Photo by Sean Lee on Unsplash
This post was first written and published on February 17th, 2014, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since death and taxes are always with us, I hope you will be entertained.
Top Ten Things Not To Do While Doing Your Taxes
10. While doing your taxes, do not allow the cat to sit on your keyboard. If you do, at best, you may miss a couple of deductions. At worst, your kitty may just add a few zeroes to your tax bill.
9. While doing your taxes, do not have a hot drink sitting on some of your worksheets. If you do, at best, you could tip it over and ruin the papers. At worst, you could tip it into your lap and jeopardize your love life till you heal.
8. While doing your taxes, do not allow your dog to play with the computer cord. If you do, at best, you may run out of battery. At worst, you may need to run out to the vet to help Fido overcome his electric shock treatment
7. While doing your taxes, do not allow the family to play video games on your computer between sessions. If you do, at best, some memory may disappear. At worst, the IRS may get a Madden football game instead of your 1040.
6. While doing your taxes, do not leave your computer without saving your file. If you do, at best, you might have to remember all your half-truths all over again. At worst, you may be unable to reconstruct your perfect return and might end up owing more than you had planned.
5. While doing your taxes, do not think the IRS is okay with rough guesses or estimates of the numbers. If you do, at best, you will never hear from the IRS. At worst, you will have to explain your numbers during an audit to a disbelieving agent with a cattle prod.
4. While doing your taxes, do not forget to sign your return even if you don’t believe it to be true. If you do at best, the return will bounce back. At worst, the lack of a signature will trigger a visit from the NSA, which will want to know all about you.
3. While doing your taxes, do not try to get away without attaching a check if you owe money. If you do, at best, the government will send you a nasty note. At worst, you will find out how little sense of humor the IRS really has.
2. While doing your taxes, do not drink alcohol even if you think it will help. If you do, at best, you might be shocked by the amount you deducted. At worst, you may be shocked to find you have already mailed the return on which you took too many deductions.
1. While doing your taxes, do not be discouraged enough to decide not to file. If you do at best, you will never sleep again. At worst, you may get your living expenses paid, but you will have a roommate who wants to go steady.
Fiction Favorites 
Great post as always John and I will make sure to keep the cat off my
keyboard where he seems to enjoy composing his own works… here they
can reach in and grab your tax… one year they took it twice on the
same day…
hugs Sally
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Grabbing tax? This is why we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor. That scheme would not go over here. (Being able to bear arms makes the control more certain.) Hugs.
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Too funny, John. Yesterday’s back and forth with the online filing system made me consider #1. Had to push away and come back to regain the calm to complete. Now the wait, up to 21 days to get my money back. This one-liner remains true: ‘Hi. I’m from the IRS, and here to help.’ Wow! AI and the IRS have a lot in common: making off with what belongs to you.
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My rush factor is on idle. I owe the Feds, and one of my 1099s won’t be ready until March 7th. There is some peace in that. (Very little, I might add.)
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Nobody wants to be around me when I’m doing taxes. I’m safe, except for the alcohol.
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Ha ha ha. I’m with you. I need solitary confinement. This year, my financial group won’t have my 1099s until March 7th. Talk about anxious. 😳
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Yikes! Maybe drop a hint that “Um, that’s kinda illegal guys” I remember having to go to work in a snowstorm because we had to print 1099s on Jan 31st.
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They got an extension from the IRS
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Oh. I hope you get it in time.
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I do too. Otherwise, I’ll have to file an extension.
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Every one of these, John. When I do our taxes, I let my husband know that I will be behind closed doors without the cats so his job is to keep them occupied and away from the closed door!
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He has a tough job.
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Great Top 10.
I am surprised you have to wait till March 7 for a 1099. I have everything I need and taxes are done (by my CPA). I thought everything had to be to you by January 31st. apparently not. Ahhh, the suspense !!
Good luck.
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They got an extension from the IRS since it is very complex.
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Good advice. Glad I finished mine.
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Always a good feeling.
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Great ones, John, and I have trained my cats to stay off my keyboard. We usually have someone do our taxes for us, but hubs is going to try to do it himself this year. Fingers crossed.
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Best wishes on that.
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Thanks, we’ll need prayers…
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And an understanding IRS agent.
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Since I just finished this chore yesterday, I relate!! I always send it off with a kiss and a prayer! 🙂
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Good things to send with the return 😊
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It’s the right time to give this good advice, John. Another thing for me to remember is that I shouldn’t cuss too much.
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Yes. Cussing never gets a tax credit. Thanks, Tim. 😁
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Just happened to be doing my taxes when I read this. #7 gave me a chuckle. I might attach your post to my return to see if they have a sense of humor😎
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Just redact my name and give it a whirl. 😁
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I’ve been procrastinating, then the State said to hold off because they have some retro deductions to figure out. Seems like encouragement to just put it off.
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Yeah, sounds good. I would take a breather on that advice.
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Most of these things can be be blamed on the dog, cat, or circumstances beyond our control…
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Yes indeed.
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I found myself cringing as I read some of these – my cat walks on my keyboard a lot (I blame her for any typos) and always feel like drinking alcohol when I’m completing my return (how much do I owe? Surely not!). But thank you, John. I will refrain from it. Great post.
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Thank you, Esther. Glad you liked it
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Keeping the cat off the keyboard is almost too much to ask. lolol This was entertaining indeed!
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Maybe a treat or two might be needed. Or take the keyboard into the bathtub.
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LOL Now that will work!
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You know how cats love bathtubs.
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hahaha Oh, yes, I do. 😀
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😁
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😂🤣
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I don’t guess tax time is anybody’s favorite time of year, right, John? Still, looking at the drudgery with a sense of humor as you’ve done can make the task easier to handle. Thanks!
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Thank you, Debbie. It is one of those things that has to be done, so why not put some humor around it?
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It’s #10 at our house always. Maybe I should just let Bond type and see what happens. You never know.
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That would be interesting. Maybe not to the IRS, but heck, those guys have no sense of humor.
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Always good tips, John. Humor definitely helps – alcohol is tempting – but the IRS does not recognize humor. Thankfully, we got ours done early this year
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Good for you. Thanks, Jo.
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I gave up doing my tax return when I inherited a family trust. I hire an accountant.
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Let’s hear it for the family trust. 😁
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Yes, I’m sure the family trust funded at least one exotic vacation over the years.
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😁
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Yes, this is the one time when I would agree with no pets being allowed. Or alcohol for that matter. Unless you’re okay with the idea of having a roomie who wants to go steady, that is.
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Ha ha ha. I’m with you. Wait till it’s done, then let the tabby have her way and down a few drinks.
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The agent with the cattle prod made me laugh out loud. Trying to explain this to Hubby while laughing was a different story. Thanks, John.
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I can see it, Jennie. Hubby looking at you like you are crazy. Fun stuff.
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Exactly! Definitely fun stuff.
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😊
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“While doing your taxes, do not leave your computer without saving your file. If you do, at best, you might have to remember all your half-truths all over again.”…that is pretty funny
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Glad you liked it, Thomas. 😁
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The cat got on my keyboard sounds a lot like the dog ate my homework.
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Close for sure. Thanks, Pete.
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Timely, John. Husby and I are just completing the annoying spreadsheet of data required by the CPA. Sigh.
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Sounds like you do most of the work. I hope you are getting a good price.
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