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This post was run on March 31, 2014, and created by Marie Ann Baily and me. I think it might still be good advice.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Bowling, Golfing, Playing Tennis, or Eight Ball with Friends
10 When playing sports with friends, do not laugh at a missed shot. If you do, at best, they may laugh at you in turn. At worst, you may be wearing an embedded racket, club, or bowling ball on your trip to the hospital.
9 When playing sports with friends, do not play doubles with your spouse as a partner. If you do, at best, you will have a small argument about the missed shot. At worst, you might just end up asking your friends for a marriage counselor recommendation before the game is over.
8 When playing sports with friends, do not try to adjust the score to make your team look better. If you do, at best, you will get caught and look foolish. At worst, you may just win as a result of cheating and will need to atone for your indiscretion someday.
7 When playing sports with friends, do not try to avoid paying your fair share of the expenses. If you do, at best, you will be eventually found out and will have to pay anyway. At worst, your friends will figure out a way to stick you with a bill when you least expect it, which will require a bank loan to cover.
6 When playing sports with friends, do not purposefully try to outspend them on equipment and clothing. If you do, at best, your play quality will need to match the price of your clothing and equipment. At worst, your friends will come to some conclusion about your self-esteem, which may or may not be accurate.
5 When playing sports with friends, do not drink too much alcohol, especially if you are playing mixed doubles. If you become over-served, at best, you may be the cause of the team’s loss. At worst, you may just lose all inhibitions and decide to tell your friends and spouse what you really think of their playing ability, which will make for a quiet ride home and a bad morning after.
4 When playing sports with friends, do not come up with the idea to put money on the game. If you do, at best, you will only win a few dollars. At worst, you may lose a few friends.
3 When playing sports with friends, do not set yourself up as the rule cop. If you do, at best, everyone will get tired of your reminders. At worst, you may find yourself gagged and tied up on the twelfth green with a note to the groundskeeper to let you go if you promise not to say anything more about the rules.
2 When playing sports with friends, do not be the one who decides which game to play. If you do, at best, you will be blamed if the events turn out badly. At worst, you might be forced into a role of peacekeeper since everyone will assume the thing went badly because you suggested it.
1 When playing sports with friends, try to remember that the purpose of the game is to have fun. If you don’t, at best, you will be miserable. At worst, all those around you will be miserable as well and may not want to play with you anymore.
Fiction Favorites 
I laughed at #3. If blogging were the game, a slight revision would fit: “Don’t set yourself up as the grammar police.”
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That is a good one, Linda. I’m sure every grammar cop is not liked at all.
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Good list, John!! And definitely don’t scream and through your jacket, bat, ball and scream! 🙀 🙏
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Screaming is definitely out. Thanks, Cindy.
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Playing sports with friends is super complicated!
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And dangerous.
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Fo sho
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Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve played sports with friends/family that all I can remember is the laughter. Of course, we weren’t really keeping score. 🙄 Great list, John. Lots of smiles.
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You are lucky to have only thoughts of laughter. That is a great memory to have. Thanks, Gwen.
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haha, As a kid, I was playing tennis with a friend. Somehow we collided and I fractured a toe. We never did figure out how!
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That would be a mystery, GP. Especially since tennis is not a contact sport. 😀
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Haha. Great list, John. I was always the kid that the two forming teams fought over — they argued over who had to take me. LOL, once the teacher had to break it up and gave me the most incredulous look. I just wasn’t an athlete. 🤓. Hugs.
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I share that trait with you. I was on the high school football team and was a halfback. In one game, the coach was very frustrated and paced the bench. “I want a halfback up here now.” I jumped up and came to his side. His response? “Not you, Howell. I said a halfback.” 😀
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Yep, you get it. I finally persuaded the teacher to let me just walk around the ground that served as our track by myself, rather than have the daily arguments and which side of the school room softball game had to take me. That managed to get everybody’s goat!
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Sounds like a good answer for you. The goat was a bonus.
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Sounds like the perfect reasons to avoid sports all together.
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That is one way to solve any issues. 😀
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7 and 6 threw me off so much. I was thinking of just grabbing a ball from the garage and seeing what happens.
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That is pretty low risk I would say.
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My husband and I broke rule 9 with impunity. We actually didn’t argue over points (we played tennis) but dissected the game later. I think it’s because we had fun!
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That’s the way to play it. Thanks, Noelle,
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Good tips, John. One should remember that sports is just a game, and you don’t want to lose friends because of your pride.
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So true, Tim. Well, that is unless the Spartans are playing Michigan
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😃
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😊
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Might I make a small suggestion. “Rule 9a When playing sports with friends, do not play doubles with your spouse as an opponent.” That’s based on a long ago ex-spouse but I think it’s still valid.
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I would say it is valid, Dan
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I think I’ll just stick to going for a walk on my own…
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Best way to avoid conflict. (Unless someone ahead of you tosses a paper on the ground.)
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Very true, John. You gotta watch out for that.
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😊
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Wise list. I have nothing to add.
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Well, looks like I earned my million bucks today
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Outstanding list. Playing sports with friends can lead to fractured relationships, that’s for certain. What happened to the easy camaraderie sports had for us as little kids??
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Well, little kids grow up and learn to be competitive.
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When my sons and their first cousins were much younger, I remember a fun day of bowling that took a turn for the worst when a couple of them got strikes and others didn’t. Tears were flowing, lol. We had to abandon the game and go home.
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Aw. Sounds tragic for sure.
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#1 is the best, John, and #5 has been known to improve #1, at least for me. Hehe. I’m terrible at sports so there are very low performance expectations to begin with. Everyone knows it’s going to be a silly event before we begin.
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Silly events are the best.
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Your post brought back many memories. Playing volleyball with friends and once being part of a co-ed softball team. We were terrible! 😂 I remember once playing against a team full of prison guards, mostly women. A laughable loss! Thank you, John.
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I loved your story, Michele. I coached a girls’ softball team. Many laughs.
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😁 🙏
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😊
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#9 tennis 40 years ago. Never played with the hubs again.
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Don’t blame you.
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I recently returned from a golfing trip to Lake Tahoe. Unfortunately, I provided way too much entertainment for my buddies with some terrible shots. I never got that good to take it that seriously. We still managed to have a great time.
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That is always a fun time, especially if you are in it for the laughs. Thanks, Pete
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Whew! Lucky for me, I don’t play sports at all.
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Nice share
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Thank you.
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Really funny, John! Thumbs up to #1.
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😀
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Good one, John. Yes, #1…most definitely true, and it is often fueled by #5 and in the case of our mixed softball team, led to a couple of championships back in the day. Now of course, we’d be outed in a second and wouldn’t quite have nearly as much of #1. LOL
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Sounds like it was fun, Monika.
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Yes, we had some great summers with wonderful memories. I still have my trophies 🏆
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😀
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Great suggestions all. A modern-day version might be called for, to cover playing “sports” via a gaming console or on a laptop/ mobile.
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So true, Ankur. Good upgrade.
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Congratulations, John. You finally wrote about something that I can’t relate to in any way, shape, or form.
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Sooner or later, I was bound to hit the mark. So Glad.
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I like the 3rd one ! The rule cop is always despised ! Gagged and tied up should do the trick.
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😀
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