Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay
This list was first published in November 2014. Since bosses still travel and go on vacation, it may come in handy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Your Boss Is Traveling or on Vacation
10 If the boss is out of the office, do not think your workload has been reduced for the length of time the boss is gone. If you do, at best, you will get away with the slowdown. At worst, you will be asked by the boss for the status of your projects first thing in the morning of the boss’s return.
9 If the boss is out of the office, do not think you will make brownie points with your boss’s boss. If you do, at best, your boss’s boss will assume you are an opportunist. At worst, the boss’s boss just might give you a ton of extra projects to complete before your boss gets back.
8 If the boss is out of the office, do not think it is your job to be the new boss. If you do, at best, your co-workers will ignore you. At worst, your co-workers will actually come to you for decisions on projects that the boss has refused to consider. Your reward will be fully realized when the boss gets back.
7 If the boss is out of the office, do not think the dress code is suspended. If you do, at best, you’ll be ratted out to the boss by the weenie in the cube next to you. At worst, the boss will come back early and call you into a meeting with the big boss, Lederhosen and all.
6 If the boss is out of the office, do not think you are due for three-hour lunches. If you do, at best, you will upset your co-workers. At worst, your boss asked HR to keep an eye on the department and note the hours of all, and you have several hours to make up.
5 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can organize an in-office football game with the boss’s office on one end and the VP’s office on the other as the goal posts. If you do, at best, the team that loses will rat you out to the boss. At worst, although it was supposed to be two-handed touch, Bruno from sales decided to repeat his performance as an All-American tackle. As a result of the hospitalizations, HR and security have been looking for you for days.
4 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can requisition all the supplies your boss has denied. If you do, at best, the supplies will be delivered to your boss’s office for dispersion. At worst, your boss will return to find the budget for supplies has been severely compromised and, instead of asking what happened, will contact the internal department of investigation to request a fraud investigation.
3 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you have carte blanche on business entertainment. If you do, at best, you will be asked to reimburse the company for unauthorized expenses. At worst, your co-workers all join you for the meal and think you can submit it as a team expense, only to find out you will still need to reimburse the company for an unauthorized expense. You also find that none of your co-workers know who you are or remember any meal.
2 If your boss is out of the office, do not think of bending the alcohol rules for the monthly birthday celebration. If you do, at best, the same weenie will rat you out to the boss. At worst, you will have sponsored the best birthday party the team has ever experienced. Still, unfortunately, the party was finally broken up by a city SWAT team after HR and security gave up trying to restore order. Subsequently, every attendee claimed to have been drugged without their knowledge, and your fingerprints are all over the punch bowl.
1 If your boss is out of the office, do not think you can take all the days off. If you do, at best, you will not be discovered missing until someone needs a stapler, which you have the only one in the office. At worst, you will not be missed until your boss returns early to address a problem with one of your accounts, because the client called the president of the company because they could not reach you. Good luck in the new job hunt.
Fiction Favorites 
The only thing worse is when one of these happens after your boss left you in charge — “You have the bridge, Mr. Howell.”
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That does make for a sweaty return meeting for sure. Have a great week, Dan. By the way, thanks for all the discounts on Black Friday. I didn’t realize how far behind I was. Will have to get reading.
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Thanks John. I hope you enjoy them.
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I’m sure I will.
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Great list. That is a beautiful stapler in the picture.
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Ha ha ha. I liked it, too. (Obviously) 😀
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Thankfully, things are pretty easy-going here. The boss only works 3 (sometimes) days per week. She’s leaving for five weeks on December 19th. She feels her employees are pretty capable without her. (Course, she thinks so…)
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Yes, she has you.😊
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And my colleague (We are the only two who are at the office every day!)
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😀
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Yes, indeed, John! If the boss is out, you still have a job to do. Have a great week.
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Thanks, Tim. Have a great week as well.
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At the risk of revealing my age what would Maynard G Krebs say? This could be a snap quiz for the chat bot if I were not adverse to surrendering to all automation and AI assimilation. It is only a matter of time before AI enhances the adult beverage leisure time experience.
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I would love to order three fingers from ChatGPT.
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“While the cat’s away the mice will play” comes to mind. 🐭 About the stapler… I bought my share of staplers as a teacher though never a bright red one! Have a great week!
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Thank you, Michele. I hope you have a great week as well. 😊
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Thanks, John! So far so good… 😊
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Great 😊
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These are SO true and I’ve seen most of them, except the football game. I took a staycation once where #8 came into play. My graduate student decided HE was the boss of the lab and started ordering my lab tech around. My lab tech called and told me he was going to quit. So I went into the lab and dressed that student up one side and down the other. The only time I ever had to do such a thing!
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I can feel my knees knocking at the thought of the up one side and down the other dressing down a la Granger.
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I had never berated an employee until that day! Even one that trafficked drugs!
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😊
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These are great, John. 😀
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Thank you, Kymber. 😊
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Whoa. These fail the common sense test!
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Yes. Anyone doing these things has no common sense. 😀
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I don’t have a boss but if I did, I’d definitely heed your advice. Thanks, John.
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Thank you, Esther.
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Lol! Great advice for back when I had a boss. 🙂 Now, when the boss travels, I’m tagging along.
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Good point, Jan. 🤣
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All great advice, John 🙂
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Thank you, Denise. 😊
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Well done, so many temptations, such a deep hole to fall in while the boss is gone. The Lederhosen comment was my favorite. I had a pair as a child.
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I try to work Lederhosen in when I can. I’ll bet it was cute when you wore them.
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One boss was such a micromanager that we were inundated with emails. And if you did not respond timely, she emailed your buddy in the adjacent cube to find out what in the heck was going on. So many reasons to love retirement…😆
Office Space: Milton I believe you have my stapler
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Love the clip, Lois. Our place had a rule. Answer texts in two minutes and e-mails in two hours.
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Boy, could I identify this with list from working with my old boss. He once called me from Morocco asking me to rebook his flight despite being at the airport when he called. And because his wife booked the flight online, I couldn’t make any online changes to the reservation. Oh, and did I mention it was Memorial Day weekend. He was such a prince. #not 😬
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Sounds like a major dork. Thanks for sharing, Monika
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I think you misspelled it. 😈
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🤣
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Some of these actually sound like things I have seen at the office.
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I’m sure you have. Thanks, Craig.
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John, first order of business is to circle back to that picture of the girls in their perfect pilgrim poses. That was great. I had a boss who insisted he wanted to know anything that happened while he was away, and the moment I started to tell him about something while he was away he didn’t want to hear it. I don’t miss working when reading this top ten!
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Thanks, Bruce. I agree about not missing work, and most specifically bosses. 😀
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“All right, listen up, people. There’s going to be a few changes around here.”
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Let me out of here. 😀
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Sound advice, John! I was always so busy doing his work and mine when my boss was on vacation that I didn’t have time to even breathe, let alone plan parties or order extra supplies or anything, but I can see where it might be a temptation for some!
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It sure could be. Thanks, Jill.
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Regarding “2 If your boss is out of the office, do not think of bending the alcohol rules for the monthly birthday celebration.” When I worked for Ericsson in Stockholm the management provided free liquor and cake whenever it was someone’s birthday, or someone’s car passed inspection. However, it was not advisable to drive after that. That was not a problem for me because I always took the train.
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I worked for Bayer A.G. and was always amazed to see alcohol available in the company dining room when I visited the headquarters.
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Yes the custom is different in different countries. When I worked in Germany (for Siemens) in 2006 there was a festival and the company provided a party with free beer and food and everyone was drinking a lot including the managers.
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Great advices and also witnessed by myself. The old saying “from failures you`ll learn” took place so often. Best wishes, Michael
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That is a good saying. One I practiced my whole life. Thanks, Michael. 😊
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Me too, John! You`re welcome! Best wishes, Michael
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😊
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More excellent advice Sheriff.
I would add, when the boss is away, do not share your true feelings about said boss with anyone or everyone since yanno . . boss is gonna return.
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😀 Like a bad onion they come back.
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Ain’t that the truth!
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Great advice, John. #1 was a laugh out loud.
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So glad you liked it, Jennie.
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😀
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…and bosses still exist could be another good reason to republish this post.
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Bosses will always exist. They are incarnated from the devil.
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Thank God my days of having jobs are over!
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I’m with you there. I haven’t worked in organized commerce since 2012.
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