Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto

~ John W. Howell

Here is a post from May 4th, 2015, that has some advice that may still be worthwhile. I hope you enjoy it.

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This list was inspired by reading a story about a person who had a dream that they were a Lotto winner and went out and bought new cars before the drawing.

a lotto

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto

10 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not quit your day job until the drawing is over. If you do, at best, your boss won’t take you seriously when you give a reason for resigning. At worst, the Publisher Clearing House Award Team will knock on your door only to discover they have made a mistake. (Your neighbor with the constantly barking dog is the actual winner.)

9 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not brag to your in-laws before the drawing. If you do, at best, they will believe you are a little naive. At worst, your father-in-law will present an IOU for the amount of money he has loaned to your spouse. (The bill will still be due even if you don’t win.)

8 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not sign the papers for that beautiful new house until after the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be the proud owner of two homes and utterly broke. At worst, the Federal government will want to talk about the amount of income you stated on the bank loan forms of twenty million, which was used to approve the loan. (They keep mumbling vaguely about something called bank fraud.)

7 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell all your friends before the drawing. If you do, at best, they will want the money back for the drinks they bought you. At worst, they will think you won and are avoiding their requests for a loan. (Never thought you had so many broke friends did you?)

6 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put off saving for retirement. If you do, at best, you will need to keep working until you have enough to retire. At worst, you will retire and find out you need to work more. (No one is hiring someone that dumb.)

5 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not put your house up for sale until after the drawing. If you do, at best, you will sell it and need to find another. At worst, you will sell your house and find you don’t have enough money to buy one of similar value. ( The bank just said you don’t qualify for a loan.)

4 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not tell your boss exactly what you think of them before the drawing. If you do, at best, your boss will send you for a mental evaluation, and all will be forgotten. At worst, you will say things you want to retract, but you know a retraction is impossible even as you pack for your new assignment in North Korea. (Don’t forget the down jacket with the red star.)

3 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not avoid setting up a college fund. If you do, at best, your kids will be so bright and talented that they will win full scholarships to Ivy League schools. At worst, your kids will have to take jobs and loans to get through college and eventually find their way back to your basement. (Good to see them more frequently, right?).

2 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not invest in that oil well with your brother-in-law before the drawing. If you do, at best, you have given your brother-in-law a gift. At worst, the oil well came in dry. (I’m not sure that scratch-off ticket is going to help.)

1 If you think you will win a contest or the Lotto, do not buy that expensive gift for your partner before the drawing. If you do, at best, you will be thanked for the thought. At worst, you will have to return the gift and explain why you bought it in the first place. (Whichever way the excuse comes out, it will still sound like you have lost your mind.)

68 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Think You Will Win a Contest or the Lotto”

  11. Great list, John. I don’t play Lotto, mostly because it’s not on my radar. I get gas and just don’t want to bother with buying a ticket. But, I do enjoy reading about those who have won. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Don’t tell your wife you want a divorce and buy an expensive new condo and move into it with your new young lover. If you don’t win you most likely will still get the divorce, lose your house, lose your young lover and be stuck with an expensive condo payment.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I play once in a while. Good odds. 50-50. I win or I don’t.
    I really thought I was going to win the BIG ONE a year ago.
    I marched into my bosses offices, stared him in the eye, sat down, stood up and left. Whew, I didn’t win but had fun thinking about it.
    A year later I won $50.00. Life is funny that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Having the Publisher Clearing House team show up at your house by mistake or stopping to ask for directions would be the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I don’t play Lotto … even when it gets into that sky-high range. There’s just something about spending money on something I have no control over that doesn’t sit well with me. But this is a great list, John. Full of wisdom!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Number 4 brings to mind the Seinfeld episode where George had the shits of his boss and told him so, only to return with tuck tailed the next day.

    As for who to tell? How about no one? Until AFTER you have the money . . and you can tell them all about it in a nice letter, while living somewhere else?

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Till that cheque is in your hands… better yet, till that money is deposited in your account, tell not a soul. Better yet? Keep that to yourself! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I always think I’m going to win.
    Something keeps happening to my winning tickets….. They seem to be replaced with losers.

    All good advice, John, especially about the down parka with a star!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. All ten are sage advice. On a related topic (and this is true, it happened just last week): A woman was about to buy a scratch-off ticket from a machine. Just as she was about to push the button, a man bumped into her and she hit the button next to the one she wanted. The man made no apology or said anything. He just kept going. The woman thought, “How rude!” She begrudgingly retrieved the ticket she did not want, went to her car where she took a quarter from her purse and proceeded to do her scratching. Guess what? She had won 10 million dollars.

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