Photo by City Church Christchurch on Unsplash
Since the Superbowl is this weekend, I thought I would pull some advice from a January 26th, 2015 post. It all seems to be relevant.
Top Ten Things Not to Do at a Super Bowl Celebration
10 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not arrive wearing team clothing for a team that is not playing. If you do, at best, everyone will think you are a sore loser or are drunk. At worst, the crowd may come to the conclusion you’ve had a stroke or burst aneurysm and call for EMT support, and you will end up watching the game on a fifteen-inch screen next to the nurse’s station while waiting for an attending physician.
9 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, remember that many people like to watch the ads. If you forget and stand in front of the TV during commercial time, at best, you will be called many names in the process of getting you to move. At worst, the most enormous guy in the room wanting to demonstrate his downfield tackling expertise will use you as his dummy.
8 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not carry in your famous crab dip that must be kept at forty-two degrees or become a hazardous waste site. If you do, at best, the temp will stay near the required amount, and only one or two will be overcome. At worst, there will be no way to keep the dip cold enough, and you will have singlehandedly wiped out a full production day on Monday for several of the attendees, not to mention hurried trips to the ER for a prophylactic pump of the stomach
7 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not believe your host’s offer “to make yourself at home.” If you do, at best, you will be embarrassed when someone asks you to take your feet off the couch. At worst, you will be totally shocked to discover the room you decided to use for a bath is the overflow bathroom for the party, and you will spend a good amount of time under the water.
6 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be tempted to look into any drawers or behind any closed doors. If you do, at best, only the homeowner will notice the disturbed contents. At worst, the host, being a techie nerd, has installed cameras in each room, which playback on the fifty-inch screen that is beside the game screen to the amusement of everyone at the party. (Except the one you came with)
5 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think since the drinks are free, you should help yourself to the point of being over-served. If you do, at best, you might make a complete ass out of yourself, which others will find as typical of a low life. At worst, you will find yourself disoriented while actively looking for the bathroom, which you imagined you have found in the large bureau in the corner of a spare bedroom, shortly before passing out on the carpet.
4 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not think your duty includes eating a portion of everything that is laid out on the buffet table. If you do, at best, several people will believe you have lost your job or recently divorced. At worst, your pile of food will be an indication that you need an intervention, which will be organized to take place after the game, to the embarrassment of you and the person with whom you attended the event.
3 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not be the first to suggest some kind of gambling scheme for the game. If you do, at best, several guests will think you make a living that way. At worst, you will have several disputes around who really won and will be forced to double-pay several to keep the peace.
2 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not become overly obnoxious when your team is ahead. If you do, at best, the lead will be short-lived. At worst, someone will take an exception to your attitude since they feel bad about their team being behind. As much as they have tried to remain under control, as they learned in group therapy sessions, they are just beginning to lose their grip on reality while holding your shirt.
1 If you are attending a Super Bowl celebration, do not even think of driving your car if you have been drinking. If you do, there is no best or worst, just the potential for disaster for you or an innocent bystander.
Fiction Favorites 
Hilarious and informative as usual thank you so much for the cheek stretching exercises. Your posts are a perfect antidote to Monday morning blues! Thank you
LikeLiked by 2 people
What a nice thing to say Cazzy. Your blog has some wonderful posts. I’m going to follow you but know in advance I cannot get to each one since you post so frequently and I don’t have the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well I never remove anything and I don’t expect you to get to everything. Just have a good old poke around I try to categorise everything for ease of use so you can find things easier. So take a dip in my literary ocean and have a swim!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will do so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think #9 has the other side of the coin. Some people want to watch the game, so chatting in front of the tv until commercials come back is very rude.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So true. Thanks, Charles.
LikeLike
All good advice, but you can get tackled if you dare stand in the way of the commercials!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A body check for sure.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sound advice, John.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks, Craig.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good advice, John. Thank goodness I watch the game at home and the only one who has to put up with my behavior is my wife. I know what behavior she can’t stand and avoid it. 😁
LikeLiked by 3 people
You are a smart man, Tim. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was hilarious, John. Thanks for #1 with no best or worst.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I seem to always harp on drinking and driving but I stongly believe in not doing it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊 Always a big worry with my kids when they were old enough to drive. Wrote a contract with them that if they were charged with drinking and driving the next stop would be Hazleton Clinic in Minnesota for a six week program. All three say the threat kept them from doing that and I’m very thankful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If only every parent had that same contract with their teenager.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It saved a lot of nagging and yelling. It was in writing and signed by each party. (There were also other things in it but that was the most severe clause.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I violated number 10, John. Mandatory Super Bowl party during our company’s Annual Meeting. I wore Steelers gear, regardless. Less if they weren’t playing. For six years, the chairman of our Board was a man who grew up in Pittsburgh, so I was safe.
#1 is definitely #1
LikeLiked by 3 people
A Pittsburgh native would never mind the gesture. Yeah #1 is a must. Thanks, Dan.
LikeLiked by 1 person
After reading this post, I sure am glad I don’t watch footfall.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yeah it becomes pretty complex.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Superbowl Sunday usually tops the year for domestic abuse calls. AND for babies conceived. Scary statistics.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s the beer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s the macho.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All good advice, John, except I still might have to break number ten… Lol
LikeLiked by 2 people
Of course, Denise. It is just a guideline anyway
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
You know… I have been to a few Super Bowl parties and there are a number of people who break these rules… Must be why I am going to watch it from my own living room this year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t blame you. That is my preferred location as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Plus, you don’t have to fight over the snacks 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
True. There seems to be enough for everyone. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of the stuff you like, to boot!! 🤣😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup, I’m one of those who likes to watch the ads. Sadly, too many nowadays are displayed online, taking away the excitement and anticipation. Still, it’s rude to block the TV from those who want to enjoy them again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I try not to watch them on-line. I still like the surprise factor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are great! LOLOL And so true (and funny!).
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Kymber. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why are they showing so many ads online already?! Except for the Clydesdale commercials. They are going to make me watch the entire game until they show that commercial. 🤨
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they will, the dirty rats.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I was a kid I had an insatiable curiosity about what was behind cabinet doors in other homes. #6 would have busted me big time. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha ha. One time I was looking for soap in a persons house and opened the medicine cabinet and a ton of stuff fell out. You could not miss the clatter in the sink. Talk about a red face.
LikeLike
I didn’t have it as a kid. I had it just briefly in early adulthood. What I found out me so far off that I have less than no curiosity now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sound advice here, John…which is why I like just hunkering down with Mrs. Chess and watch the game together. Super Bowl parties just distract me from the game…and the commercials, of course!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I agree, Bruce. We just grill a bunch of baby back ribs and have at it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such great advice with a sprinkle of humor! Absolutely worthy and appreciated! #7 Bahaha! Hugs, C
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Cheryl. I’m so glad you liked it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I were to go to the Super Bowl, I think I’d focus on all the culinary treats. They look mighty good. 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes the best part of the Super Bowl is the treats. Thanks, Gwen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve attended these big game shindigs and had to deal with peeps who broke every single one of these rules. Which is why I don’t attend these big game shindigs any longer.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m with you. I don’t go myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That way, we control the TV too. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
And the beer supply.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Muy importante.
LikeLike
Muy, muy importante. Don;t want some slug chugging a VooDoo Ranger like it was a Miller lite
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s sacrilegious is what that is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would say so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For me it’s #9 – I hate it when someone stands in front of the TV during the ads or has a loud conversation! I haven’t been to one of these parties in years, but those ads saved a boring evening many a time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I enjoy the ads too. The game is interesting if it is good.
LikeLike
I think this one if going to be a good one!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lets hope. The Chiefs quarterback is always fun to watch.
LikeLike
If we don’t get distracted by Taylor Swift!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think she ought to sky dive from a B1 bomber trailing smoke and land on the 50 yard line wearing a sequinned jumpsuit just as the lyrics “Rockets red glare” are sung.
LikeLike
This made me cough my coffee!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha ha. Hope you weren’t on the white couch. 😁
LikeLike
Nope! Thank heavens!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good.
LikeLike
#9 definitely applies at our house. Sometimes the ads are better than the game.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes they are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great tips, John. One would think these were no brainers but then I marvel at how many people are clueless. And the there’s me who fell asleep in the 49er game during the famous catch.
I’ve never lived that down🥹
LikeLiked by 3 people
Well it was late.
LikeLiked by 2 people
And for heaven’s sake, don’t mention Brady. I want that name to die a quiet death and never be mentioned again during a Super Bowl
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I won a sweepstakes to a Super Bowl in San Diego between the Raiders and Tampa Bay. It wasn’t a very close game, but everything else about that experience was magical. My wife couldn’t attend, so my son (4th grade) got to accompany me. Interestingly enough, he’s now a college football coach.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I would like to attend a Super Bowl. I’m sure you had a great time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I must add another one to your list. Don’t decide to tell me your bean dip recipe with a tied score and there are thirty seconds left in the game.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Please sit down and let the game finish first.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious and knowledge packed 🤣🤣
LikeLike
Thank you for your lovely comment. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely sir 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
If giving intuitive readings in the back room instead of watching the game counts, I’ve violated eleven of these.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. I love that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was the deep South, too. Trouble.
LikeLiked by 1 person
#9 is a must not do, for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, for sure. Thank you Steve.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent Super Bowl party advice, John. Even if you’re not a football fan, you need to be a little savvy about teams, etc. And food advice (crab dip) is especially helpful!
LikeLike
I remember when they would not broadcast the Super Bowl in the market where it was playing because they thought they’d lose ticket sales. I had to watch Super Bowl III (Joe Namath) at midnight. And they played the actual game in the afternoon with a high school marching band for half time entertainment. I think there was only a half hour pregame show. My how times have changed. Bread and circuses.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is an understatement. The cost of advertising on the Super Bowl has grown along with the ticket prices. Game III was about $11.00 for a general admission. A 30 second spot goes for $7,000,000.
LikeLike
Wonderful post 🌹🌹
LikeLike
Thank you.
LikeLike
Great list!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Rob
LikeLiked by 1 person