This post ran on April 30th, 2018. It still provides good advice on handling Murphy’s law.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do According to Murphy’s Law.
The inspiration for this list was thinking of all the things we do on a daily basis that someone else has done before. This naturally brought up the idea of mistakes and how often they are repeated throughout history. Then, the thought turned to specific laws governing natural phenomena. An example would be Newton’s law of gravity. “What goes up, Must come down” was inspired by an apple falling on Newton’s head. (or so the story goes.) Finally, turning to other laws prompted the inspection of specific laws, particularly Murphy’s. The law, “What can go wrong will.” After all, some of the laws of science are way too boring for this kind of blog. I hope you enjoy it.
10 According to Murphy’s Law, do not drop a much-needed and irreplaceable hex screw being installed in your current project. If you do, at best it will roll under the bench. At worst, it will drop into a drain opening, never to be seen again. (Might as well buy another widget for $300.00, Etienne. You’ll never be able to buy a replacement screw that would be ten cents if available.)
9 According to Murphy’s Law, do not buy that horse. If you do, at best, you love it forever. At worst, you’ll want to sell it, and there are no buyers. (The sad part, Emeril, is it will outlive you.)
8 According to Murphy’s Law, do not pick a fight with Tiny, the WWF champ. If you do, at best, Tiny has achieved a new state of Nirvana and will bless you. At worst, you have to come to grips with the fact you are no Bruce Lee. (Looks like those running shoes will get another great workout today, Ellison. You go, man.)
7 According to Murphy’s Law, do not handle that expensive crystal vase. If you do, at best, you catch it before it hits the floor. At worst, before you can even think of an excuse, you hear, “What was that breaking sound?” (You should have memorized Murphy’s constant, Eduard. “Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.”)
6 According to Murphy’s Law, do not park your car on the street. If you do, at best, you‘ll only have bird-dropping problems. At worst, that Russian Satellite reentering the Earth’s atmosphere conveniently has your car coordinates as a landing site. (You could never imagine this happening, Earvin. That piece of space junk was supposed to burn up. Murphy’s law of falling objects had this covered with “A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.”)
5 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to paint a room without an adequate cover on the carpet. If you do, at best, you’ll catch every drip. At worst, you’ll only discover the dried paint drips after being pointed out by the person who told you to use an adequate cover. (Good luck, Emil, at the carpet store and that overnight arrangement in the spare room.)
4 According to Murphy’s Law, do not be careless with that expensive power tool while on a twelve-foot ladder. If you do, at best, when it falls, the cord will hook on something and prevent ground contact. At worst, you’ll be working over concrete, and the cord does not hook to prevent ground contact. (So Father’s Day will be here before you know it, Edmond. Of course, maybe the family is tired of replacing expensive power tools.)
3 According to Murphy’s Law, do not think you can make up time on the freeway because you are late. If you do, at best, there will be light traffic. At worst, that eighteen-wheeler turned over, blocking all lanes, is just ahead —after you enter the freeway. (Well, now, Eachan. You might as well turn off the car and relax. The traffic central says the police need to investigate before moving anything. That job interview can be rescheduled. Aw, too bad your phone is dead, and you forgot your charging cord.)
2 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to explain the now quiet noise in your car’s engine to the mechanic. If you do, at best, you will cause more confusion. At worst, your mechanic will replace the most expensive element of your engine using your noise as justification. (You are not surprised that the noise returns after you get a block from the mechanic’s garage, are you, Eagan?)
1 According to Murphy’s Law, do not try to tear that paper towel with one hand. If you do, at best, you’ll end up with shreds. At worst, that spill you are trying to contain will have seeped onto the floor to form a permanent stain in the wood. (I guess you should have known, Eamonn, that according to Murphy’s law, paper is strongest at the perforation.)
Fiction Favorites 
Murphy really is a jerk.
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Ha ha ha. Indeed.
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Murphy’s Law seems to be very much alive and well, John… Hilarious post!
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Thak you, Jaye. I’m glad you got a laugh.
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The perfect was to start the day…
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😊
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[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do According to Murphy’s Law […]
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Thank you for sharing my post.
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Good ones, John. And a quick recap of family history and recent news proves the post is still valid.
10 – Our first cat hid a tiny black screw for a set of fireplace doors under a large rug. Nothing close at the hardware store.
6 – Someone just had a hunk of ISS trash fall through the roof and upper floor of their house.
3 – Gasoline tanker fire (caused by a guy racing to merge) close I-95 in Norwalk, CT in both directions late last week. Maybe for days!
I hope you have a good week.
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Thanks for the report, Dan. We have to be vigilant regarding Murphy’s law. Stay safe.
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It would appear that Murphy’s Law has an infinite number of provisions about what could (and will) go wrong.
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The basic tenet of what can go wrong will does apply to a number of situations. 😁
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Does it ever!
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Yes, indeed.
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Ah, Murphy. I know him well.
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Me too, Craig. 😁
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Number 10 is still a constant occurrence here! I would never pick a fight with Tiny, but that paper towel roll continues to become a moving obstacle rolling away at the speed of light of I dare try to pull a sheet off one-handed!!
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I just tried a one handed pull. Need another roll. Thanks GP.
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Told ya so….
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Shoulda listened to you.
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When will you ever learn? 🙄
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I know right?
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I started laughing at #10, and had to collect myself before reading on. For #9, you could substitute car, boat, or piece of rental property. And so it goes; Murphy apparently is alive and well!
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What do think Murphy would say about walking on varnish. It will dry indirectly
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I didn’t finish before send was hit. Varnish will dry at a speed indirectly proportional to how soon the boat is needed for charter
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Good advice, John. It is logical to take what can go wrong into account, according to Augustus De Morgan.
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Very logical Tim. Thank you. 😊
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These resonate! As for tearing a sheet of paper towel with one hand – you always get 2-3. As for trying to make up time on the highway when you’re late – I almost got a ticket for that. The HP officer didn’t believe me when I told him I’d never had a ticket, and he went and looked in all the states I’d lived in. Came back convinced and just gave me a warning that something was wrong with the sticker on my license plate.
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Lucky. I told a HP officer that I hadn’t had a ticket in 40 years. As he handed me my ticket he wished me another 40 years. Of course I was doing 120 in a 70 zone. He made it 81 in a 70. 😊
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I guess I had a more understanding officer. Maybe I batted my eyelashes at him? And no stoppages since then!
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I was glad for the ticket. The other if pressed would have been jail time.
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Uh oh…
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😊
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More fun and truths to chuckle about. No wonder I have so many stains on my wooden floor🥹💕
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I think we all do. Thanks, Cindy 😊
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All good advice,John:)
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Thank you, Denise. 😁
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#2 happens every time! Good ones, John!
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Thank you, Jan. I think most of these happen. 😁
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I love #7!! As the one who had to ‘fess up when she broke Mama’s sugar bowl, I know it’s a true-ism. I’m just lucky the thing wasn’t Waterford crystal!
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I guess breaking a sugar bowl is universal. Thanks Debbie.
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You too? At least I was spared sugar sprinkling all over the floor!
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No i had a full blown explosion. We crunched through sugar for days.
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Lol.. I do get the kitchen towel thing especially when you have just spilt hot milk all over the hob….great list John.
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Yes it is a sad state. My one handed attempt usually comes when I have coffee or a dog in the other hand.
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Lol, I know all about one-handed torn paper towel. 🙂
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Too often I experience the massive unroll. Thanks, Debby.
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Lolol 🙂
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😁
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With #6, the birds find us no matter where we park. They also really seem to like our mailbox.
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Yeah that is bird fun for sure.
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Got a laugh out of the hex screw. Been there, done that. Not only do they always seem to roll under some 500 pound monstrosity, but I can’t see worth a darn.
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I have the same problem.
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Those are fun examples of Murphy’s law but I remember a scene from the movie Interstellar where Murphy asked her dad why they named her after something bad and he sad Murphy’s law is not bad. It is misunderstood. What it really means is that anything that can happen eventually will happen including events that we consider bad. But it includes both good and bad.
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A very positive view for sure. The law itself states, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” So I think the girl has a point.
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I can’t disagree with any of these.
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Thank you, Jacqui. 😁
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I swear there are certain periods in my life where Murphy and I are like 🤞🏻 – and he does everything in his power to make sure I drop, spill, trip… sigh!
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Like a dropped mayo bottle lid lands in the biggest pile of dust inside down.
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Lordy! I’ve done the mayo sans the pile of dust – that was plenty gross enough!!
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I can imagine.
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😊
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And this’s still a winner, John! Well done. Sure wish that Murphy guy would just stop being such a jerk. 🙃
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Ha ha ha. He has isolated some interesting things about life. Thanks, Monika.
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Scary but useful list, dear John! Thank you!🍤🍤🍤🍻
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Yes it is. Thanks, Maria. 😁
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Hmmmmm, buying a horse or picking a fight with Tiny is a dead heat. Pun intended.
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I like the pun. Good one, Pilgrim.
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😉
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How did Murphy ever get so many believers?
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Folks found he was right about so many things. 😁
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Unfortunately true. 😅
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😊
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Murphy never got the attention he deserved for discovering this most important theory of life. Newton and Einstein are overrated.
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I agree. Folks don’t understand his contribution to society
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In Reference to noelleg44’s comment above.
“I guess I had a more understanding officer. Maybe I batted my eyelashes at him?”
I tried that and the cop ordered me to get out of the car and handcuffed me. After a night in jail, I was let go with a warning to never do that again.
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You were lucky to get off with a warning. And thank god you didn’t try showing a little leg.
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