Category: Uncategorized

Sunday Fifty -Two Views of the Gulf – Vote Needed

~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

 

Today is a little overcast but promises to be more sunshine and a high near eighty degrees. The tire marks are as a result of the gathering of our residents for a fire on the beach. As you can see, I managed to put a poll together. This photo will be the last photo of the Gulf if the votes swing toward something different. Next week is the fifty-two-week mark for this feature. I hope to have a composite slide show built which will be published here and then moved to the sidebar. You will be able to access the results of the poll after your vote.

Last week’s photo.

 

If Animals Were People

~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

Another great coloring book from the wonderful folks at J&I Publishing

Ionia Froment's avatarreadful things blog

Here is the latest offering in our color book series. I had a lot of fun with this one. I’m trying a new approach here as well. Adult color books tend to have a lot of very small spaces, and not everyone loves that. So this is the first book in the “Wide Open Spaces” series. For those who want to have the fun of an adult coloring book, but don’t want to deal with all the tiny little details.

I proudly present: “If Animals Were People”

Also check out our other color books available on amazon.comand over atJ and I Publishing

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Ever wonder what the world would be like if animals were in control? If animals were people, what would they do for work? What would they do for fun? Follow these zany animals on their various adventures to work and beyond and color them in as…

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Top Ten Things Not to do on Spring Break

~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

spring-break-3

 

This list is inspired by watching almost every weird occurrence that can transpire in a two-week spring break period.  I did a previous post on the subject but decided to take it from the sane adult perspective. After all for every drunken idiot spring breaker antic, there is an equally sober witness to that action. (It’s called the law of disgust) This list is for those innocent souls who happen to be living in a place that is a destination for spring breakers.

Ten Things Not to Do During Spring Break

10 If you live in a spring break area, do not react to a group of spring breakers in a pick-up who ask you to pull up your shirt. If you do, at best you might get a string of beads. At worst, you may cause the group irreparable psychological harm. (They were talking to the young woman behind you. Not you old man.)

9 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to cross the street. If you do, at best you will become a laughable imitation of the game Frogger. At worst, you may end up on the hood of a pick-up and realize the driver is too drunk to see that far. (You won’t mind riding there for the next ten miles right?)

8  If you live in a spring break area, do not think you will be able to drive downtown to the store. If you do, at best what was a five-minute round trip will be a three-hour tour. At worst, you will never get to the store and will, in fact, be carried by the traffic to the next county. (The city tried to warn you about traffic flow)

7 If you live in a spring break area, do not think you can go to the beach. If you do, at best you will not find a place. At worst, you will be caught up in a game of beer pong and never make it home. (So it was the only way you could find a place you say?)

6 If you live in a spring break area, do not take any insults personally. If you do, at best you will be the source of much laughter. At worst, you will need transport to the ER for heart attack symptoms. (Guess which EMS vehicle can’t get through the crowds?)

5 If you live in a spring break area, do not worry about the ten tons of trash laying on the beach. If you do, at best you will want to do something to the next person you see toss a beer can. At worst, the next person you see toss a bear can is nicknamed “killer.” (This will not turn out well will it?)

4 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to help a person who appears lost and disoriented. If you do, at best they will not understand you. At worst, you could be the recipient of a barf shower. (Of course, you wanted to help. You can’t help stupid)

3 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to do anything about all the noise coming from your neighbor’s house. If you do, at best your neighbor will tell you where to go. At worst, the noise will increase since your neighbor is someone who doesn’t like being told what to do.(He is especially stubborn after twelve beers. Just ask his wife.)

2 If you live in a spring break area, do not use any sharp knives or dangerous tools for the duration. If you do, at best you won’t need emergency attention. At worst, you will need to know first aid since it will be about two days until someone can come help you. (The police and medical teams are dealing with big problems like passed out underage drinkers.)

1 If you live in a spring break area, do not leave your doors unlocked. If you do, at best you may wake up with unknown guests on your couch. At worst, all your furniture could be on the front lawn. (Just because a bunch of kids thought it would be funny)

Lloyd Tenay drops by Lisa Burton Radio

~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

A fabulous interview with an interesting character from Charles Yallowitz’s new book Crossing Bedlam. You gotta believe this is one wild ride (interview and book)

coldhandboyack's avatarEntertaining Stories

Welcome everyone, on this episode of Lisa Burton Radio we have a really unusual guest. I’m your host, Lisa Burton the robot girl.

Crossing Bedlam is the sponsor of today’s show, and I’ll load all the important links at the end of the show. Let’s all welcome Lloyd Tenay.

“Hello Lloyd, welcome to the show.”

“Great to boob here. Uh . . . eh, close enough.”

“You have an interesting background. Prior to the collapse, which produced the Shattered States, you were in prison. Can you tell us a little about that?”

“The simple story is that I was a totally misunderstood serial killer who got caught. In my defense, the zoo had a new baboon exhibit and those animals are a lot of fun to watch. Oh, I guess I kill people because I wasn’t raised right or have a couple screws loose. I don’t know. It was either…

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Top Ten Things Not to Say to Your Household Staff

~ John W. Howell ~ 58 Comments

milionaire

 

This list was inspired by taking a moment to walk in the shoes of the one thousand or so Billionaires in this world. I wanted to imagine how hard it would be to stay on the good side of the household staff dedicated to serving the billionaire day in and day out.  So come with me on this fictional walk among the privileged.

Ten Things Not to Say to Your Household Staff

10 Do not ask your chauffeur to wash the car. If you do, at best you’ll get a look that can’t be explained. At worst, you will be treated to a ride through the car wash while you are supposed to be headed for the airport. (Your chauffeur never left the front seat either)

9 Do not ask your butler to empty a wastebasket. If you do, at best the basket will be there untouched. At worst, you will find the basket contents under your clothes that have been laid out for the day. (That lint is a killer isn’t it?)

8 Do not ask the chambermaid to get a cup of coffee. If you do, at best you will have a very grumpy butler on your hands. At worst the chambermaid may bring you a cup of coffee that is only 99% spit-free. (One would hope you knew the duty roster better )

7 Do not ask the cabana person to pick some leaves out of the spa. If you do, at best he will report you to the pool man. At worst, he will pick the leaves out, and the pool man will threaten him to the point where he is forced to leave. (This was the best cabana person of the last five who quit after picking out some leaves)

6 Do not ask the yard man to sweep the garage. If you do, at best the yard man will tell the garage man that the garage needs cleaning. At worst, the yard man will sweep out the garage along with the ten irreplaceable bolts required to hold your Rolls Royce transmission in place. (Don’t worry the replacement bolts can be sent from the UK at the cost of $1000.00 each.)

5 Do not ask the chef to run out and pick up a few things at the store. If you do, at best they will get someone else to do it. At worst, you will still be perplexed why tonight’s dinner is Kraft Macaroni and cheese. (There is nothing wrong with a sample of proletariat cuisine even though your guest is the German ambassador.Right?)

4 Do not tell the House administrator that you think there is too much spending on household items. If you do, at best the spending will increase. At worst, you will need to get used to lower winter and higher summer temperatures in the house as well as hot dogs twice a week. (How do you feel about a foot high lawn)

3 Do not mention to your pilot that you thought the last landing was a bit rough. If you do, at best she will try a softer one next time. At worst you might be treated to what’s called a touch and go landing with several touches. (You never knew this plane could bounce that high did you?)

2 Do not tell your yacht captain how to get from here to there. If you do, at best he will avoid heavy seas even though they are on your route. At worst, you will spend several agonizing hours wondering if you will survive the storm that was right in the way. (You never knew how much the body could send back till now did you?)

1 Do not tell your personal trainer how to train you. If you do, at best your workout will be something short of worthless. At worst, you will be hurting in all the wrong places at all the wrong times. (Pretty tough picking up that pen heh?)

A Different Kind of Book Review: His Revenge by John W. Howell

~ John W. Howell ~ 6 Comments

A very special review of His Revenge by a very special person, Marie Ann Bailey. If you are unfamiliar with Marie you should visit her often for more of her Different Kind of Book Reviews.

Marie A Bailey's avatarMarie at 1 Write Way

Hello, dear friends.  I have it on good authority there’s another book sale for you to take advantage of. Yep, John W. Howell, hero author of My GRL is having a SALE on the latest novel in his trilogy, His Revenge.  Go ahead, run over and get yourself a copy if you’ve been procrastinating.  I can wait.  Or if you want to procrastinate just a little bit longer, maybe the following review will be the kick in your reading butt that you need.

***

Randy swore as hot water splashed against his fingers. He heard a muffled snort and turned around. Mary was braced against a kitchen chair, her right hand covering her mouth and nose in a vain attempt to restrain her laughter. Randy grimaced and then ran cold water over his burnt fingers.

“I’m sorry,” said Mary as she came over to the counter to resume…

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