Top Ten Things Not to Do During a Full Moon

Photo by Mike Petrucci on Unsplash

This post ran on October 17th, 2016. Since we had a full Hunter’s Moon last night (The same night as the full moon in 2016 ), I thought we could revisit the post since it will still look full tonight, and caution should be exercised.

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Since last night the Hunter’s Moon was full, I was inspired to give some thought as to what we should never do during a full moon. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, for you scientists out there, this is all made up. I write fiction, so when looking for truth, I would suggest any place but here.

Top Ten Things Not to Do During a Full Moon

by John W. Howell © 2016

10 If there is a full moon, do not go into a graveyard just to see what will happen. If you do, at best, you will challenge your all-time best heart rate. At worst, the total recall of Blair Witch Project will have you running for your life. (So you thought you had everything under control, didn’t you?)

9 If there is a full moon, do not ask that cloaked stranger for directions. If you do, at best, it will be too distracted by the moon to answer you. At worst, it will offer you a ride that will be your last. (Those hairy hands should have been a big clue)

8 If there is a full moon, do not back into any rooms, period. If you do, at best, you might trip and fall. At worst, that snarling thing you thought you saw in the backyard is now behind you. (Every moviegoer knows better, Bunkie)

7 If there is a full moon, do not act on the urge to make hay. If you do, at best, there won’t be a lot of grass where you live. At worst, the farmer will think you are poaching his hay and call the police. (Or worse yet, use that rock salt-loaded shotgun to clear his field.)

6 if there is a full moon, do not think your neighbors would appreciate a serenade about the moon and a spoon. If you do, at best, you will suddenly realize why the term “rotten tomatoes” is used to rate talent. At worst, the magistrate will have a tough time trying to justify letting you go free. (Maybe the psychological evaluation will put everyone at ease)

5 If there is a full moon, resist the urge to skinny dip. If you can’t, at best, a quick dip with no one the wiser will be your fate. At worst, after the dog takes your clothes and you are chasing him, the spotlight of your neighbor’s security system bathes you in the light of high noon. (There is a tape that goes with that light, and your neighbor has a pretty high price tag on it)

4 If there is a full moon, under no circumstances do you need to harvest anything. If this advice falls on deaf ears, at best, stick with canned goods. At worst, your quest for a fresh pumpkin at Whole Foods after hours could net you a free night in the county lockup. ( Your roommate Tiny is not the type to feel good about you after the slamming cell door at midnight.)

3 If there is a full moon, do not argue with the traffic officer who just pulled you over. If you do, at best, you’ve guaranteed yourself a ticket. At worst, the officer may be a graduate of an anger management treatment series. (It seems that his events are always triggered during a full moon)

2 If there is a full moon, do not enter a political chat room with the idea of defending your choice for President. If you do, at best, you will be able to turn off your computer. At worst, somehow, the room has discovered your real identity and is threatening to come right over. (Looks like you might need to leave town for a while, huh, Grover?)

1 If there is a full moon, do not answer your door or phone. If you do, at best, it will be someone you know. At worst, there will be a character you’ve never known saying, “I know what you did last summer.” (Yeah, this one is bad. You need to run now.)

71 comments

  1. I’m not the superstitious type, but it couldn’t hurt to print this list. I hope you have a good week, John.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, Dan. I hope yours is good too.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great list, John. #10 hit home. For 5 years, I lived in Easton, CT. It wasn’t until after I moved there, that I learned of Union Cemetery, less than a mile from me. Whenever there was a full moon, people would sneak into the cemetery because of the sightings. I wasn’t one of them. 👻 Have a great week!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You would not catch me doing that for sure. Thanks for sharing. 👀

      Like

  3. There’s a reason ‘lunacy’ became a word — it describes so many of these moon-induced behaviors!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, indeed. Thanks, Linda.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lols, John 😂… I kinda wanna try #10 🫣 Thanks for the laughs. Have a wonderful week 💕🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Take a good supply of gin and wolfbaine

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😁😁😁

        Liked by 1 person

  5. You don’t have to worry about me venturing to a graveyard after dark, John! Did I ever tell you when I first moved to Charlotte I worked at a cemetery? Fortunately, it was during daylight hours. 🙂 I never sleep well when there’s a full moon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did not know about your cemetery work, Jill. Good thing it was daylight. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You know how much I love full moons, but I can’t say that I’ve done any of these. However, I’m tempted to try #10. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Be careful, Joan. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  7. […] Top Ten Things Not to Do During a Full Moon […]

    Like

    1. Thanks for sharing my post today.

      Like

  8. Full moon explains a lot of the crazy recently.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Known fact that the full moon does produce nut behavior in some.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. These warnings sound perfectly reasonable to me. I’ll stay indoors and get my pumpkin from a bottle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent idea.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. A guideline I will follow!! Yikes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Or just stay in bed.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Good advice. My husband swore the crazies multiplied at the hospital on a full moon.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ve herd the same thing. Thanks, Noelle,

      Like

  12. #1 made me laugh out loud, John. And #2 is a very wise warning. Yeesh. Lol. Happy Halloween.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Halloween, Diana.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Some astute advice, John. Hope you have a good week. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Tim. I hope you do as well. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  14. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    So far I think I have manged to avoid this perils in a full moon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I love looking at a full moon, but I can do without the crazies that go along with it. Thanks for the reminders, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. Crazies and the moon seem to go together.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. If someone were to tell me they know what I did last summer, I’m not gonna lie. . . I would listen to them intently because I probably don’t remember.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. Good one Pilgrim.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I would be awful in a horror movie.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Me too. I would scream like a girl.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Yep, good advice. Do. Not. Open. the. Door.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perfect thing to not do. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  18. 😱😱😱 Deadly useful, dear John! Stay quiet & be in peace! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And don’t get out of bed. 😁

      Like

  19. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Haha! #1 reminds me of the commercial (Geico, I think) where the group of young people says, “Quick, let’s hide behind the chansaws.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. Ha ha ha.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the share, Michael.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always my pleasure, John! xx Michael

        Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m staying home and watching Netflix.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good idea for sure. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Indeed, great advices, John! Thanks! I also will print it out, because we never know when we are in need. Have a good week! xx Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. You must be careful, Michael. Don’t read the list while driving either. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  22. What about “Do not go out in the garden and howl”?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, don’t do it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 👍

        Liked by 1 person

  23. I have loved and been fascinated by Full Moons ever since I was little, John. I loved this list. It is my personal experience nothing is more true than weird stuff happening around me on days there are a Full Moon. I try to be extra-careful on those days so I don’t contribute to “Moon Madness!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Careful is as careful does.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I love the full moon and I also love graveyards. I know, a bit of a weirdo, being a typical Scotsman I always wear my kilt when out in a full moon in the graveyard.
    I find that when encountering the bogles, witches, and wraiths you often find there on such a night the best thing to do is follow the proscribed Scot’s method of spinning three times widdershins (anti- clockwise) and you will not be the only one to see some ghoolies that night.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great story, Ray. Thanks 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Okay… I went skinny dipping with a girlfriend during a full moon when I was 14. Guys suddenly appeared. It was hard to cover up with arms and legs while treading water, but we did it. No more skinny dipping on a full moon! Tiny might be there. As to Blair Witch Project, I hang laundry in my basement on hangers. When the hangers swing I’m creeped out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah skinny dipping with a full moon can be risky. I don’t blame you on being creeped out with swaying hangers. Those hanger are supposed to stay where you put them.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Been reading some of your older lists of things not to do and it finally dawned on me that you go out and do all these things so you can report back to us what not to do after you all ready went and did them. We owe you so much.

    By the way, you got some cut-off date on leaving a comment? The last two I looked at had no place for one of my pithy comments. Oh well, your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let me go check and reset it. Okay I boosted it to 250 days. I figure after that whatever you had to say you will have forgotten anyway. Thanks for letting me know about the setting. Only you can understand the great suffering I have done for my readers.

      Like

  27. Thank yoooooooo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A public service announcement

      Liked by 1 person

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