Top Ten Things Not to Do While Photographing Doors

 

Thursday Doors

 

The inspiration for this list is the Thursday Door prompt as interpreted by Dan Antion. I have often thought when looking at his photos what would happen if certain things went wrong. So here they are, and I’m glad to report Dan has done none of these things.

10 If you are taking door photos, do not ignore that no trespassing sign. If you do, at best you’ll get a warning shot. At worst, the owner will have a pack of wild dogs trained to discourage trespassing. (You finally found out how quickly you can run, Donahue. Too bad those dogs are faster.)

9 If you are taking door photos, do not keep shooting pictures while Tiny, the WWF Champ is waving at you. If you do, at best, he is friendly. At worst, he just entered the witness protection program and thinks you are on the opposite team. (This would be a good time to try out those new Nike running shoes, Donato. Oh dear, you forgot to wear them? Try not to scream then.)

8 If you are taking door photos, do not try to shoot and drive. If you do, at best, you’ll get many photos of your reflection. At worst, you are so occupied you miss that curve. (Looks like you are in someone’s bedroom, Donny. I think I would make up a story and fast.)

7 If you are taking door photos, do not continue to back up without looking behind you. If you do, at best you’ll fall into a flower bed. At worst, you now know the meaning of free fall, Dontell. I don’t think flapping your arms is going to help. You can try it though.)

6 If you are taking door photos, do not forget to keep your thumb out of the field of vision. If you do, at best one or two will turn out. At worse, your door photos all have a significant close up of your thumb. (No matter how youΒ try to sell the shot as artistic, Duante, everyone knows what really happened.)

5 If you are taking door photos, do not become distracted by the obscure. If you do, at best some of your fans might enjoy the “door to the alley” shot. At worst, that close up of a ham sandwichΒ looks to be anything but a ham sandwich. (Looks like those comments are not going in your favor, huh Dorion?)

4 If you are taking door photos, do not focus on only those door you like. If you do, at best your audience will fade. At worst, after the one-hundredth shot of the Burger King entrance, someone will mercifully take your camera away from you. (You’ll be able to get it back, Doughall after a hundred hours of community service.)

3 If you are taking door photos, do not try to include exciting people. If you do, at best they’ll only cover up the door. At worst, you’ll have someone in your shot who has a thing about obscene gestures. (Okay I would take that one over, Draven. This is a family post after all.)

2 If you are taking door photos, do not think the weather will co-operate. If you do, at best some will think that door photo with snowflakes is artistic. At worst, your light setting will be thrown off by the repeated lightning strikes. (You need to find cover, Driscol. You also need to get some rubber shoes for grounding. My goodness the last bolt did some funny things to your hair.)

1 If you areΒ taking door photos, do not think you need to have each one be perfect. If you do, at best you will shoot so many that you run out of memory. At worst, you will photo shop the photo until it no longer looks like the door you shot. (What makes you think folks want to see a business building door look like the entrance to the Vatican, Duff?)

60 comments

  1. Gwen Plano · ·

    Too funny…for some reason #7 hit home. Of course, I don’t know why. Who would back up and not look behind? πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many cartoons. Art imitating life? Thanks, Gwen

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  2. Ha-ha-ha! Amazing sushi-set, dear John! The photo you have chosen for the post adds some humoristic mood as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maria. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes I think it might be good that I’m an awful photographer!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At least you are still here. πŸ˜€

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  4. I always wondered why so many people flap their arms when falling. Deep down, are we all Wile E. Coyote?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I don’t want to find out from personal experience. Thanks, Charles.

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      1. Maybe diving into the water? I don’t know. Heights aren’t my thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Me either. πŸ™‚

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  5. This was hilarious, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jill. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha! I try to keep tabs on Thursday Doors from several bloggers. So this was fun, John. You slayed me with the one about Burger King doors. Have a marvelous Monday. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Teagan. Have a super Monday….wait! Did I just say that. Ahem. Have a survivable Monday. πŸ˜€ Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL. Mordor seems inescapable… Monday is my one work-at-home day (some people get 4), and that *usually* helps. So my fingers are crossed for today. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. YAY. Happy Monday then.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Bushwa! The Orcs attacked anyway… Oh well…

        Liked by 1 person

      4. ERP. Oh well indeed.

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  7. Thanks for the mention, John. These are great, and I haven’t jkhakjhaghfgkjhakjsdfhjdfhad sorry, there was some static on the Internet. Where was I – Oh yeah, Tiny.

    I need to sort through my recent photos and cull out the Burger King shots, damn, that was some of my best work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha ha ha. Glad you enjoyed it. I did say you never did any of these. Keep the BK shots undercover. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha – deal!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. That’s the problem with us, folks… we wanna make our doors looks perfect haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As well as everything else. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh, I put my photographer days behind me because of number 7. I have backed up into so many things to get the right shot (including traffic). Good one John. happy week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Andrew. Wishing you the same.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Good list to keep in mind when I bring out my camera. Thanks, John!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Better to tape it to your camera.

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  11. Great list, John. I’ve often wondered how photographers get just the right shot without angering the folks they’re trying to photograph (or the things belonging to those folks).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They have to work fast. Thanks, Debbie.

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  12. after the one-hundredth shot of the Burger King entrance

    Yeah, a guy has got to do Taco Bell every once in awhile just to mix things up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so true. Especially in Minnesota

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  13. D.L Finn, Author · ·

    I think you are on to.something with community service for taking too many photos of Burger Kings door! I believe I may be guilty of a couple… lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha haha. Thanks, Denise.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Funny stuff, John. Exciting people making obscene gestures made me chuckle. πŸ™‚ Oh yeah, and that free-falling stuff. Ouch! Another great list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jan

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  15. Wouldn’t the airplane door look cool from out on the wing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That would be cool.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
    Check out this post from John Howell’s Fiction Favorites blog with the top ten things not to do while photographing doors

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Don.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. A very good post this week, John. I see a few of these interesting door posts on a weekly basis.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Robbie. ;-D

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  18. Hilarious, John. #4 made me laugh out loud, as did Tiny in the witness protection program. A nice salute to Dan and his terrific doors posts.

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  19. LOL! That was hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was hoping yo would like it.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I love this, John! Fun and funny! I plan to photograph doors among other things on my next vacation. I’m going to Japan this summer. I’m sure the doors will be different and amazing, as well as the architecture.

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    1. You should have fun. Best wishes Vashti.

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      1. Thank you, John. ❀

        Liked by 1 person

  21. I’ve so many photos of doors, that none of the family ever want to see my photos anymore, John. I’m just too afraid to delete them in case I can use them for something else. I’m a hoarder of doors (so to speak).
    Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I wouldn’t toss them either. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  22. My favorite is #7 where the guy backs over a cliff. I hope he had a parachute. If not and he survives I hope he has insurance–lots of it. I see Tiny is now in the witness protection program. He must travel in dangerous company. Yes, I’d definitely run. Good list, John. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Suzanne. Missed you.

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