Top Ten Things Not to do When Commuting to Work by Car

~ John W. Howell
Photo by RayBay on Unsplash

 

This post, co-authored by Marie Bailey, ran on November 6, 2013. Since people still commute to work, it should be relevant.

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Top Ten Things Not to do When Commuting to Work by Car

10  When commuting to work by car, do not apply mascara or use an electric razor  while driving. If you do, at best, you’ll have smudges or missed spots. At worse, you might wind up with a mascara brush sticking out of your eye or a long shave up the side of the head as you slam on the brake to avoid hitting the car in front of you. (Good luck at the meeting.)

9  When commuting to work by car don’t drive like James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.  If you do, at best, you’ll just wind up stopped at the next intersection. At worst, you’ll wind up alongside the road being attended to by a traffic officer eager to make his quota early and being on display for all the folks you passed.

8  When commuting to work by car, try not to listen to state or national news on your radio.  If you do listen, at best, you will need to breath deeply. At worst, your fellow commuters will call the local police thinking all those expletives were signs of a nervous breakdown. (Sitting in the back of a police care sure makes those news stories seem insignificant don’t they?)

7  When commuting to work by car, do not think you are encouraging the driver ahead of you to go faster by following them so closely that you can see yourself in their rear view mirror.  If you do, at best, the driver ahead makes no sudden stops. At worst, they quickly step on the brake and cause you to rear-end them.   (Don’t even try to argue the point of who’s fault this accident is. You know it’s yours.)

6  When commuting to work by car, do not try to eat your breakfast and drive at the same time.  If you do, at best, you’ll just gross people out when they see you stuff a double-Egg McMuffin in your mouth.  At worst, the coffee you start to sip will wind up all over your nice white shirt or blouse when you suddenly have to step on the brake to avoid hitting someone pulling out of a McDonald’s in front of you. (Seemed like a good idea while in the drive through.)

5   When commuting to work by car, avoid the temptation to pick your nose, pop a pimple, or check your teeth while waiting for a green light.  If you can’t avoid the temptation, At best, no one will see you. At worst, the other commuters viewing your activities will be attending customer meeting that you have scheduled that morning. (Too bad you grossed out your important customers)

4  When commuting to work by car, do not try to read The Wall Street Journal or finish reading the last chapter of  the book you can’t put down.  If you do, at best, you are fully aware of surrounding traffic.  At worst, you’ll never get to finish the book because the traffic cop saw you reading, pulled you over, and then confiscated your book (How were you to know it was on his TBR list?)

3  When commuting to work by car, do not think there will be no traffic when you’re running 15 minutes late for a meeting with the CEO of your company.  If you do, at best, you make all the lights. At worse, the city utility vehicles will be out in full force, trimming trees and picking up yard waste on every street that is normally part of your commute. (Your commute time is double and your chances of being fired triple)

2  When commuting to work by car, do check your text messages before you get to your office.  At best, you’ll have some near-misses as commuters try to get around you and put distance between your bad driving and theirs.  At worst, the same traffic cop that pulled you over in #4 and #9 will be more than happy to pull you over again since you are single-handedly helping the officer meet a quota.

1. When commuting to work by car, do not treat your driving as a right, but rather as a privilege which can be taken away at any moment for bad behavior.  If you do, at best, you’ll rack up more fines and fees in a month than you pay in car insurance in a year. At worst,  bad driving can lead to bad things happening to other people or to you.  (Be mindful.  Be aware.  Drive safely)

65 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to do When Commuting to Work by Car”

  4. Got a kick out of these, John. I was remembering when I commuted to work. One drizzle and Southern State Pkwy turned into a parking lot!! haha (I can laugh now!)

    Liked by 2 people

      1. When I went college in Norfolk, VA and when I worked as an academic advisor on base, I had to contend with base traffic on I-64. What a nightmare! By the time I got to work, I was so pissed off, I was ready to punch someone in the face. Not the best frame of mind for an advisor.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Just last week I got behind a car doing 20-25 mph in a 45 mph zone. When I passed him I saw that he had a sandwich in one hand and was looking at his phone in the other hand. Either he had a third hand or was steering with his knee. Crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Being dedicated to the art of commuting, Houston drivers manage to do each of these: sometimes simultaneously. They seem to have missed the “not” in each of your points. No one needs to go to a casino; just getting on the freeways is enough of a gamble.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think I drove behind so many of these people on my way into work, John. Can you say, ‘happily retired?’ Oh, yeah!

    Like

  12. Thank the good Lord I don’t have to do this. I think I would go insane if I had to commute to work in this Dallas traffic nightmare. All sound advice. 🙂 And who knew cops would have a TBR list. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. All great suggestions! And I’ve seen all of these transgressions over the years.

    We have a law now forbidding texting or talking on your cell phone (unless hands free) while driving here in NC. Do drivers obey the law – of course not!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. All good advice, John:) I have had mascara incidents on the way to work back in the day and agree it’s to avoid!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. These were great, John! In all the years I worked, I tried to make sure I was close enough whereby I could either walk or take public transportation. To this day I still chuckle about all those women who applied makeup while riding on the bus. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’ve seen almost all of these at one time or another. Stay safe out there! Your post reminds of the times I’ve tried to carpool with people in the past. Great idea, short-lived.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. #1 is certainly important. Regarding #7, tailgating is certainly bad. The only case I know of where someone hitting someone from behind is not considered their fault is if the car in front did a brake check (intentionally cutting someone off and slamming the brakes). I’ve seen people do that in road rage incidents.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. And, if you are driving in Montreal at this time of the year, you can’t do anything but keep your eyes peeled on the road directly in front because the pot holes are something else!!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. It’s early Sunday morning. I’m on my way home after a night of debauchery. I’m the only one on the road. Suddenly, a car passes me, a young girl driving. She’s looking in the rearview mirror putting on makeup.

    I think to myself: That’s not cool. But I’m hungover, so that’s about as much thought as I give it.

    Two minutes later, I pass her. She had taken an exit and plowed into the back of a large truck. The idiot truck driver had stopped halfway down an exit ramp because the back tailgate had fallen open. He thought it would be a smart idea to just stop right where he was because there was no traffic on that lonely Sunday morning. Her car was half the size from when I last saw it.

    The next day, I read about her demise in the local paper. So, I reckon I agree with #10.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. No. 6 is a sensible one I think. Why so much hoopla around talking on the phone while driving but none about eating while driving? You take a big bite of your cheese burger and the car ahead suddenly brakes. What happens???

    Liked by 1 person

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