Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling

~ John W. Howell
Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

 

This post was run in November of 2013 and is co-authored by Marie Ann Bailey. Since summer travel is right around the corner, I think it has some merit.

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling

10  If you decide to drive your car when traveling, do not pack the trunk and backseat so that all the passengers need supplemental oxygen to stay alive.

9  While traveling in the car, do not think your favorite onion and Limburger cheese sandwiches will go unnoticed when you go for a snack. If you do, you may find yourself on the roof with grandmother.

8  If you are the designated driver for a portion of the trip, do not think you can rest your eyes for even a moment. If you do, you may find permanent rest as well as a handsome marker on the side of the highway with your name on it.

7   If you should experience a flat tire while driving on a trip, do not attempt to instruct your spouse or traveling companion on the intricacies of changing a tire while you stand-off to the side observing. If you do, you may be wearing the spare for the rest of the journey.

6   If you decide to take an airplane when traveling, do not try to tell security why your religion forbids taking off your shoes. If you do, you may find a full body search applied as the viable alternative.

5  When on an airplane while traveling, do not call a flight attendant by repeatedly pressing the flight attendant call button. If you do, your reward may just be a visit from Mr. Coffee in your lap.

4  When on an airplane while traveling, do not complain loudly and frequently about the lack of food or water. If you do, the flight crew might insure that you may get the same experience as you would on the ground at Guantanamo.

3  When on an airplane while traveling, do not attempt to recline your seat without asking the person behind you if it is OK. If you don’t ask, the passenger behind you may choose to see you later in the terminal where no air marshals are present.

2   When getting off the airplane and you are seated in the back row, do not try to push your way forward while other people are trying to retrieve their carry-on bags. If you do, you chance being kidnapped by Somali pirates and held for ransom. (Oh, if it only worked that way.)

1  When walking as a group through the air terminal while traveling, do not walk five abreast while counting the steps to baggage claim to see who wins the bet. If you do, here’s hoping a baggage cart slides sideways trying to stop, but connects with your group like you are ten-pins in a bowling alley.

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Published by John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

80 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do When Traveling”

  1. The tipp with the Limburger cheese and the onion sandwich is very important. 😉 Especially the digestive aftereffects reminiscent of a war attack.Especially the digestive aftereffects reminiscent of a war attack.. Thanks, John! Best wishes, Michael

    Liked by 1 person

  3. For all the reasons you’ve mentioned – and more – public transit is often something to endure. Staying focused on the destination helps me — and ear plugs. 🌞

    Liked by 1 person

  5. There has to be an exception made for #10 during hurricane evacuations. I rather wish I had a photo of my car during the evacuation for Ike — with both my mother and the cat in tow.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am a road trip kinda gal, but your post made me think of that scene in a movie that for the life of me I cannot remember, but the old man is sitting in the front seat of the car and reads every single billboard they pass–out loud. The driver is about to lose it after about the third sign. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. For #9, I remember on one of our road trips Son #2 ordered extra onions on his sandwich from Subway. Through watery eyes, we were all rolling down the windows. Definitely don’t recommend.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Given what’s been happening on planes lately, these are mild, although very good, cautions. I might add

    Do not drape your hair over the back of your airplane seat.

    Do not take off your shoes and socks and rest your feet on the tray table.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I think you could do a whole ten things not to do on just air travel, John. Though the comment about not eating a onion and Limburger cheese sandwich was pretty funny. Thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. 3  When on an airplane while traveling, do not attempt to recline your seat without asking the person behind you if it is OK. — oh it would be nice if people did that. Sometimes, reclining seats can be very inconvenient for the person behind, such as when they are holding a baby in their lap or are in the middle of eating.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I think many people are prone to violate #2. Perhaps they really are in a hurry (like to catch a connecting flight); more likely, they just assume they’re more important than anybody else on the plane!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I think many people are prone to violate #2. Perhaps they really are in a hurry (like to catch a connecting flight); more likely, they just assume they’re more important than anybody else on the plane!

    Like

  23. This post brought back memories of the movie Vacation with Chevy Chase. Aunt Edna attached to the roof of the car was a classic scene.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. #10 hits close to home when I think how we packed when taking the kids to college. Why does a kid need a refrigerator in his room? You’d think he be using its as a beer cooler, or something… wait a minute

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I hope the ten-pins worked. If only everyone were kind to others. The only time kindness happened to me in a huge public group was at the Army Navy football game.

    Liked by 1 person

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