Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #386 by Keith Channing

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Here is a link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/14/kreative-kue-386/

The photo.

The Applicant by John W. Howell Β© 2022

“Hi, and welcome to the firm. My name is Lew, and I’m the HR director.”

“Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Lew. I’m John Wayfair.”

“Yes, John. I have your application in front of me. By the way, Lew is my first name.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Can I call you Lew?”

“Of course. Now let’s get down to business. You applied for a position in the marketing department.”

“Yes, yes, I have.”

“I see here you have published several books.”

“Yes, I’m an author, and a big part of the job is doing marketing.”

“I see. So you think these skills will traslate to our business?”

“I’m sure of it. ‘Marketing be marketing’ as we say.”

“Yes, quite. Tell me about the first person you killed?”

“Oh, you mean in my book.”

“Yes, in your book.”

“Well, not much to tell. The character was a lowlife, and the hero took him out.”

“Just like that?”

“Yup, just like that.”

“How about the first rape?”

“This is a little uncomfortable for me.”

“I’m sure it is. Do tell.”

“A real bad guy did that.”

“But you wrote it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then there was that adulterous affair between your characters.”

“Well, not to brag, but there were several.”

“I noticed you use a lot of profanity in your stories.”

“I just construct realistic dialogue.”

“You also seem to call on God to damn people a lot.”

“Pretty tough characters.”

“Heavy drinking and drug use.”

“Where is this all going, Lew?”

“An excellent question, John. I don’t think the marketing department is right for you. I think you will do better in a starting position.”

“What if I don’t agree?”

“You have no choice. With your background in sin, I think you should start in the furnace department. It’s the hottest place we have. And you will no longer call me Lew. Instead, you will address me as Lucifer. You are dismissed. Miss Harpy, send in the next candidate.”

“But it is all fiction.”

“So you say, John. Now get out.”

 

 

76 comments

  1. That was a hell of an interview, John. Now I get why you are writing novels themed on a more, shall we say, upward-looking dimension.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. The fire did it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hells Bells Boss!

    Excellent build up going on here, fusing the image with your writing. I could feel impending doom but you kept it at arm’s length until Lucifer had no choice but to show the applicant the door, so to speak.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Coal chute exit for sure. Thanks, Marc. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Tough break there. Maybe he can get a management position with all that experience.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. He sure qualifies. 😁

      Like

    2. That’s exactly what I was thinking, Charles!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You had me following the interview like it was a real one! Do I have to go to the furnace room too?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. You can stay and take notes on the next one. 🀣

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I saw that picture and all I could think of was “Liar, liar!”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha ha ha. Good one.

        Like

  5. Oh my, what a great twist at the end. I was thinking hmmm… what you write is not supposed to be who you are but I guess in this case… Lew needs one with more imagination!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A cautionary tale for all those authors out there. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Could be worse. The janitor and mailrooms also have openings.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So true. Maybe after the furnace room he’ll be ready for another slot.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I should have seen the twist coming–but I didn’t! (Maybe I’ve sat in on too many bad job interviews.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha. That could well be, Liz

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Uh-oh. Now I’m worried.

    Such a fun story, John! Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Staci. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Could have been worse John
    He could of told you to go to Helen Wait

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, I know her. That would have been worse.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Very well done, John! The flames ARE an allusion to Eternal Road, and I really like the Lew to Lucifer concept. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Tim. A little warning to authors too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ouch! I’ll have to clean up my language and get the sins out of my writing! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Or just join the rest of us in the furnace room

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Job interviews…I do think there is a special place in hell for them. Good one, John.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it is the second door on the right labelled HR. Thanks, Bruce.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. petespringerauthor · · Reply

    Well played, John. “Tell me about the first person you killed,”β€”not a question I’d expect to hear in an interview. 🀣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No that would take me by surprise.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. D.L. Finn, Author · · Reply

    That’s an interview I never want to attend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. I wouldn’t either.

      Like

  14. Ah the naive and the pre-scorched. Is this the line for accolades and rewards ?

    Like

    1. This is the line for brimstone and hemlock.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Great response to the prompt, John, and it began so innocently. Well done! πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. Heh, heh, heh.

      Like

  16. Ha ha ha! It seems your words are more potent than your actions. Best beware.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed. Also a little thing like intent.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I didn’t see that coming, John. Lew, Lucifer. Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Yikes! Would that we’d have a chance to wipe our computers clean of all the searches done in the cause of our writing … before our demise!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Too late. He already knows.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. too funny.. nice job John!!! πŸ’ž

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Cindy. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Well, if you start at the bottom there’s nowhere else to go but up- you hope! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So it would seem.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Don’t you just hate it when you misread the advert.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The world ‘soul’ in the ad should have been a tip off.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Haha, this was hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Priscilla.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Wasn’t expecting that ending. Nicely done. Hopefully not all authors will end up with an interview from Lew.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Let’s hope not, Michele. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Wow, I didn’t expect that ending. Super clever and one of your best, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lauren.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. I didn’t know they were reading…Good job, John.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. That was great, John. You got a laugh out of me. Thank goodness you write fiction!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Oh! That was harsh. Thankfully, it’s only fiction!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t be too sure, Deborah. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Well done, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for letting me know you like it, Jennie. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  29. […] The Applicant by John W. Howell Β© 2022 […]

    Liked by 1 person

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