    1. Thank you for the share, Michael. 😊

      Like

  1. Thank you for the entertainment, John! You never should ask any woman about her age, or ask if you should buy more candles for the cake. Lol Have a nice Monday! xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true. I hope you enjoy Monday too, Michael.😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you very much, John! xx Michael

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What? Trying to play one parent off against the other isn’t a good idea?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Item one in every teen’s playbook, I should think.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My brother and I didn’t wait for our teens to start with those machinations.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. We kids were blaming each other for everything before then.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Yeah, my brother and I figured out that we could get away with more as conspirators than as combatants.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. What did you do with them?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. We joined forces to unleash a tsnami of mischief. (We were a legend in our own minds.)

        Liked by 1 person

    2. It ends up n the between a rock and hard place position. Thanks, Liz.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. These are great, John! Happy Monday!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Jill. I hope you have a super day as well. 😁

      Like

  4. Anonymous · · Reply

    Ah so true

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great tips, John. Especially laughing at number six. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I still remember that one from my kids. “We won’t get into trouble, promise.” Yeah sure. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Gwen M. Plano · · Reply

    Loved these, John. I especially smiled over #1. What a sweet response. 💗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Gwen. You know how it feels to return grandkids. Big void for a few days. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  7. haha, I had to be careful about anything I told my mother!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we all did. Thanks, GP.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. So many dangerous questions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Big time. Thaks, Charles.

      Like

  9. Ha ha! You never disappoint!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad, Pamela. Thanks for the lovely comment. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Definitely #10. I hated my mom’s meatloaf.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. That means it must have been on the weekly menu too.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Good ones, John! Took me back decades and brought back some good memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad, Tim. Thanks for letting me know.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Good ones all, John! My children were guilty of #4 on MANY occasions!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think all kids were guilty. Thanks, Noelle.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This may just be the best list ever, John. Love the cupcake fiasco and yes, the cupcakes got made regardless. Happy Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know I was there too. Thanks, Jan.

      Like

  14. All great, but #1 is the best! Mom did give them back to me but not until they were loaded with sugar!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There you go. Wind them up and give them back.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. We used to send my baby sister in to ask for almost everything b/c she had, ” the look” that neither of my parent’s could refuse…well, not always but, more times than not! 😂

    Baby Girl knows we’d love to keep the boys!! Since we can’t keep them we spoil them. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Spoiling is a good alternative. You know you are doing your job when your child asks you to stop doing something.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Lol Great list, John, and a lot of very realistic warnings in this list. I’m pretty sure I asked my mom #1,3,and 4. I wish I’d asked her #5. Do you think it’s too late?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Diana. No, go ahead and ask #5.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I pulled them all, except for #6 and #1. Some things never, ever change!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As they say, the more they change the more they stay the same.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Great blast from the past, thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Craig.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. My mother got some magazine award for her meatloaf. I remember having to clap not understanding the big deal when to me it was just a very long hamburger. I was about 7 going on 40, at the time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha. I can see you going through the motions. My experieince with meat loaf is to douse it with catsup and all is good.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She must have known someone. I mean it. It’s just chopped meat after all.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. How good can meatloaf be anyway? 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I would never have asked mom for bail money on April 1st when there are 364 other days in which to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha. 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Great list, John, and timeless for all generations! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren

      Liked by 1 person

  22. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    This one brought back a lot of memories. My mom and grandma used to guard their age until they got much older. Then they told others with great pride.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I only opened up about being eighty when I turned eighty. 😁 There is some pride there. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I would never have asked my mom for bail money because she would figure I deserved to spend the night in jail. If my dad said yes, I didn’t ask Mom… However, he usually deferred to her so.. nope. As for babysitting my kids? She was always called first. Problem is, she always gave them back!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that , Dale. (She would always give them back) 🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I thought you’d get a kick out of that one 😉 🤣😂

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Reblogged this on Stevie Turner and commented:
    Here’s a funny tale to go with this re-blog:
    Back in the 1970 when I was a rather green teenager, I once asked my father why men were walking around wearing tee shirts with the motif ‘I choked Linda Lovelace’. I remember Dad looked quite alarmed for a brief moment, and then said “Go and ask your mother”. I duly did as I was told, and received the reply, “Ask your father.” When I eventually did find out much later on, I cringed at that memory!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, this is hysterical Stevie. I just cringed for you too. Thank you so much for sharing my post and your story. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It really is cringe-making, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. It never ends with most moms. does it John. From one “ungrateful dependent” to another.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. So true. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  26. PS, I didn’t get notification for this one

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I LOVE #5. Wish I’d thought of it when I was a kid.

    Like

    1. Hahaha. Of course yours might not have been a joke.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing my post, Abbie.

      Like

  28. Hi John, this post made me laugh. My son, Michael, said I was a ‘helicopter’ mother about 2 days before the Omicron news broke (2 weeks ago). He wanted to go with his school class on an outing into a densely populated area where most of the people would be unvaccinated (I agree, what was the school thinking!) Anyhow, he didn’t go and 2 days later we got the good news and on the Friday the school notified the parents that there had been a outbreak of covid among the boys who went on the outing. The school was closed from Monday as the virus spread very quickly. Omicron seems very contagious but not that severe if you are vaccinated.

    Like

  29. This is such an amazing fun read. I love the inate humour that of course stems from real life. Love it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the visit and lovely compliment. 😊

      Like

  30. I like the April Fool’s prank. Good think I never thought of that when I was young! This was fun, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jennie. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, John.

        Liked by 1 person

  31. In the context of no.1 there is a Hindi saying which translates to “interest is loved more than the principal” which means grandchildren are loved more than children 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like that one, Ankur. Thank you.

      Like

  32. Hilarious!!! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the visit. I’m glad you like the post, Simi. 😁

      Like

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