Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Entering King Tut’s Tomb.

~ John W. Howell

This post is a continuation of the Top Ten Things Not to Do with a historical background. In 1922, the entrance to King Tutankhamen’s tomb was discovered in Egypt. It first ran on November 9th 2018

Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Entering King Tut’s Tomb.

10 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not ignore the curse written on the main door. If you do, at best, it is just a practical joke. At worst, that look in the mirror ten days later will give you a hint you should have paid attention. (That dry skin mummy look is trying to give you a heads up to a problem, Faer. Better contact a shaman quickly.)

9 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not disturb that cloth-wrapped hulk with the WWF champion belt. If you do, at best, it is just a statue. At worst, the spirit of Tiny the WWF champ has been waiting centuries to body slam an opponent. (Well, you woke it up, Fagen. I think you should start looking for a soft landing spot.)

8 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not try any of the preserved food in those gold pots. If you do, at best, the food will be dust. At worst, those pickles will have a monumental repeat factor. (Stay close to the facilities, Faine. You just never know.)

7 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not sit on any of the furniture. If you do, at best, you’ll pick a solid piece. At worst, you’ll sit in a 4000-year-old chair that has seen better days. ( No need to try putting it back together, Fane. That priceless antique is now sawdust, and the curator is preparing a bill for you right now.)

6 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not touch the king’s sarcophagus with your bare hand. If you do, at best, a layer of dust will protect the finish. At worst, the oils from your skin will leave a permanent handprint on the priceless relic. (You may need to confess, Faraz. The CSI is now running the print through an identification process, which is bound to lead to you.)

5 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not pull any lever that you may come across. If you do, at best, the lever is not connected. At worst, the lever is connected to the trap door under your feet. (Falling through the dark is pretty scary, huh, Farnham. Wait until you hit bottom.)

4 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not think you can take a souvenir. If you do, at best, the security guy will tell you to put it back. At worst, you will get it home only to discover several Boris Karloff types hanging around your bedroom. (Don’t worry about these guys being see-through, Farquhar. At least they can’t hold a knife.)

3 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not forget a flashlight (electric torch). If you do, at best, someone else may have one. At worst, you’ll try using a cigarette lighter and end up falling into the coffin with the king. (You can stop screaming now, Farren. The king is not holding you down. That cover merely slammed shut. Of course, that click sound is troublesome)

2 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not take a selfie with the king. If you do, at best, the picture won’t turn out. At worst, when you look at it, the picture will have some other characters in it that you never saw. (I’m not saying the place is haunted, Farrokh but you now have captured the souls of the king”s guards. Good luck with that.)

1 If you are entering King Tut’s tomb, do not bring your Big Gulp drink inside. If you do, at best, it will be gone before you set it down. At worst, you will set it where someone will knock it over into the King’s sarcophagus. (History records some unknown substance all over the king, Fars. Your secret is safe with us.)

66 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do if You Are Entering King Tut’s Tomb.”

      1. The King was a cool dude. I’m surprised the music wasn’t Steve Martin. His King Tut routine would have fit here beautifully. But maybe the Big Tuna can perform for us ??

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      1. You’re either thinking of the 🐳 which is very, very, disheartening or “just call me Bob” foiled…

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  11. John, I’d be so jittery entering that tomb it would be equivalent to walking through the fine china and glass sections of department stores in the mall. I always kept my hands in my pockets and tried to find the widest aisles possible. Too much can go wrong when you’re playing in King Tut’s “sandbox.”

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  12. Great list, John. I visited King Tut’s tomb when we were in Luxor, Egypt. It’s very well lit now, and no one can get anywhere near the sarcophagus. But the paintings and the gold leaf are dazzling.

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  16. #7. Sit on furniture. I’ve done that. I sat on a Maharajas throne (at a palace in India) upon the insistence of my guide. He wanted me to ignore the do not touch sign. I did what he said but I kind of regret it.

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      1. Yes he was very bold. He also interupted the filming of a TV series and demanded that I meet the main actress and take pictures with her, by claiming that I was some sort of important person, and he got away with it. I still have the photos. I’ve never had a guide like that.

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        2. I can also add that he told me to take a decorated Elephant foot from a display (also don’t touch) and hold it so he could take a picture of me holding it. Then some other tourists tried to do the same thing because they saw me do it and he screamed at them that it was not allowed. But that was it.

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        4. I started getting nervous about getting arrested. It was nice to meet India’s Jennifer Aniston though. He said that the actress he dragged off the film set to meet me was India’s Jennifer Aniston.

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