Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash
This post was first published on December 30th, 2013, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. I think it may still be good advice.
Top Ten Things Not to Do on New Year’s Eve
10. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to consume everything in the city. If you do, at best, you may gain a few pounds. At worst, you will never ever feel better again.
9. On New Year’s Eve, do not think everyone is in love with you. If you do, at best, you may get a new roommate. At worst, you may wake up next to a stranger who is now your spouse.
8. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to scream “Happy New Year” more than once. If you do, at best, you will lose your voice. At worst, someone may in fact put a sock in it.
7. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to invent and issue resolutions for everyone else. If you do, at best, you will lose some friends. At worst, your host may resolve to ban you to the patio.
6. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you have to help others drink more. If you do, at best, you may be the last person standing. At worst, you may be named as a co-defendant on a DUI.
5. On New Year’s Eve, do not think you need to give everyone a kiss. If you do, at best, they will all think you are a nerd. At worst, you may pick up a nice case of bubonic plague.
4. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to sing “Auld Lang Syne.” If you do, at best, your off-key rendition will be recorded for playback when you are sober. At worst, you’ll not know the words and remove all doubt as to your IQ.
3. On New Year’s Eve, you do not have to tell everyone exactly what you think of them. If you do, at best, a few will want to take you outside. At worst, several will.
2. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to remove some of your clothes to be more comfortable. If you do, at best, you may not know when to stop. At worst, there could be additional records of your lack of discretion that you will need to pay handsomely to squelch.
1. On New Year’s Eve, there is no reason to get behind the wheel of a car after you have won the shots per hour contest. If you do it, at best you will end up in jail. At worst, you might just hurt someone.
Fiction Favorites 
Still a good list, John, Especially #1.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dan.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If only more people listened to #1. It’s why I’m always nervous about staying out later than midnight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am as well. Usually, nothing good happens after midnight.
LikeLike
What? No mention of fireworks or shooting guns into the air? Now I’m wondering if we live in very different neighborhoods, or if customs have changed so much in the past decade-plus!
LikeLiked by 2 people
My neighborhood has fireworks and shooting guns in the air on New Year’s Eve. 🤬
LikeLiked by 3 people
We do too. Causes everyone anxious moments.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, I think all those things still happen, but there is no way a list is going to stop them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband and I stay in the house on New Year’s Eve!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
We do too. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good list, John. I would add end up dead to the last one! Hubs and I stopped going anywhere for New Year’s years ago and are usually in bed by 10:30. I never thought it was something to lose sleep over!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We do the same and then wake up to a New Year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The Monk hates fireworks, so I usually stay home and leave the rowdiness to everybody else. Good list, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good idea. I do the same.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Timeless advice, yes! 👍🏻 Thank you for sharing, with added humor. Wishing you and yours a cheery last week of December and a blessed new year. 🥂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Michele. Wishing you a Very Happy New Year. 🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you very much, John. 🥳
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahaha I won’t strip down and scare anyone.. promise.. lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
I won’t either. Thanks, Cindy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😝🙌🏽
LikeLike
I’ll certainly take all your wise advice this New Year’s Eve, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Esther. Makes me feel useful. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Imaginative list. Now we go out early for dinner and if we may awake by accident at Midnight, but have been to bed for several hours by then. Please don’t break any of your own rules, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m long gone before midnight. I’ve broken all the rules I’m going to break in this lifetime. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will try to avoid the Bubonic Plaque. May you avoid it as well. Happy New Year!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Brenda. Happy New Year. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well thought out and almost smacks of the voice of experience.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Could be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t do any of those, and still have a good time. I’ll take that as a win! Thanks for sharing and all the best for 2026. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
All the best to you, Laura. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good advice, John. People could do better on New Years Eve.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, they have themselves to thank if things go wrong.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good list, John. We almost always stay home these days. It’s dangerous out there.
LikeLike
It is for sure, Pete. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I shall resist all chances of making any faux-pas by staying home and waiting for the phone to ring at midnight – family are sure to call 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good plan. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tee hee!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sound advice all ’round, John! I shall be spending a quiet evening at home with my girls, so no need for me to worry ’bout any of the above, but hopefully those who do choose to party will take your advice! And have a Happy New Year, my friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jill. Happy New Year to you. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
All very good advice. And all the reasons why I stay at home on New Year’s. As an introvert, I’m particularly anti NYE.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You don’t have to be an introvert to be anti-NYE. I’m a big ole loud extrovert and stand with you on anti-NYE
LikeLiked by 1 person
About #7. I can definitely see how suggesting New Year resolutions for others could go wrong. And like you say, no drinking and driving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Thomas. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
New Year’s Eve can be tricky at times, so a solid not-to-do list is a valuable one indeed, John. (#1 should be common sense, which is why it needs to be listed…😁)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Love that comment about common sense.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I never did understand the multiple “Happy New Year!’ people, or the ones who drink till they can’t stand up. I mean, a ringing head is not what is meant by ringing in the new year. But it usually does coincide with taking off articles of clothing, so all the more reason to be sensible. Of course, number one is spot on. Be smart people.
Happy New Year Boss
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy New Year, Pilgrim
LikeLiked by 1 person
And to you good man
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really funny, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad you liked it, Jennie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLike
Happy New Year 🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Happy New Year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂🎉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like the Martian joke goes:
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like the Martian joke goes:
Martian 1: what the the Earth dwellers celebrating?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like the alien joke goes:
Alien 1 (watching the NYE celebration from somewhere in the cosmos): What are the Earth dwellers celebrating?
A2: Their star completes another circle around their star.
A1: (with a wry smile): I told you they were not very smart.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ha ha ha. Just wait till they witness daylight savings time.
LikeLike