Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Have a Lousy Boss

Photo by Harry Cunningham on Unsplash

 

This post ran on August 11th, 2014. I’m sure there are still lousy bosses out there. I hope you enjoy it.

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Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Have a Lousy Boss

10. If you have a lousy boss, do not try to curry favor. If you do, at best, your co-workers will shun you. At worst, the boss may think you are a big ass suck-up and have no respect for you whatsoever. ( Okay, so you are a big assed suck-up, Buford. Be more discrete.)

9. If you have a lousy boss, do not wish a cheery good morning. If you do, at best, the boss will think you are shallow. At worst, the boss will not appreciate your greeting since all days are bad in the boss’s opinion. (You might try a growl next time, Berry. It works for the boss’s wife.)

8. If you have a lousy boss, do not volunteer to plan an event. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed in the boss’s disapproval of how the event went. At worst, your permanent record will have an entry about poor planning skills. (The idea of serving mimosas at the coffee break went a little far, Buster.)

7. If you have a lousy boss, do not talk to the boss at company functions. If you do, at best, the boss with think you are sucking up. At worst, the boss will allow paranoid feelings to influence the decision to move you to the basement mop closet. (Try to stay on the other side of the room, Brent. If the boss wants you, he will waggle his finger.)

6. If you have a lousy boss, do not ask a question at meetings. If you do, at best, your co-workers will think you are sucking up. At worst, the boss will take your question as a personal attack on the company’s objectives and record this lack of loyalty for your next review. (If questions are needed to be asked, Jerry, the boss, will ask them.)

5. If you have a lousy boss, do not take normal coffee breaks. If you do, at best, the boss will think you are not motivated. At worst, the boss will assume you are leading a plot with your co-workers to undermine the boss’s authority. (Bring a Yeti cup from home, Warren. Who has to know it’s gin and tonic.”

4. If you have a lousy boss, do not get caught talking to the boss’s boss at a company function. If you do at best, the boss will allow the paranoid feeling to influence your next pay raise. At worst, the boss will have a private discussion with the boss’s boss on the need to develop a performance plan to get you back on track. (I know the boss’s boss called you over, Jess. You should have just passed out. It would have been easier in the long run.)

3. If you have a lousy boss, do not expect praise and reward for a well-done job. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed since the boss believes all good things are a result of excellent management of you. At worst, the boss will find out how disappointed you are and will make a note in your file about your weakness as a team player. (The only reward for a job well done is keeping the job, Hubert. Rewards are in heaven)

2. If you have a lousy boss, do not think the invitation to join a special team is an honor. If you do, at best, you will be disappointed to find out the boss just needed some folks to do extra work. At worst, you will learn the special team is being held accountable and chartered to correct some screw-ups done by another special team appointed by the boss.( The hint about the viability of the special team is that all the players are on probation, Randy. Welcome to the after-school detention center.)

1. If you have a lousy boss, do not feel comfortable going on vacation. If you do, at best, you may be interrupted by annoying phone calls. At worst, you will not be interrupted but will come back to find your job function has changed, with another forty hours of work added to your current load. (You’ve heard the boss say, “Vacation is for losers.” So ask yourself why are you surprised by the outcome, Frank?)

 

85 comments

  1. Cindy Georgakas's avatar

    Growling with nails clawing make good sense. Lol🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  2. GP's avatar

    The worst bosses I ever had usually had been promoted to that job without any knowledge of it, so # 2 fits them quite often on the job (and the crew-ups were all done by him and her)!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Great observation GP. What you say fits every bad boss I have had.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorryless's avatar

    There are many bosses, but there are precious few good bosses. And yeah, meetings are a sign of how well run the joint is. From my experience, the more meetings we have, the worse off we are. It’s a very delicate situation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I had the same experience. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Charles Yallowitz's avatar

    Geez. These all ring true, which makes me wonder why there are so many terrible bosses out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Bad bosses usually beget bad bosses.

      Like

  5. Dan Antion's avatar

    I had one truly lousy boss, John. Many of these would have been good advice, too many to note. I couldn’t avoid breaking some of these, including number four.

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I got into a situation of talking to the bosses boss. I was totally dumbfounded when the boss accused me of going behind his back. I don’t think his boss liked him very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dan Antion's avatar

        The big boss asked if I wanted to join him and two others to walk for coffee. I did. My boss came into my office and said, “I see you joined the opposing team.”

        Like

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Just then you would feel like the guy standing against the wall having his last cigarette.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Keith Edgar Channing's avatar

    I had a boss once who announced to us (we were a small group of four in R&D) that he had been called to see the General Manager. His parting shot? The GM will either congratulate me on a job well done, or he’ll thank the group for an adequate performance. He then pointed to (thankfully not me) and added: Or YOU…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Yes thankfully the point was in a different direction.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. coldhandboyack's avatar

    This reads just like the playbook at my workplace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I think most workplaces. I am so glad I’m no longer there.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. T. W. Dittmer's avatar

    Yes, indeed! Keep in mind why lousy bosses do the things they do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I was never able to figure out the why. Didn’t seem to make sense. Thanks, Tim.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. T. W. Dittmer's avatar

        The way they act is not for the benefit of the company or its products, but for their own benefit.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Teri Polen's avatar

    I had to laugh at that cat’s expression. Reminds me of Bond when he’s in a foul mood!

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Yes the expression of foul mood was intended. Thanks, Teri

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Tails Around the Ranch's avatar

    Just thinking about my last (and lousy) boss, makes me twitch with PTSD. Very thankful those cruel days are over. If only Yeti cups were around back then! LOL

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      My last was the reason I retired. Pure evil.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tails Around the Ranch's avatar

        He must have a ‘cousin’ in Denver. The DNA was similar. I’d worked with all kinds of bosses for 25 years at the firm and had a very good reputation but he was a real piece of work. Even his colleagues acknowledged it when I left.

        Like

  11. shoreacres's avatar

    Since I’m my own boss, this list is a wonderful reminder of why the decision to begin my own business was a great one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I sure your business gives you a lot of satisfaction. You have the best boss.

      Like

  12. Liz Gauffreau's avatar

    Uh oh, I’m having Psycho Boss flashbacks. The worst was when this person screamed at me for something I did wrong, and I did came back with, “I did exactly what you told me to do.” The answer? “I expected you to do what I HOPED you would do, not what I TOLD you to do.”

    Like

    1. lois's avatar

      holy moley! Psycho Boss expected you to be a mindreader, too. That’s nuts.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Liz Gauffreau's avatar

        Needless to say, the staff turnover rate was quite high.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. John W. Howell's avatar

      Whoa. You worked for the Riddler.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Liz Gauffreau's avatar

        Needless to say, I quit without another job.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Yes, I hope so.

          Liked by 1 person

  13. noelleg44's avatar

    Great advice, John. I had the worst of the worst departmental chairs in the years before I retired. He told me to shut up in a meeting, gave me tons of useless work in the years before I retired and demeaned me in public. He forced physically disabled faculty to teach classes where they had to stand up for hours. He eventually got fired for misuse of departmental funds, but as will all academics like him, he advanced – to a named professorship at the U of Texas.

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I think you take the cake for the worst today.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Gwen M. Plano's avatar
    Gwen M. Plano · ·

    As only a great employee can attest. . . This is a very relatable list, John. 🙂

    Like

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Ha ha ha. Thanks, Gwen. 😁

      Like

  15. Debbie's avatar

    No. 3 resonates with me in this well-crafted list, John. Having had my share (perhaps more than my share?) of lousy bosses, I’m delighted to finally work for myself. It’s not for everyone, but it’s been a blessing for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      That is good to hear. At least you have a great boss now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Debbie's avatar

        I’m not sure about “great.” Sometimes, she’s entirely too lenient; other times, she’s a tyrant, ha! But at least she’s me!

        Liked by 1 person

  16. lois's avatar

    So many lousy bosses, so little time. My last boss liked nothing better than to jab a finger (or a pen) in your face to make a point. I came **this close** to grabbing said finger/pen until I complained to a higher-up. He did it for me. He didn’t like my boss, either. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      No excuse for that, Lois. Glad you reported the abuse.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Dale's avatar

    So you met one of my ex-bosses, have you? His idea of getting you to work harder was to tell you how bad you were. Motivation was not his strong suit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Yeah that sound like the worst way to get people to work harder.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale's avatar

        The crazy thing is that’s how HE was motivated. I dunno. I don’t work well under hits on the head…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Dale's avatar

          He was such an asshole, to be honest. The guy he replaced was such a fabulous guy. This one came in and the whole atmosphere of the office went down the toilet. Only time in my life I burned my bridges.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. John W. Howell's avatar

          Those kind are the worst.

          Liked by 1 person

        3. Dale's avatar

          Seriously. I’d out him at the top of my worst bosses.

          Liked by 1 person

        4. John W. Howell's avatar

          He is probably a miserably unhappy person.

          Liked by 1 person

        5. Dale's avatar

          Was and is.

          Liked by 1 person

  18. Esther Chilton's avatar

    I’ve had a few lousy bosses in my time so I could relate to this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I had a few myself. Thanks, Esther.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. D. Wallace Peach's avatar

    Oh goodness. Some of these are so true, John. They remind me of my years working in business. I always found flattery effective with lousy bosses, at least most of them (and I had a few!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I never found flattery to be useful. Usually outlast worked.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. D. Wallace Peach's avatar

        Could be a gender thing. Crappy bosses during my career were mostly men because all the bosses were men. Erk. Lol.

        Like

  20. Author Jan Sikes's avatar

    Another ten reasons to love retirement!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. thomasstigwikman's avatar

    Most of my bosses have been good bosses but I’ve encountered bad ones. It is not fun. Good advice!

    Like

  22. Marie A Bailey's avatar

    Such a great list! I’m so glad I don’t have a boss at all anymore 🙂

    Like

  23. srbottch's avatar

    I’ve seen a few of those ‘butt kissers’ in my time. Not a pretty sight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Not pretty for sure. Thanks, Steve.

      Like

  24. Michele Lee's avatar

    Oh, this amusing list brought back some memories! 😅 I am blessed to work for and with a saint now. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Saintly bosses are a blessing for sure. I work for myself and even I can’t say my boss is a saint.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. petespringer's avatar
    petespringerauthor · ·

    Rule #1 Be discreet in your sucking up to the boss. 🤣

    Fortunately, 80% of the bosses I had were excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      80% is a great number. Thanks, Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Laura's avatar

    Excellent, and hilarious because it’s all so true! You’ve perhaps had a few lousy bosses in your lifetime, haven’t you? 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Thank you so much, Laura. Yes I have to say I did have a few klunkers. Thanks for the visit. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Laura's avatar

        You’re most welcome! It was a pleasure to meet you today 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. John W. Howell's avatar

          Thank you. 😊

          Like

  27. Jennie's avatar

    Great advice, John. I was wise and never sucked up to my few lousy bosses many, many years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      Excellent, Jennie.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Ankur Mithal's avatar

    You should offer this as a mandatory course at Harvard Business School.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      I’m still waiting for an answer to my application from 1964. Thanks, Ankur.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Andrew Joyce's avatar

    You list really brought out all the “bad bosses” stories. Good Job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John W. Howell's avatar

      There are many bad bosses stories. I’ve lived through a quantity of them.

      Like