Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Have a Lousy Boss

~ John W. Howell
Photo by Harry Cunningham on Unsplash

 

This post ran on August 11th, 2014. I’m sure there are still lousy bosses out there. I hope you enjoy it.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Have a Lousy Boss

10. If you have a lousy boss, do not try to curry favor. If you do, at best, your co-workers will shun you. At worst, the boss may think you are a big ass suck-up and have no respect for you whatsoever. ( Okay, so you are a big assed suck-up, Buford. Be more discrete.)

9. If you have a lousy boss, do not wish a cheery good morning. If you do, at best, the boss will think you are shallow. At worst, the boss will not appreciate your greeting since all days are bad in the boss’s opinion. (You might try a growl next time, Berry. It works for the boss’s wife.)

8. If you have a lousy boss, do not volunteer to plan an event. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed in the boss’s disapproval of how the event went. At worst, your permanent record will have an entry about poor planning skills. (The idea of serving mimosas at the coffee break went a little far, Buster.)

7. If you have a lousy boss, do not talk to the boss at company functions. If you do, at best, the boss with think you are sucking up. At worst, the boss will allow paranoid feelings to influence the decision to move you to the basement mop closet. (Try to stay on the other side of the room, Brent. If the boss wants you, he will waggle his finger.)

6. If you have a lousy boss, do not ask a question at meetings. If you do, at best, your co-workers will think you are sucking up. At worst, the boss will take your question as a personal attack on the company’s objectives and record this lack of loyalty for your next review. (If questions are needed to be asked, Jerry, the boss, will ask them.)

5. If you have a lousy boss, do not take normal coffee breaks. If you do, at best, the boss will think you are not motivated. At worst, the boss will assume you are leading a plot with your co-workers to undermine the boss’s authority. (Bring a Yeti cup from home, Warren. Who has to know it’s gin and tonic.”

4. If you have a lousy boss, do not get caught talking to the boss’s boss at a company function. If you do at best, the boss will allow the paranoid feeling to influence your next pay raise. At worst, the boss will have a private discussion with the boss’s boss on the need to develop a performance plan to get you back on track. (I know the boss’s boss called you over, Jess. You should have just passed out. It would have been easier in the long run.)

3. If you have a lousy boss, do not expect praise and reward for a well-done job. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed since the boss believes all good things are a result of excellent management of you. At worst, the boss will find out how disappointed you are and will make a note in your file about your weakness as a team player. (The only reward for a job well done is keeping the job, Hubert. Rewards are in heaven)

2. If you have a lousy boss, do not think the invitation to join a special team is an honor. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed to find out the boss just needed some folks to do extra work. At worst, you will learn the special team is being held accountable and chartered to correct some screw-ups done by another special team appointed by the boss.( The hint about the viability of the special team is that all the players are on probation, Randy. Welcome to the after-school detention center.)

1. If you have a lousy boss, do not feel comfortable going on vacation. If you do, at best, you may be interrupted by annoying phone calls. At worst, you will not be interrupted but will come back to find your job function has changed, with another forty hours of work added to your current load. (You’ve heard the boss say, “Vacation is for losers.” So ask yourself why are you surprised by the outcome, Frank?)

 

85 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Have a Lousy Boss”

  2. The worst bosses I ever had usually had been promoted to that job without any knowledge of it, so # 2 fits them quite often on the job (and the crew-ups were all done by him and her)!!

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  3. There are many bosses, but there are precious few good bosses. And yeah, meetings are a sign of how well run the joint is. From my experience, the more meetings we have, the worse off we are. It’s a very delicate situation.

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  5. I had one truly lousy boss, John. Many of these would have been good advice, too many to note. I couldn’t avoid breaking some of these, including number four.

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      1. The big boss asked if I wanted to join him and two others to walk for coffee. I did. My boss came into my office and said, “I see you joined the opposing team.”

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  6. I had a boss once who announced to us (we were a small group of four in R&D) that he had been called to see the General Manager. His parting shot? The GM will either congratulate me on a job well done, or he’ll thank the group for an adequate performance. He then pointed to (thankfully not me) and added: Or YOU…

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      1. He must have a ‘cousin’ in Denver. The DNA was similar. I’d worked with all kinds of bosses for 25 years at the firm and had a very good reputation but he was a real piece of work. Even his colleagues acknowledged it when I left.

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  12. Uh oh, I’m having Psycho Boss flashbacks. The worst was when this person screamed at me for something I did wrong, and I did came back with, “I did exactly what you told me to do.” The answer? “I expected you to do what I HOPED you would do, not what I TOLD you to do.”

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  13. Great advice, John. I had the worst of the worst departmental chairs in the years before I retired. He told me to shut up in a meeting, gave me tons of useless work in the years before I retired and demeaned me in public. He forced physically disabled faculty to teach classes where they had to stand up for hours. He eventually got fired for misuse of departmental funds, but as will all academics like him, he advanced – to a named professorship at the U of Texas.

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  15. No. 3 resonates with me in this well-crafted list, John. Having had my share (perhaps more than my share?) of lousy bosses, I’m delighted to finally work for myself. It’s not for everyone, but it’s been a blessing for me!

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  16. So many lousy bosses, so little time. My last boss liked nothing better than to jab a finger (or a pen) in your face to make a point. I came **this close** to grabbing said finger/pen until I complained to a higher-up. He did it for me. He didn’t like my boss, either. 😆

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        2. He was such an asshole, to be honest. The guy he replaced was such a fabulous guy. This one came in and the whole atmosphere of the office went down the toilet. Only time in my life I burned my bridges.

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