Author: John W. Howell

I have been working in business for over forty years and now have the time to work in special areas of interest. My passion has always been to create compelling stories of fiction. I have authored six novels and am working on my Seventh. The first novel is still in manuscript form and being utilized as a door stop in the laundry room. The second is a contemporary fiction novel of 89,000 words and is complete and I am currently seeking a publisher. I also write poetry but have not had the guts to share any with anyone. The one time I read a piece to a person their only comment was, “it doesn’t rhyme.” I will continue to write and hopefully my blog, Fiction Favorites at www.johnwhowell.com will provide some entertainment and an interesting thought or two. I live in the Austin area with my wife Molly and an assortment of loving pets.

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF – Fri-Yay – Good News

~ John W. Howell ~ 96 Comments

Today’s good news story comes from the Good News Network.

First Recorded Birth of Critically-Endangered Burmese Peacock Turtle Hatchlings

By Andy Corbley

Credit: Fauna & Flora http://www.fauna-flora.org

This little fellow is the Burmese peacock softshell turtle, and he’s sitting here in the hands of one of the first humans to ever hatch them in captivity.

As one of the planet’s most endangered freshwater turtle species, it’s hoped the 15 hatchlings will go a long way towards preserving these beautiful reptiles for future generations of Myanmar’s people.

The breeding program was undertaken by the conservation group Flora and Fauna International, along with support from local volunteers and knowledge keepers around Myanmar’s Indawgyi Lake, one of the largest freshwater lakes in Southeast Asia.

The locals, trained by FFI, nominated “turtle guardians” to patrol the shores and look for nesting areas—of which they found 5 in the 2022 breeding season. They fenced them off and kept regular watch over them.

According to the conservation group, the video of the turtles hatching is the first known recording of the species born in the wild.

 

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy’s New Carpet.

~ John W. Howell ~ 99 Comments

“There’s watermelon and Benebone to play with, Twiggy.”

“Are you missing the elephant in the room?”

“Elephant? I didn’t know you had an elephant toy.”

“Not toy, Dad. Presence, situation, big looming problem.”

“I still don’t know what you mean.”

“The carpet. It’s not the same. There’s no black and tan.”

“Oh, that? Yeah, Mom decided an all-white soft tuft would be better.”

“Better how?”

“Well, it feels good when you lay down.”

“I can vouch for that. It does feel good. What else?”

“It is very durable. Can stand up to a lot of wear.”

“You mean dog traffic.”

“Well, People too.”

“Uh-huh. I can see it goes with the couches.”

“That is true. It is like a monochromatic effect.”

“With a splash of color from my toys and those grey stairs.”

“Well, you still need those to get on the couch.”

“Yes, that is for sure. Unless they make a couch that sits on the floor, I need this.”

“So what do you think?”

“I like the softness, and I can also see if I roll around on it, the carpet will hide my hair for a while.”

“That has to be a big benefit. ”

“Okay, Dad. You’ve sold me. The carpet stays.”

“I’m sure Mom will be happy to hear that.”

“You are just humoring me, right?”

“Right.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Finger Point Prompt – ‘Asleep’

~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

The idea is to open a book randomly and, without looking, point to the page. The word or words closest to the pointing finger is the prompt.

Today we opened The Eternal Road on page 147. The word closest to the pointing finger is ‘asleep.’

Asleep by John W. Howell © 2023

“Who can tell me what asleep means without using the word sleep. Yes, Johnny.”

“Well, teacher, I believe asleep means that your eyes are closed and you are breathing deeper.”

“Okay, Johnny. That is part of it. Anyone else? Your hand is up, Nancy.”

“How about you are dreaming.”

“That’s good, Nancy. Go ahead, Jerry.”

“And you can’t hear the TV anymore.”

“I see. Asleep while TV watching.”

“Yeah, my dad does it all the time.”

“Thank you, Jerry.”

“After he drinks a lot of beer.”

“That will be fine. Anyone else? Okay, Maureen.”

“Asleep is what you want to be to relax.”

“That’s interesting.”

“You lock your bedroom door and tell the kids to be quiet.”

“Thank you, Maureen. Surely someone else has an idea.”

“I do.”

“Yes, Richard.”

“It’s what happens when you talk about history after lunch.”

“I can see that, Richard. Thank you. Can anyone tell me what part of speech is asleep?”

“I’d say all parts of speech are asleep.”

“Thank you again, Richard. It is an adjective. Does anyone care to try a sentence? I’m holding my breath, but go ahead, Richard.”

“When I sit too long in class, my bum feels asleep.”

“Richard, it is time for you to take a walk. Please take this attendance sheet to the office and try not to hurry.”

“Did I use it right?”

“Yes, Richard, and your reward is to keep your bum awake. Bye now.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do in Front of Your Boss.

~ John W. Howell ~ 81 Comments

 

This post originally ran on April 17, 2017. Since we still have bosses, I think it might be helpful.

* * *

The inspiration for this list came from a discussion with Teagan Geneviene on the ridiculousness of some policies that have been created by bosses. It came to me then to develop a list of things not to let a boss see you do since it could result in a new policy.

Top Ten Things Not to Do in Front of Your Boss.

10 If your boss is looking, do not laugh. If you do, at best, you will raise a question as to why you are not serious about work. At worse, your boss will assume you’ve gotten away with something and will try desperately to find out what it is. (Cozy with your boss camped out in your cube, huh, Ferd?)

9 If your boss is looking, do not frown. If you do, at best, your boss will think you are unhappy. At worse, your boss with think you have a problem and offer to help you solve it. (“I’m your boss, and I’m here to help you” are the most feared words, right, Buster?)

8 If your boss is looking, do not chat on the phone. If you do, at best, your boss will time the call. At worst, it will be assumed you cannot prioritize your work. (How are you enjoying those after-work classes on work priorities, Pud?)

7 If your boss is looking, do not leave for lunch. If you do, at best, your boss will feel abandoned. At worst, your boss will question your dedication to the job. (Yeah, I know it was just a half hour, but will that be of comfort at the unemployment office, Putz?)

6 If your boss is looking, do not allow anyone to visit your cube. If you do, at best, it will be assumed you use the office as a social venue. At worst, you’ll be required to fill out a form for every minute of the workday. (Now, did that conversation take two minutes exactly, Bunky?)

5 If your boss is looking, do not yell at a fellow worker, no matter how annoying. If you do, at best, your boss will put you on the disruptive watch list. At worst, your after-hour weekday will be taken up by classes on sensitivity and the rights of others. (Lucky you, the other classmate is Tiny, the WWF champ who keeps growling at you when the instructor turns away. Don’t worry; Buster Tiny hates everyone. Nothing personal)

4 If your boss is looking, do not throw away anything. If you do, at best, there will be an after-hours look into your wastebasket. At worst, your boss will report you to the recycling and security departments for a full investigation into compliance. (What this strip search has to do with recycling is anybody’s guess, huh, Buford?)

3 If your boss is looking, do not leave your cube without locking your computer. If you do, at best, the demerit will put you one over the line. At worst, security will be called to remove your laptop for a full disc scan to determine if it has been compromised. (Those online searches for golf clubs look a little embarrassing now, don’t they, Tex?)

2 If your boss is looking, do not shut your computer down a minute early. If you do, at best, your boss will come in and ask a question requiring an embarrassing restart. At worst, you will have additional classes to attend dealing with the office hour policy. These classes meet on Saturday, Pard.)

1 If your boss is looking, do not, I repeat, do not, sneak a chew of that gum. If you do, at best, you’ll be reminded about the policy about eating at your desk. At worst, the environmental department will be called to set rodent traps and pest spray your area. (Your request for a gas mask and allergy shots has been denied, Herm.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Flora and Fauna

~ John W. Howell ~ 95 Comments

It is time to start looking at the early summer blooms and check on the deer. We are being catered by Interstellar Bar B Que of Austin. Our entertainment is Miley Cyris.

Menu

BEEF KIELBASA – All beef traditional Polish style sausage in a pork casing
JALAPEÑO POPPER SAUSAGE – Beef and pork blend in a pork casing, jalapenos, and chunks of gooey cheddar
CHOPPED BRISKET – Chopped ends sauced with Johnny’s Texas Red Sauce
PEACH TEA GLAZED PORK BELLY – Slowly smoked until tender, then glazed with our homemade peach tea glaze
TURKEY – Turkey breast brined in citrus, herbs, and Live Oak Hefeweizen, seasoned with salt and pepper
PORK SPARE RIBS – Duroc pork spare rib; a little sweet, a little spicy
PULLED LAMB SHOULDER – Juicy pulled lamb shoulder seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic, and a splash of rice vinegar
BRISKET-USDA prime all-natural brisket seasoned with salt, pepper & garlic
Sides
TOMATO ZUCCHINI SALAD – Thinly sliced zucchini, fresh diced tomato, and red onion marinated in a citrus vinaigrette
MAC & GOUDA- Fresh-made pasta shells and our creamy smoked gouda cheese sauce, topped with toasted panko breadcrumbs.
SMOKED SCALLOP POTATOES – Thinly sliced potatoes layered with cream, parmesan, and garlic smoked to a golden brown
JALAPEÑO SLAW – Shredded green, red cabbage and carrot tossed in our homemade jalapeno dressing
NEW POTATO SALAD – Tender, red-skinned potatoes in a creamy dressing with a little mustard and a little mayo, chopped celery, and red onion
COMPLIMENTARY BBQ BEANS  – Red beans cooked down with chopped ends and spices.
Picture of an old time school bus
Let’s go.
Golden Thryallis looks great.
The Three Tenors.
A cute reminder that there are fawns in the neighborhood.
Twins.
A yellow Mexican Bird of Paradise.
A mom with her twins
Red Mexican Bird of Paradise.
A buck with velvet antlers
Pinkish Crape Myrtle
White Crape Myrtle
Twins on the loose.
Purple sage
One purple and one red Crape Myrtle.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – Starts with “AB”

~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

A picture of a string with drops of water- the logo for SoCS

A guy about 300 pounds and six foot four unties me while Jessica stands, pointing a gigantic handgun at my nose. “Okay, wise guy, “she says. “You said you knew where the statue is, so now’s your chance. Get up, and let’s go.” She waves the gun in the direction of the door. The big guy steps aside to let me go first. “You wouldn’t have a spare cup of coffee, would you?” My words sound like that kid in a forgotten product commercial where he holds up a bowl and asks pitifully for some more food.

Jessica tells me to shut up and to move through the door. The bright sun renders me a temporary Mr. Magoo and absolutely clueless about where to go. The big guy grabs my arm and drags me to a big black car. He opens the door and unceremoniously shoves me inside. Jessica slides in on the other side and doesn’t have to say much about making any false moves. The cold steel against my temple says all there is to say.

“Now, smart ass. Tell the driver where to go before you’re sporting a third eye.”

Not wanting to abort my living being status, my mumbling vague directions will hopefully buy me a little time. Jessica asks the driver if he understands where to go, and a surprising nod causes my breath to let go. Jessica gives me a jaundiced look like she knows a stall when she hears one. “You get one chance, dipshit. No statue, and you’ll enjoy a long dirt nap.”

Looking out the window, a strange sight appears in the sky. It is one of those biplanes, and it’s pulling a banner. It looks like a message from Linda Hill. It reads, Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with ‘ab.’” Find a word that starts with “ab” and use it in your post. Enjoy!

If you visit Linda’s post, you can see how other bloggers respond to the prompt. Here is the link. Also, please ask her to send help.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 24, 2023

Starts with AB by John W. Howell © 2023

“Well, you have me absolutely confused.”

“About what?”

“The abnormality of the airplane.”

“Why are you using odd words.”

“Caught the prompt fever.”

“Well, you can stop now. We have enough AB words.”

“So, explain the airplane.”

“I think it’s obvious. I needed a way to deliver the prompt, and Jessica Rabbit and her cohort were not the way.”

“Cheap trick,”

“Or clever plot element.”

“We’ll see what turns up in the comments.”

“This is hard work. I think we need a VooDoo Ranger.”

“Uber is here already. There he is.”

“That long black car is Jessica’s.”

“No, the Uber driver is behind that one.”

“On the John Deer tractor?”

“There’s a trailer for us.”

“Absurd.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“Appeals to the bumpkin in us all. Okay, let’s go.”

 

 

Friday JohnKU – AKA – TGIF Fri-Yay Good News

~ John W. Howell ~ 87 Comments
American Museum of Natural History Video – Screengrab

Today’s good news story comes from (where else) the Good News Network. Here it is in its entirety.

Blue Whales Return to California at Levels Not Seen Since Before the Whaling Industry

By Andy Corbley

Don’t call it a comeback; blue whales have been here for years, rocking their peers and putting sailors in fear.

The largest animals on Earth are returning to the coastal Californian waters in larger and larger numbers, with sightings on whale-watching trips becoming increasingly common.

According to a 2014 study investigating the impact of ship strikes on the blue whale population, the western Pacific population of these cetaceans has reached 97% of its pre-whaling levels.

“When we’re able to take collective action and think about balance, such that people and the activities that we want to support like shipping, like recreational use, like commercial fishing, all of those things can coexist.”

Commercial fishing tackle can harm whales, so the industry took measures to reduce this, and it worked.

Too many blue whales were killed every year in ship strikes, and so Pacific shipping narrowed their lanes to avoid areas where whales congregate, and are now agreeing to reduce their speeds when entering and exiting harbor areas.

The current estimates suggest that as many as 2,000 blue whales travel up from Mexico to Southern California waters every year, a large chunk of a global population that may be topping 25,000.

Scientists believe there is a population of 200 such animals near the city of Ostend.

“I was born in Ostend. I’ve lived my whole life here, and I couldn’t remember seeing a seal,” says Inge De Bruycker, founder of the North Seal Team to Euronews. “It’s new. It’s like, come on, when we built this dam here about seven, eight years ago, we sometimes had one. Occasionally, but just one.”

The good news here is that combined efforts are bringing these animals back from endangerment. Today’s JohnKu talks about how to help the planet. I hope you have a terrific weekend.

Co-operation by John W. Howell © 2023

It takes more than one,

Working together for good . . .

The animals thrive.

 

Thursday – A Little Personal – Twiggy Inside

~ John W. Howell ~ 119 Comments

“How’s cheeseburger doing today, Twiggy?”

“He looks pretty tired. I think I need to play with someone else.”

“Fishbone looks rested.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Let me take a sniff.”

“So?”

“I think he needs a bath.”

“There must be something over there that you will want to play with, isn’t there?”

“I’ve had my eye on the chuck-it ball.”

“Well, then go for it.”

“A little problem, Dad.”

“What’s that?”

“Chuck-it is stuck inside the igloo.”

“Can’t you get it out?”

“Not that easy. Gotta make sure the sides of the igloo don’t get in the way. Way too much work.”

“You giving up?”

“No, just taking a breather. It’s hot today.”

“I don’t want to mention that the temperature has been the same inside the house for weeks. Here I took it out for you.”

“Oh, thank you. It is just that chuck-it is more or less an outside toy.”

“You can play with him inside too.”

“I know that. I think playing with him outside is more fun.”

“That’s all well and good, but it’s 105 degrees out there.”

“And for our Celcus friends, that’s almost 41 degrees. I guess outside is not an option.”

“So what now?”

“I think I’ll just chill here inside and maybe get Mr. Eel to play with me later.”

“You okay with that?”

“Sure am. In fact, it sounds pretty good given the blowtorch conditions outside.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Fun Friends

~ John W. Howell ~ 71 Comments
Markus Spiske on Unsplash

For the last ten years, this space on Tuesday has been devoted to prompts even though the title is “Anything Possible.”

Well, today, I thought something different would be in order.

I have two friends, Tom and Dan, who regularly suggest what they consider interesting items to include in the Saturday post. Dan, for example, suggested that Roger Rabbit would make a good character. Tom keeps supplying me with security items like the anti-submarine net in the moat and the Trebuchet. In addition, there are plenty of jokes and comments that go back and forth.

This last week was very typical, but I thought I would share an example of one suggestion Tom made and a corresponding upgrade by Dan.

Tom suggested including the following list of facts in a post.

1 Biting your lips triggers a rush of chemicals in your brain that reduce anxiety, stress and boost your mood.

2 If a girl frequently plays with her hair in front of you, chances are she likes you.

3 Toy Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

4 Scotland’s national animal is the unicorn.

5 Try to breathe and swallow at the same time. You can not.

6 It is also impossible to hum while holding your nose.

7 Australia has over 10,000 beaches. You can visit a new beach every day for over 27 years!

8 The human nose can detect around 1 trillion different odors.

9 Flushing is triggered by a surge of adrenaline in the body.

10 People can detect the feeling of fear in your eyes, but they need some corresponding action to confirm it.

11 Daytime naps improve memory and reduce the risk of heart disease.

12 Japan has over 50,000 people over the age of 100.

13 Hot water can freeze faster than cold water.

14 Your brain will perform better when you believe you slept well, even if you didn’t.

I thought it was interesting and filed it away for possible use later.

Dan went on to add;

# 9 Flushing ??
In my house, it is triggered by a full toilet.Emoji
Dan would be the first to admit his bathroom humor can use some work.
Dan also wanted to add to the Friday Mastodon tooth story, so I received the following cartoon.
So as you can see, an ad hoc creative team is working behind the scenes to bring you the best content.
The latest from Tom.
I hope you enjoyed this little detour. I know I certainly enjoy Tom and Dan’s humor.

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Spring Cleaning

~ John W. Howell ~ 75 Comments
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

 

This post was run on March 6th, 2017. I’m assuming there are still some things that need to be taken care of before the arrival of summer. I hope you enjoy the list.

* * *

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Spring Cleaning.

10 While spring cleaning, do not start a list without careful planning. If you do, at best, you’ll only waste your time haphazardly moving from one project to the next. At worst, that last missing step on the ladder will only become important when you step on it. (It is a long way down, and your screaming just woke the baby, Buford.)

9 While spring cleaning, don’t forget to look down at the wash water before throwing it out. If you do, at best, you may lose your favorite brush. At worst, your youngest may take an unplanned flight. (How did that kid get in there anyway, Buster?)

8 While spring cleaning, don’t forget the law of gravity. If you do, at best, that hammer won’t take out the patio cover. At worst, your weightlessness feeling will only be a millisecond before you reconnect with terra firma. (Those skydiving lessons were of no help on your free fall from the roof, right, Tex?)

7 While spring cleaning, do not mix several cleaning agents together. If you do, at best, you’ll only waste the materials. At worst, you may inadvertently duplicate what used to be considered a military-grade poison gas. (How’s that waiting list on the lung transplant coming along, Slick?)

6 While spring cleaning, do not try to remove spots with anything but approved removers. If you do, at best, the spot removed will be more prominent as a result of residual cleaner. At worst, that spot lifter you used clearly said not for use on leather. (How are you going to explain that missing arm on the couch, Bunky?)

5 While spring cleaning, do not think you can use a leaf blower in the living room. If you do, at best, you may be surprised at how many things go out the front door. At worst, although the knick-knack shelf is clean, there may be no more knick-knacks. (Funny how those crystal items turned to dust, huh, Ferd?)

4 While spring cleaning, do not forget to empty the vacuum cleaner during the process. If you do, at best, the job will take longer. At worst, at the end of the job, your vacuum and hose may be entirely filled, only to let go when you turn the machine off. (Didn’t plan on starting over, did you, Bosco?)

3 While spring cleaning, do not use that paint from five years ago. If you do, at best, the color will be close, and only your mother-in-law will notice. At worst, what used to be bright white woodwork will look like an original “this old house” before picture. (Now you have to do it twice, huh, Putz?)

2 While spring cleaning, do not think others want the radio that loud. If you do, at best, you may get a phone call. At worst, you will have awoken Tiny, the WWF champ who flew in from LA on the redeye and finally got to sleep. (Notice Tiny has red eyes of his own as you observe his knuckle sandwich being served a la carte, Pard.)

1 While Spring cleaning, do not underestimate the strength of your power washer. If you do, at best, you may make some marks on your house. At worst, you’ll notice the chunks of paint being stripped from the siding a little too late to avoid a complete repaint job. (“Well, that was a sound investment, wasn’t it, Darling?” Yes, you just heard the most feared words in the language)