Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash
This post ran on February 13, 2017. Since folks are still texting, it may still be helpful. I hope you enjoy it.
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The inspiration for this list came to me when I inadvertently sent a text to the wrong person. Luckily there was nothing in the text that might be embarrassing but caused my fiction mind to go into overdrive. I hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Texting
10 When texting, do not use acronyms that you don’t understand. If you do, at best, you might be misunderstood. At worst, you may shock the receiver with your lack of social grace. (You thought WTF meant “Why the Fuss,” didn’t you, Ferd? Too bad Nun Mary Teresa was the recipient of your misunderstanding.)
9 When texting, check to whom you are sending the message. If you don’t, at best, your message will provide some laughs. At worst, that disparaging comment about Tiny, the WWF champ’s mother, will go right to him by mistake. (You could have sworn you were messaging your best friend only to discover you replied to Tiny’s last text to you where he threatened to break your leg. Don’t look, but he’s heading toward you now, Buford.)
8 When texting, do not rely on auto-correct to cover your mistakes. If you do, at best, you will need to explain that last text. At worst, you just sent a group text to the garden club where you explained that the male Pinto plant needed to be placed inside a moist verdant vessel. (Well, that sure didn’t come out the way you intended, did it, Alice?)
7 When texting, do not rely on voice to text as a time saver. If you do, at best, your numerous repeats will make it a longer process. At worst, your voice recognition program only understands Cambridge English, and you are from New Jersey. (Good luck with that bit of technology, Bunky. BTW Homeland Security thinks you want to blow something up.)
6 When texting, do not include a duck-faced or tongue-out selfie with an obscene gesture thrown in. If you do, at best, you’ll demonstrate your lack of originality and IQ. At worst, your selfie will be passed from phone to phone until it ends up with your boss. (That call from HR can’t be good, huh, Bosco?)
5 When texting, do not send pictures of your food. If you do, at best, folks will think you need a hobby. At worst, you will demonstrate a cry for help that needs intervention. (How is that good feelings camp treating you, Tex?)
4 When Texting, do not use technology to wish someone a happy Valentine’s Day as your only effort. If you do, at best, you’ll never have a relationship with that person. At worst, the resultant storm will not be assuaged without some very expensive make-up gifts. (Seemed like an easy way out, huh, Pard?)
3 When texting, do not use emojis to express what should be said in person or in words. If you do, at best, you’ll be seen as an automaton. At worst, you will receive emojis back that have at the core a message telling you to place your phone in a very dark place. (You don’t know where those emojis came from, do you, Buster?)
2 When texting, do not do it while in a social situation. If you do, at best, you will look up and find yourself alone. At worst, the rest of the group will take your action as being disinterested in the event or them and ignore you for the rest of the evening. (Let’s hope you even notice, Clod.)
1 When texting, do not drive a car or operate machinery. If you do, at best, you’ll escape with no consequences. At worst, you’ll hurt someone with your negligence. (You’ll have to live with that the rest of your life, Dope.)
Fiction Favorites 
Glad you could keep this one down to TEN.
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It was hard. 😁
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On #5, I’ve told a few bloggers about that (I don’t text BTW). I said, if you’re going to make me hungry for what you ate for lunch, the least you could is include the recipe!
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Or a coupon for the meal.
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👍😉
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All great advice.
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Thanks, Charles.
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I’ve learned to re-read my texts before sending. Auto correct is not my friend.
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Mine either, Teri. Thanks.
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Texting is a whole new frontier for many of us.
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Fat thumbs beward
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HAHA!
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😁
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I worked for a guy in NJ at one time and he kept telling me he office address was “thurdy thurd and turd” no wonder my reports were always late!
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Ha ha ha. Good one, Jim.
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Excellent advice having had the misfortune of sending a text to an unintended recipient I can can testify it’s to be avoided at all costs. Thanks for the reminder. Auto correct can get us in a lot of trouble 😈😊
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So true, Holly. I hope the unintended felt honored to get the message.
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More like stunned 🫣
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Sounds mysterious.
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Just kidding. That’s a good point though. I imagine many folks have done that.
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Many times I’m sure. 😁
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😁
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😊
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That last one is the most important!
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YES!!
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Yes it is my PSA for the day.
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A lot of wisdom in your Top Ten today, John, and you’ve managed those jewels with laughter. Bravo!
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Thank you, Gwen. 😁
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These are still valid, John.
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John,
I believe I’ve checked off 8 of your points. I need to revisit my bad habits. Thanks for the laughs and the good advice.
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Always welcome, Tom
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I can attest to #9. 🙂
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Ha ah ha. Thanks, Joan
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hahaha so relatable.. haven’t we all done this at one point or another.
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I think we all have, Cindy. Thanks. 😁
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Indeed.. foot in mouth
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Big human disease.
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Still relevant, John … perhaps now more than ever! I understand autocorrect, but it truly angers me sometimes. How dare “they” think they know what I mean to say?!?
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I get it, Debbie. Thanks.
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I can relate to #7, but if I couldn’t voice text, I would never text. 🙂
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Voice text is great.
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Good ones, John, particularly number 1. I’ve dodged people that were texting me while driving. It’s a good thing my reflexes are still okay.
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We are all grateful for your reflexes, Tim
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11. When texting, do not walk across a road without looking first. (Seen this. Had to stomp on the brakes.)
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Good one, Vera. 😊
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John, great list. All good reasons why I hate texting including your fat thumb comment. I finally perfected my smoke signal skills and now everyone wants to text.
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Bummer. I think smoke signals are still good.
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Always such sound advice, Birthday Boy! You would think people would have learned by now not to text and drive!
Happy Birthday, John! xoxoxo
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Thank you again, Dale. XOXOXO
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💞
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😊
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I hate to use acronyms for that very reason. Someone might mistake my What The F$*k with a What’s The Fuss.
Happy Birthday young man
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Thank yu for the birthday wish, Pilgrim. 😊
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I hope you had a beautiful one Boss.
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It was devine.
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8 and 1 are the most problematic, dear John. So many people ignore them! Thank you!😉🍤🍤🍤🍻
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I think you are right, Maria. 🥂🍰
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Someone should write a book about all of the hysterical auto-correct texts. How often have I reminded myself to check before hitting send, only to do the same thing again?
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So true, Pete. Thanks.
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Great as always John and I can definitely add a few things not to do lol.. my thumbs don’t work as well as they should… hugsx
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Thanks, Sally. Personally I hate texting but it is a way of life.
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This was hilarious, John. WTF to a nun…still laughing. A text to Tiny’s mother can never be a good thing. 🙂 Thanks for the serious #1.
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Can you imagine Tiny’s mother? #1 is my PSA
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I have so many different images of Tiny’s mother in my head, from Jed Clampett’s mother to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s mother. I’m with you on #1.
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It does boggle the mind. I keep thinking of the mother in Alien.
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Yes!
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😊
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“The inspiration for this list came to me when I inadvertently sent a text to the wrong person.” (So true!)
I don’t text anymore and this is the reason why:
About seven years ago I was texting with three woman at the same time. With two of ’em it was just every day yakity, yak stuff. With the third, I reckon you’d call it sexting. Yeah, you got it. Someone got a text they shouldn’t have.
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I sent a text to my boss meant for my wife. “Hey beautiful how you doing?” He answered, “Just fine. You been drinking?” We got a big laugh and then he reminded me of the no personal use of company Blackberrys.
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[…] Head over to make sure you are not getting yourself into trouble: Top Ten Things not to do when Texting by John Howell. […]
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Thank you, Sally
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John, this is valuable advice many should read. Auto ‘incorrect’ as I prefer to call it is a nightmare, lol. And your number 4 really hit home – do not use technology to send birthday and holiday wishes. Here’s another for you, don’t use this method when someone dies either. When your husband dies and your sister still hasn’t called you two years later, but sent an ‘I’m sorry text’ when it happened. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. 🙂
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I hope getting off your chest will be one step toward forgiveness. (She does deserve a slap though)
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Lol, you said a mouthful. I’m a born forgiver, but never forget. 🙂
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I agree. 🤗
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🙂
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Double, treble check what you have written in case as your phone is bound to have incorrectly guessed what you wanted to say.
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Great point, Janet. Thank you for sharing.
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Timeless post, dear John. Strangely enough, years pass but nothing changes in texting customs. 🤨😐🍤🍤🍤🍻
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So true. Good point, Maria.
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2017? Nothing has changed re: texting.
I would have added not to text sexy pics (sexting). At worst you could wind up being Weiner’s roommate.
Always a laugh reading these lists, John!
😂X 😂X 😂X 😂X
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Thank you, Resa. So glad you like them.
😊X 😊X 😊X 😊X
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Very wise and quite funny, John.
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Thank you, Olga. I’m glad you liked it.
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A most entertaining ten things post, John. I will have to make more of an effort not to appear on your list.
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Robbie. I can’t imagine you doing anything to appear on my list
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Nice
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Thank you.
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