Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sunday Football Game at Philadelphia in 1933

~ John W. Howell
1933 Eagles

This post was first run on November 11, 2018. From a historical perspective, I thought you would enjoy it since we are all now surrounded by Sunday American Football

Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sunday Football Game at Philadelphia in 1933

10 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not sit next to your parish priest unless you have been to church. If you do, at best, you can take confession right there. At worst, you will be invited to a special service titled Miscreants of the Week. ( Of all the seats in the stadium, you had to pick this one, Farzad.)

9 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not forget to tip Tiny, the WWF Champ and now stadium vendor, for your hot dog. If you do, at best, that mustard stain on your back will come out. At worst, Tiny, who believes tips are a showing of love, will think you hate him. (The time to vacate your seat is now, Fedele. That large tray of hot dogs will not rest well when Tiny lets it go in your direction.)

8 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not try to eat a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich and cheer for your team at the same time. If you do, At best, the guy in front of you is wearing a raincoat. At worst, your expelled cheesesteak bite goes down the collar of the police chief in the row in front of you. (I don’t think you can explain this as an accident, Felicien. Good luck on your first night in jail)

7 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not cause yourself to be over-celebrating on your carry-in hooch just because the blue laws in Pennsylvania allowed Sunday sports. If you do, at best, you’ll find someone to take you home. At worst, you will need an ironclad excuse for spending the night in the bleachers. (Gotta wonder why none of the cleaning crew found you, huh, Fenris.)

6 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not sit in the Chicago section wearing your Eagles jersey. If you do, at best, the fans around you think you have a mental condition. At worst, as the game progresses, someone may get the idea to remove you by crowd-surfing you over the lip of the Baker Bowl stadium. (It is a long fall from the top to the parking lot, Ferke. Flapping your arms may help a little.)

5 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not think you don’t have to pay off your bet because the score was tied at 3 and 3. If you do, at best, the bookie considers your bet too small to collect. At worst, your bookie is the kind who believes any no-pay is a matter of honor. ( Those cement overshoes are styling, Fidal. They might prove to hamper treading water, though.)

4 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not blow your large and loud horn to cheer on your team. If you do, at best, you’ll be sitting alone. At worst, your fellow participants will tire of losing their hats, hair, and hearing and will stuff your horn where the sun don’t shine. (I know I’m surprised as well, Finnbar. I think that high-decibel honk is terrific. It might be better on a MAC truck, though.)

3 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not ask your neighbor to share their popcorn. If you do, at best, the corn will be gone. At worst, your neighbor has just been diagnosed with the flu and is happy to share. (Don’t worry, Fionn. In the 30s, the flu only took maybe half of those diagnosed. Oh, look, a guy in a black hoodie carrying a scythe. I don’t see any hay that needs cutting, do you?)

2 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not run out and attempt to ring the Liberty Bell to count the first field goal points. If you do, at best, the Liberty Bell Center in Independence National Historic Park will be closed on Sunday. At worst, your attempt at goodwill has been seen as a terrorist act. (You’ve earned yourself a nice cozy room in Guantanamo, Firmann. I have no idea why it is so dark there.)

1 At the first Sunday football game in Philadelphia, do not dispute how the Eagles got their name. If you do, at best, there was no money on the fact that they got their name from the Blue Eagle, which was a symbol of economic recovery during the Franklin Roosevelt administration. At worst, you need to walk home since you put your car up to back your bet that the Eagles were named after the great American Bald Eagle. (You could have been right, too, Flanagan. You might try putting your thumb out. Maybe some hapless fool will give you a lift.)

 

81 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do at the First Sunday Football Game at Philadelphia in 1933”

  1. Good list, John. Personally, I’m more worried about the next football game in Philadelphia. I won’t be there in person, but if it would help Pittsburgh’s chances, I’d be happy to send Tiny a tip.

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  19. It’s fun to look back at what qualified as football equipment (those funkly helmets that probably didn’t protect their noggins too well) in those days. While the athletes are bigger, faster, and stronger now, theur epuiment is much better.

    My nephew played in an old-school baseball league with the small gloves and the rules of the day.

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  23. About number 3. The mortality rate from influenca has really gone down a lot. Maybe it wasn’t 30% but I read that it was 0.1% in 1930’s and has since then gone down to 0.00056% in recent years. Healthcare has gotten better.

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