Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
This post was initially published by Marie Ann Bailey and me on December 23, 2013. I thought it might be a good idea to publish it a little early to perhaps avoid last-minute shopping.
Top Ten Things Not To Do When Shopping at the Last Minute for the Holidays
10. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not battle another for a parking place. If they are similarly crazed, you may just lose the front end of your car. At the same time, the other driver yells “Wakanda Forever” at you as if they are Angela Bassett in Black Panther.
9. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not take your children with you. At best, they will get in the way. At worst, they will be a witness to your stepped-up aggressive behavior when you Taser another parent for the last remaining Lego City Police Boat Chase set.
8. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not leave home without a list. If you do, at best, you will no doubt forget something or someone. At worst, you will be tempted to grab armloads of stuff with the rationale that what doesn’t work can be returned, only to find out after the holidays that you were wrong.
7. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think you are going to get anything on sale. If you think you will, at best, you will be disappointed. At worst, you will be afraid to go home, given what you have spent.
6. When shopping at the last minute for the holidays, do not forget the sizes on your list. If you do, at best, you may just misjudge. At worst, you will get your mother-in-law an extra-large, and you’ll never hear the end of it (even if it is the right size).
5. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not think expensive will take the place of thoughtful. If you do, at best, you will spend too much and become everyone’s favorite gift-giver. At worst, none of your gifts will be appreciated, and all of them will be returned for cash.
4. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not have everything gift wrapped at the store. If you do, at best, it will appear as if you did not put your heart into the gifts. At worst, you could be accused of giving gifts you bought for someone else.
3. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays do not buy gifts that you yourself would not want to receive. If you do, at best, you might just get it back someday. At worst, the gift might be as tasteless as you thought it was, and now you are the embarrassed recipient.
2. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop until your list is complete. If you do, at best, the person you left off will give you the best gift ever, and you’ll have to admit that you got them nothing. At worst, your excuse of running out of time will be the straw that broke the camel’s back, since you had a year to make it right.
1. When shopping at the last-minute for the holidays, do not stop humming your favorite carol. If you do, you might break out in tears, and nobody likes a crier this time of year.
Fiction Favorites 
My goodness, with so much wisdom tucked into your list, I suspect you’ve learned the hard way. 😄 From parking to sales, you evoked plenty of chuckles. Have a great day, John.
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Thank you, Gwen. I’m glad you got some chuckles. I have to say, each day is great. 😊
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It starts in the parking lot, John. That exercise can set the tone for the whole day. Good list.
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You are right. It starts in the parking lot. Thanks, Dan.
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Very imaginative and complete list. Even Walmart or the best grocery/drug star will not have everything you need. Or agree to only exchange Christmas cards in the future.
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That is for sure. Thanks, Pat.
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Very welcome and Merry Christmas, John.
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Merry Christmas to you. (How many times do you think we will say that?)
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Probably more than we can track on our fingers.
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Ha ha ha
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Why is it I always think of the perfect gift After Christmas?!!
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The husband’s curse. 😀
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It’s #8 for me. If I don’t have a list, I lose track of everything – what I’ve bought, what I still need to get, etc. And then there’s keeping track of shipments to stay ahead of the porch pirates.
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All a big responsibility for sure.
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If it is not on my list, forget it. The power of the shopping list!
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Yes. Almost god-like. Thanks, Lois.
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My dad loved shopping on Christmas Eve. He’d have other presents before that day, but he loved to prowl around looking for bargains. Honestly, I think he found the edge of desperation in the air exciting.
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I did that one year and found the desperation in the air was me.
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#5 is very wise.
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Thanks, Charles.
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Yes, John, shopping at the last minute needs good thoughtful planning.
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Thank you, Tim. I believe you are right.
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Such wise advice, John. I do all my shopping online to avoid these problems, but I do start during the summer.
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Very smart. 😀
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Thank you for the tips!
I might need them later this month. 🙂
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Excellent
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I’m glad I’ve done all my shopping! Thanks for the tips though.
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Lucky you. 😊
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All I have to say to this is, “Thank God for online shopping!” 🙂
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Amen sister.😊
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It is indeed the time of year now when “let go my Eggo” becomes “let go my Lego.” Battles in the aisles are common. I agree a complete list of items to get is a must. And, if I ever had someone else wrap my gifts, my gift receivers would automatically know I didn’t take the time and effort to do it myself…because they already know I am the worst gift wrapper of all time. I often adhere myself to the gifts during the process…
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“Adhere myself to gifts” has to be the funniest line of the day. Thanks, Bruce.
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I’d say don’t shop at the last minute… But, there’s always someone that shows up or office plans change.
Ahhh but it’s the shopping thst makes it delightful. Thanks for sharing
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You are so right. It is shopping that fuels the seasonal feelings. Thank you for the comment.
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I’d never thought of taking a Taser with me before, but it makes so much sense.
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I think it would be useful for sure.
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And this is why I’ve always found Christmas shopping very stressful. Our Christmas packages are being mailed tomorrow, and I have everything for myself bought and wrapped.
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Good for you.
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I’ll admit that my husband pushed me a wee bit.
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Good for him.
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All good ones.. I have a new one.. do not let your 90 year old mother take her ex 91 shopping at Costco because they will have to enlist you to bring all the crap no one needs home that weights a ton!!! 🥹
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Ah, come on. That wheel of cheese will come in handy.😀
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hahaha.. I’d keep the cheese. it’s all chocolate.. Duke just was deathly il from it.. it’s heading back. 🥹
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Chocolate is the worst as you know.
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Ugh …. 😩 right!!
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😊
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Fun list. I’m one of those last-minute shoppers, though online shopping has changed the equation.
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It has for sure, Pete. For the better.
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Excellent and smart list. I no longer choose to be last minute!! Way too much stress attached.
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I know what you mean. 😓
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🤗🥰
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😊
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The first one #10 reminded me of when Evelyn Couch (played by Kathy Bates) shouted “Towanda!” and rammed her car into another after they stole her parking spot in Fried Green Tomatoes. That was funny.
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In the original text, that was the reference. I changed it since I didn’t think most would get it.
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Oh that is interesting
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Isn’t it? 😀
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I read this carefully as I have a lot of last-minute shopping to do.
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I hope you save a little aggravation.
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Great list, John! Finding a parking place is gold, bringing a list is necessary (for me, at least), and buying things that we wouldn’t want for ourselves made me laugh, such good advice. Hope you’re having a good holiday season so far. 🎄
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Yes. My shopping is done, so I can pretty much sit back and enjoy the season.
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That’s great! Mine is not! 😂😂
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Oh well. Enjoy.
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I will, thanks! 😊
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😊
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“Nobody likes a crier this time of year” — truer words were never spoken. Plus everyone’s nerves are already shot, I doubt people would know what to do with someone leaking water from their eyes. 😂
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Personally, I would join them.
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Solidarity in sobbing. Yep, that sounds likely for me, especially if I’m dealing with the public in the holiday season…
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Oh yeah…The public. 😳
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Yes, make that list and check it thrice and make sure you have sizes and backup plans too because you are definitely going to need backup plans. And you can’t cry about it.
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There is no crying in late shopping. Drinking, yes; crying, no.
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Drinking yes and yes
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😀
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😉
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Yes to #9 and #8! No children, and have a list.
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I agree.
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🙂
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😂😂😂 Shopping at the last minutes is a New Year tradition in Russia. Guests have arrived while masters are still in a shop.😂😂😂🍻🍤🍤🍤🎄
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That is an interesting bit of information. If that happened here, the guests would consider the host rude or incompetent. 🌲🎅
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