The neat part of having a coffee robot is the availability of that soothing syrup, available night or day, 24/7. Having to wait for an extended brewing process for more than one minute might mean the difference between calmed neurons or a catastrophic brain bleed. The first sip stops the auto production line cacaphony of the caffeine addition screaming for relief. The second sip brings the dreaded doorbell Westminster chime and Cerberus duet, which threatens to break glass or cause eardrums to bleed. Two fresh Benny bones are tossed into the soundproof room, followed by the door slam, bringing golden silence to the room.
A check of the security monitor shows Smoky the Bear standing on the porch. He has an envelope and, of course, a clipboard. Rather than argue about leaving the delivery with a sign, the security shutdown process begins.
The SWAT team needs to be put on standby. A quick text to the leader confirms that status. Also, the flight of A-10 Warthogs must be diverted. Another call to the commander puts that worry to rest. The SEAL team needs to be called off, and a call to the leader makes that possible. The MH-60 Jayhawk Helicopter hovering over the house is diverted. A call to the tow truck driver stops the deployment of an M1A1 Abrams Tank. The control panel simplifies the security system’s shutdown process. The boiling oil vats are put on standby, the turret mortars disengaged, the Trebuchet on safety, the concertina wire rolled, the Claymore mines reset, the tower Gatling guns on safety, the moat net dropped, the alligators fed, and the IEDs and shoulder-held rockets put away. The Proton torpedoes switched off. The gamma ray beams covered. The high-powered maser guns switched to standby, and the nanorobots were chained in the basement. The Klingons are called back, and the Targ is caged. Robbie’s Bot is sent to the basement. The Tasmanian Devil is directed to the food in his cage, and the door drops. The electronic jammer is kept active, given a situation with a robot not too long ago. The locks on the door are thrown. And the door opened.
The bear hands me the envelope and the clipboard. After signing and returning it, it’s obvious the bear is looking for a tip. “If what you have done yesterday still looks big to you, you haven’t done much today.” Mikhail Gorbachev said that, and that’s my tip as I slam the door.
The message in the envelope is from Linda Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “neat.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2026/05/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2-2026/
Neat by John W. Howell ©2024
“Pretty neat the way you got rid of the bear.”
“I don’t think it was really Smoky.”
“What makes you think that?”
“He was wearing Nike running shoes.”
“Yeah, that would be a tip-off for sure.”
“Why do you suppose you get all these weird characters delivering your messages?”
“For one, folks like to see who will be doing it.”
“Okay.”
“For another, it makes an interesting counterbalance to the security shutdown process.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the shutdown process?”
“Might be a little stale.”
“So think of something else.”
“Easy to say.”
“What about the Voo Doo Ranger bit?”
“The car part is still fresh. Plus, I have a whole file of cars sent in by Dan Antion, Tom Okragly, and Resa McConaghy.”
“Does remind me.”
“Did you call Uber?”
“Right over there.”
Photo by Resa McConaghy
“Well, that is something. Lots of room for sure. What’s the catch?”
“Nothing much. We have to pick up the boys and girls gymnastics team on the way to the pub.”
“How do we get home?”
“Oh, the driver will deliver the team and come back for us.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad. I still feel there’s more.”
“Full disclosure. It’s the 7th-grade team, and they will have had enough Gatorade to float Florida.”
“I’ll get my earplugs.”
Fiction Favorites 
I’ve been on a bus full of 7th graders, John. They called it being a chaperone but I can think of a lot of worse sounding names that would apply. Have an extra VooDoo. By the way, I think I saw Smoky in one of your bushes on his way back to his car.
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I wonder what he is doing in the bushes. Is that smoke? Thanks, Dan.😀
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😊
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😊
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That bus makes me think of ‘Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem’ from the Muppets. Pretty they had a similar bus.
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I only saw Dr. Teeth once or twice, so I’m no help.
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I was going to make a comment about you flipping out with all those 7th graders, but that is way too obvious. Stay groovy, John. 🤸♂️✌️
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Ha ha ha. Thanks, Lois.
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Good advice tip to the Smoky the Bear costume guy, John. Riding in the bus with the boys and girls gymnastics team on the way to the pub should be interesting.
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Calculated to drive me nuts. Thanks, Tim.
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😊
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😀
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You manage to keep it fresh, John.
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Thank you, Pat. 😊
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😁
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You sure it wasn’t Yogi Bear? I can see him wearing Nikes. I taught two dance classes (yes, dance, and I am beyond dancing) when I subbed last week 2nd and 4th grade. They have decibel levels that beat out seventh graders easily.
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I can believe it. I hope you had some earplugs.
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No because I wasn’t expecting to be teaching a dance class!
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Ha ha ha
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I love the shut down process. But I’ll rack my mind to dream up an alternative. This will take a while as my mind is slow to react to my requests sometimes.
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I have the same problem sometimes. Thanks, Tom
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Haha! Float Florida… 😀 But my favorite — and you have a true gift, John, to have come up with “the auto production line cacaphony of the caffeine addition screaming for relief.” Brilliant. I got a kick out of the bus too. Big hugs.
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Aw. Thank you so much, Teagan. Hugs to you.
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Finally, l have reestablished contact with the “High Exalted Mystic Ruler”…and once again, l pledge thee my troth, and anything else you consider worth betrothing🐳
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So nice to see The Tuna 🐳 back on the job. 😀
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Yea !! Ya did it. Glad to see you back.
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Tom, you have to sign in.
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Oh my goodness. I have been in a car with a small group of seventh graders and I needed ear plugs. 🤪 Great use of the prompt!
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Thank you, Jan. Hit ’em with some Gatorade, and you have a symphony. 😀
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The shutdown process, and these weekly dialogues, can’t possibly go stale. Much enjoyed each time.
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You are very kind, Paschal. 😀
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Earplugs are a great idea! School buses as I recall are loud. Nicely played, John!
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Thank you, Deborah. 😊
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Yes it was neat the way you got rid of smoky bear, and I am going to have a coffee now, which I think is neat. I had a Voodoo Ranger IPA yesterday and that was neat. Maybe I’ll have a whiskey this evening, and I always take my whiskey neat.
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Ha ha ha. I take my whisky neat , too
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Love the groovy bus, the 7th graders bouncing off the walls not so much. You’re thinking maybe of doing a little something different with the SoSC posts?
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I’m just wondering if folks are getting tired. I think there are elements that can be changed. I have a guy working on the security shutdown.
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I agree about working on the security shutdown.
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Thank you, Liz. I think I will eliminate it. 😀
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You’re welcome, John. 🙂
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😊
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Yanno…. I’m starting to think there must be quite the treasure trove in that house to require such a complex alarm system 😉
And I love your descriptions of your life-saving elixir. We’ll have to one day see that contraption that gives you what you need.
As for the wheels to get to the VooDoo? I’m hoping that it is a very short ride. I have more than once sat in a bus with a classroom full of hooligans… you’re gonna need that VooDoo ready when you get there!
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I called ahead and told the guy to have a frosted glass and a bottle ready. Oh, wait. You saw that. As for the contraption, it’s a Jura E8. 😀
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Hahaha! Right-o!
Nice…
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7th graders?
You will need that VooDoo and more.
I’m happy about the lockdown process. It’s the only way to keep the Tasmanian Devil away from here.
Know who do VooDoo better’n you? Ed Sullivan, that’s who! – he had a really big shoe. It was a VooDoo shoe. The other one was regular. A one shoe VooDoo.
🎿 🎿 🎿 🎿
Now that’s VooDoo emojiism. An OX in one!
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I’m going to stick with OX OX OX Your VooDoo Emojis look strange.
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OX OX OX
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😊X
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Stupid emojis. That’s not what it looks like in the selector. Maybe it looks better in the notifications annotator!
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Ah ha. Thought so. OX 🐂
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Ha! Sounds like the 7th grade team will directly compete with the Cerberus duet. Another great job, John. Love these posts!
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Thank you, Jennie. 😀
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Whoops, I replied to the wrong comment, Monika. So sorry. I do you are not Jennie. 😊
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know. (boy am I having a day. Sheesh.)
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No worries. With WP changing things up recently I totally understand. I’m not liking the way comments show up-all out of order. It’s hard to know what you’re responding to. And in my case, liking comments now has to be done separately through the administration portion. Ugh…my bandwidth for dealing with the extra steps it takes is a bit low for these extra steps. 🤬
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And there is no help either.
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Earplugs? Pfft! Noise cancelling headphones. At least the bus has AC on top.
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So true. 😊
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I’d run for the hills if I was offered a ride on that bus of 7th graders!!! Just sayin’.
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I would be right behind you, Pamela.
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I love Smokey the Bear. You are very clever, John, how you describe coffee and all the problems, interjecting something new every week. Really. I’d be game for riding the Uber bus.
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Thank you, Jennie. 😊
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You’re welcome, John.
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😊
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Who’s to say Smokey hasn’t updated his look? No thanks to you of course, but I DO love your old school tips just the same.
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I thought you would like that one. 😊
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Loved it
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😊
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