Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

September 23, 2015September 21, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Alexis and Ben trying to work out how they were going to get four loads of explosives into their target building. Alexis did not think she could lift the 40 pounds without calling attention to herself. Ben decided he would make four trips into the building using a backpack and disguises. We left the two just as there was someone at the door and Alexis went to let in the pizza guy who she assumes is at the door. Let’s pick it up there.

“Just bring the pizza in.”

“Alexis, I’m not a pizza delivery person. I’m your mother.”

“Oh, my gosh mom. I’m sorry we were expecting a pizza and I just assum─”

“I’m sure. I’m glad you and what’s his name have jobs now and can afford delivery pizza.”

“Mother it’s the same price.”

“Can I come in or are you hiding something.”

“No of course. Come right in. Please make yourself comfortable which will be looking around for anything out-of-place.’

“Alexis I’m surprised you have that opinion of your loving mother.’

“Not an opinion mom.”

“What did you say?”

“Never mind. You remember Ben don’t you?”

“Of course I remember the man sleeping with my daughter. How’s it going, Bob.”

“Ben. It’s Ben Mrs. Worthe.”

“Oh yes. Please forgive me.”

“It’s okay, and Alexis and I are not sleeping together.”

“Thanks for that assurance Ben. It is very comforting and, believe me, I’m sure you would only tell me the truth. Have you been tested for STDs?”

“Yes, ma’am. I mean yes I would tell you the truth and no there is no need for STD testing.”

“Another comforting fact. I feel so relieved. You have anything to drink Alexis?. Besides beer or water I mean.”

“Yes, mother we have some nice wine. Would you like a glass?”

“I would dear. Hold the arsenic please.”

“It’s red. A pinot noir.”

“That’s fine honey. Now, Ben, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the future.”

“The future?”

“Yes. What do you intend to do after college.”

“I’m studying engineering. I plan to be an engineer.”

“What kind of engineer?”

“Electrical.”

“What kind is electrical.”

“Well, I will be able to figure usage and demand for electrical power. I will be able to design and troubleshoot electrical equipment.”

“Like a washer or dryer?”

“Like a large building or rocket or maybe an atomic bomb.”

“Atomic bomb? My goodness, you will be very dangerous.”

“Here’s your wine mother. Ben is one of the brightest there is, and there is nothing he can’t do with electricity.”

“I’m sure. This wine is actually good. There’s your doorbell.”

“Now I think it is the pizza. You staying for dinner mom?”

“How quaint. You didn’t go to too much trouble did you?”

“Yes or no.”

“Yes. I want to talk a little more about this electrical storm here.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible Kreative Kue #43 Prompt by Keith Channing

September 22, 2015September 28, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 24 Comments

As you may know, I have become enamored by the talent of Keith Channing. He has a weekly prompt named Kreative Kue, which runs on Mondays. Here are the instructions from Keith for the prompt. “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated.”

His advice. “Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your blog or website, next Monday.” Here is the photo.

Here is my interpretation. It’s called Buzz. Hope you like it.

“So tell me again why we are following this road so close to the ground.”

“Like I said the navigation and communication radios are not working.”

“I understand that I just wonder why we are down here so low.”

“It’s like this. We can’t communicate with anyone and we have no idea where we are so we are following this road to the nearest town, and we’ll take a fix and figure a way home.”

“Why so low?”

“See those clouds above us. With no radios, we can’t get clearance to fly on instruments and go up through the clouds to clear air. With no clearance, we are sitting ducks for some plane who has clearance. The ceiling is getting lower by the minute. Also following this road will give us a better chance of not hitting any electrical wires or towers. There are none in the middle of the street.”

“How about those over the road?”

“A real worry but out in the country pretty rare. Keep your eyes peeled. I have throttled back to a pretty safe speed.”

“I can hardly see out the front.”

“I know looks like we are getting some rain.”

“I’m really worried.”

“Just keep looking.”

“There’s a dark spot up ahead.”

“I see it. Damn, it’s a stand of trees. We gotta climb, or we’ll take the wings off.”

“Can we?”

“Damn. Can we what?”

“Climb?”

“I’m trying. Whoa, hear that? We just skimmed the tops of those trees. We’re okay now.”

“Jim?”

“Yes, Frank.”

“When we land I’m going to need to change.”

“Roger that Frank. Here have a mint.”

Top Ten Thing Not to Order On-Line

September 21, 2015September 20, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

This list is inspired by having some unpleasant experiences with items purchased without having the luxury of trying them out first. Although extreme this list is representative of some of the potential disappointments a buyer can experience in shopping on-line.

Top Ten Things Not to Buy On-Line

10 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that cosmetic kit that promises an instant youthful appearance. If you do, at best you’ll learn that what seems too good to be true is too good. At worst, you will need an intervention by an expensive dermatologist just to remove the facial mask. (And don’t you look good with a Jim Carrey green mask?)

9 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that cheap juicer that claims to be as good as the $700.00 version. If you do, at best you will still able to use a spoon to eat the pulp that is all you can produce. At worst, the overload on your electrical system as the juicer tries to extract carrot juice will kill your lights and the entire East Coast grid. (And you thought your last electric bill was high)

8 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that used car advertised to run like new. If you do, at best you might get at least fifty miles before your first breakdown. At worst, the claim of running like new had small print where they were referring to a new Yugo. (Yes, that smoke you smell is coming from the engine compartment)

7 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that bargain priced pacemaker. If you do, at best you may wonder why you are getting the Chicago Bears radio broadcast in your chest. At worst, you may figure out the thing does not keep pace according to the Western ecology. (Yes, it is noon, and you are sound asleep)

6 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy the do it yourself appendix removal kit. If you do, at best you will have a fool for a patient. At worst, it will be difficult to perform the work and read the instructions. (Yeah, the picture of the appendix looks fuzzy to me too.)

5 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy those pharmaceuticals that are half priced. If you do, at best you won’t be ingesting pharmaceutical grade cement. At worst, you will have to deal with why your symptoms won’t go away. (Cornstarch is a miracle product but not for the treatment of illness)

4 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that half priced airplane engine part. If you do, at best you’ll have plenty of warning before it fails, and it is not critical. At worst, you will learn maybe too late Murphy’s law of airplane parts which states, “The criticality of a plane engine component is directly proportional to its original cost.” (So the half price was attractive up to the point where the ground and you meet un-expectantly)

3 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that hotel room at 70% off. If you do, at best you will only suffer from no view other than the brick wall outside your window. At worst, you will return from your cheap trip only to discover you have brought home some rare and highly reproductive things that move fast when the lights go on. (That is an interesting rash you have there)

2 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that robot kit that is priced way below what you have seen elsewhere. If you do, at best you may be able to assemble it even though there are several parts missing. At worst, once your new robot is ready you realize it now has control over your house and a Napoleonic complex. (Sure is fun saluting a robot isn’t it?)

1 If you are shopping on-line, do not buy that sale priced action Xbox games. If you do, at best you’ll find out on level three that your cheats no longer work, and you get killed every time. At worst, in the course of playing the game you suddenly realize that it is for real and now you are running for your life. (Okay, slight exaggeration. Hey, look out, that guy has an ax.)

Sunday – Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf

September 20, 2015September 19, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

Not much has changed this week. That brown stuff by the water is seaweed that rolled in with the shifting current. We have also been having a rough time with Red Tide. This is an algae bloom in the Gulf that is totally toxic to wildlife. The waves roll across the tide and the wind vaporizes the algae and so the air becomes filled with spores which cause itchy eyes, sore throat, coughing and respiratory problems. It has been with us now for four days. It is more or less like living in heavy air pollution. The difference is it is invisible. The other problem is large fish kills which have not washed up on our beach yet but are further North. We have to be careful and not allow the dogs to pick up anything on the beach in their mouth as the effect could be fatal. Some years the Red Tide is nonexistent and others very bad. The only thing that kills the algae is colder water but when the currents change and it moves out into deeper water we are spared the effects.

Last week’s photo.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday

September 19, 2015September 18, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and the prompt for this week is “Route/Root.” Linda has kindly consented to let us use them either together or separately. If you would like to join in on the fun, visit Linda’s site for more information. http://lindaghill.com/2015/09/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1915/

“So tell me again why you don’t stop for directions.”

“Man, it’s like this is the biggest deal. Okay I don’t stop for directions because every time I do whoever I always ask says, ‘I don’t live around here.’”

“Right now we are in the middle of nowhere, nd I think the Route 37 turn off is way back the other way.”

“I don’t understand why this GPS system is on the fritz. That’s the root cause for our frustration right now.”

“The GPS has nothing to do with my frustration.”

“What does then?”

“That you are so stubborn you won’t stop and ask for directions.”

“Okay I will stop and ask as soon as we see someone.”

“Look there. It’s a guy on a tractor. He must live around here. Stop and ask him.”

“Okay. I’ll pull over here and wave him down. Hey mister. Yeah you. Can you help us?”

“Sure enough son. What’s the problem?”

“My wife and I seem to be lost and wonder if you know where the Route 37 turn off is located?”

“Hmm Route 37 turn off you say?”

“Yes the Route 37 turn off.”

“I can’t rightly say I know where that is.”

“Well I think it might be a couple of miles down that road back the way we came.”

“Okay. If that’s what you believe I would go back and pick it up.”

“I guess I would like to be sure before I go all the way back.”

“Wish I could help but I don’t live around here.”

“You’re on a tractor and you don’t live around here?”

“Nope. I just work the fields during planting season. I actually live on Miami Beach.”

“Figures.”

“I can give you good directions to the best espresso stand in all of South Florida though.”

“Yeah I’ll bet you can.”

“You take I 94 South out of Minneapolis till you get to Illinois─”

“Yeah, thanks. Bye now.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

September 18, 2015September 10, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 19 Comments

Friday is here in a heartbeat. Always good to have a holiday on a Monday since it makes the week seem so fast. (Unless Tuesday was one of those painful “please shoot me” days). I didn’t get a lot done this week since I’m trying to work on formatting my book. It’s almost like making a new recipe. I have the instructions in one hand and am slowly trying to execute with the other. One handed typing is the worst especially when you are trying to make things all pretty. Oh well, it will take time and I certainly have some to spare right now. Today’s JohnKu talks about doing the job right.

The job needs doing,

Bring all the effort and skill. . .

It’s worth doing right.

Thursday Anything Possible – Rave Waves Blogtalk Radio Spotlight Honors Interview with Karen Ingalls #RRBC

September 17, 2015September 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 4 Comments

Today at 11:00 CDT I will be interviewing Karen Ingalls author of Novy’s Son, The Selfish Genius. You can listen to the broadcast by clicking HERE.

Blurb: From his early childhood, Matthew Collins sought love and acceptance from his father, who was raised as the bastard child of a famous artist. He struggled with jealousy toward his younger brothers, and he questioned the morals and values of people around him. As an adult, Matthew lived life his way with years of lying, womanizing, and heavy drinking. Would his high intelligence and his unique philosophy of life help him rise above his demons.

Amazon

Kindle

Bio:

I am a retired registered nurse with a master’s degree in human development. I worked in private practice as a nurse therapist for twenty years, which resulted in the writing of this book challenging the reader to examine the issue of father to son relationships. I counseled many men not too dissimilar from the main character.

I am also the author of the award-winning book, Outshine: An Ovarian Cancer Memoir. My weekly blog at www.outshineovariancancer.blogspot.com offers insight into relationships, spirituality, and a variety of health issues. I concentrate on the word “outshine” because I believe we can outshine or overcome whatever challenge we are facing.

You can visit Karen at:

Twitter

Facebook

Goodreads

Kreative Kue Prompt # 42 by Keith Channing

September 16, 2015February 22, 2021 ~ John W. Howell ~ 19 Comments

His advice. “Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your blog or website, next Monday.” Here is the photo.

“Oh miss Marilyn I’m wondering if it is safe to go outside?”

“Why yes, my dear I think so.”

“But I think the way you look you may call attention to yourself.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Those combat boots, automatic rifle, and camouflage will let the soldiers know you mean them no good.”

“Well, I believe in dressing right for each occasion, and this outfit is for shooting and I’m tired of these occupation troops.”

“True, but do you have to broadcast your intent?”

“Hmm, I see what you mean. let me go and change.”

“Good idea. Try that long Victorian orangish, yellowish one you wore to the costume ball. You know the one with the lace cuffs.”

“Be right back.”

“No hurry. I’ll hold your gun here.”

“I’m back. How do I look?”

“I think you will need a cloak to hide the automatic.”

“This black one seems to do the trick.”

“Now you need a hat. Here try this one with the designer’s name on it.”

“I think I’m ready. Do you think I stand out now?”

“No matter. I would hum a tune, and maybe they’ll believe you are insane.”

“Sometimes it feels that way. See you darling.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

September 16, 2015September 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week, we were a little surprised that the “other” project they are working on includes blowing up a building. (Talk about getting right to it right?) We left them at Alexis’ house as she and Ben began their discussion about the building. Alexis asked Ben about the destruction of the building since Ben mentioned the number of floors being more than he figured. Let’s join them.

“Yes, Alexis the whole building will be destroyed. It’s going to take some more planning.”

“What planning?”

“Well, I’m going to accommodate the additional story that I hadn’t counted on.”

“Is this a big deal?”

“It will mean a few more pounds of explosives is all.”

“So we will just carry in more each time but the plan still holds right?”

“Yeah it still holds.”

“Why didn’t you notice the extra floor when you walked around the building?”

“I think it was a stupid mistake. The land slopes and there are more stories on the back than the front. I didn’t go inside to look at the floors. I figured the plans would give us all the information we needed. Besides I didn’t want a bunch of security camera shots of me wandering around a building when I had no business being there.”

“I can see that. Okay, no harm no foul. Any guess at how much more we will need?”

“I would say an additional ten pounds a corner.”

“Holy shit, that’s forty pounds a carry. You not concerned about someone seeing you with forty pounds of explosives?”

“The backpacks I planned on using will take care of the extra weight. No one will see.”

“I don’t think I can carry that weight.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have to lug it all in.”

“Any problem with that?”

“Only the disguises I will need to have. I was counting on just two now without you I will need four.”

“If that’s all I think we’re okay.”

“We’re okay. There’s the door. Must be the pizza guy.”

“I’ll get it.”

#RRBC Back-To-School Book and Blog Block Party – Interview with John J. Cannon

September 15, 2015September 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 122 Comments

Welcome to Fiction Favorites! Today, I am thrilled to be participating in Rave Reviews Book Club’s Back-to-School Book and Blog Block Party from Port Aransas, Texas USA You can visit the entire tour and locations by clicking HERE.

In addition to learning a bit more about me and my book My GRL while you’re visiting, I hope you will leave a comment. If you do, you will be entered into a drawing for a chance at a ten-dollar Amazon Gift Card.

All you have to do for a chance to win is leave a comment. There will be a drawing, and the winner will be selected at the end of the day on September 15th, and announced on September 16th! For more prize opportunities visit the RRBC website.

Interview with John J. Cannon

Today I am pleased to welcome John J. Cannon to Fiction Favorites. For those of you who are unfamiliar with John let me give you a brief introduction.

John is a litigation attorney who lives in San Francisco. He has taken a leave of absence from the law firm to pursue his dream of becoming a charter boat captain. John currently resides in Port Aransas and is the protagonist in the thriller titled My GRL.

FF: Welcome John to Fiction Favorites

John: Thank you. It is so nice to be here. I’m pleased to be with you.

FF: Let’s dive right into the questions. I know you want to become a charter boat captain but I have to ask why you would give up a successful career in law?

John: I have been practicing for twelve years without a vacation. Honestly, I need a change of pace. In addition, I’m not giving up the law I’m just taking a leave of absence.

FF: Okay glad you cleared that up. We understand your boss is not very happy with you asking for a leave of absence.

John: Yeah, he has expressed a little disappointment but the fact remains it is corporate policy and I have qualified for the leave. I think he is worried about the revenue I won’t be brining into the firm.

FF: So he granted you the time off?

John: To be clear he granted me six months off. I asked for a year.

FF: My goodness sounds like trouble back at the ranch.

John: No. There’s no trouble. I simply have to request another six months when the time is done.

FF: What if he says no?

John: He won’t.

FF: I understand you bought a boat.

John: I sure did it’s a beauty. It is a sixty-five foot Hatteras Sport Fisherman. I named her My GRL.

FF: That must be some boat to navigate.

John: I took some lessons in how to handle her. She’s like an old friend.

FF: How soon will it be before you become a licensed captain?

John: I have about two months in and it takes a year so about ten more months.

FF: So you aren’t making any money yet?

John: Money is not the reason, but you’re correct.

FF: So tell us about the woman who sold you the boat.

John: Gerry’s her name. She was killed by some people who wanted to make a point.

FF: Yes Gerry. I remember you were found unconscious next to her body.

John: Yeah I was.

FF: Did the police think you did it?

John: I think they thought of me as a person of interest rather than a suspect. I had no gunshot residue on me or any other evidence that I was the perpetrator.

FF: Did they find out who did it?

John: There’s not a suspect. Gerry was killed by a professional who is still free so far. We do know who hired the hit, though.

FF: You say we like you were working with the police.

John: Well I did give a little advice and was eventually involved in the case.

FF: So who hired the hit?

John: I don’t have enough evidence to say publicly. I’ve a suspicion but would rather keep it to myself.

FF: You mentioned Gerry was killed to make a point. What was the point?

John: I think she was being punished for talking too much about certain people.

FF: Some that you don’t want to identify.

John: Yes, that’s correct. I wish I had the evidence but I don’t.

FF: Are you in any danger by talking to us in this interview?

John: I don’t see how. I haven’t said anything the police don’t know.

FF: Well that’s good.

John: I would like to say to those people who shot an innocent person, Gerry, that they’ll not get away with it and someday they’ll pay.

FF: Are you married?

John: No I’m not. As I said, I have been working a lot and no real-time for anything else. I suppose I could say my boat is my relationship right now. I guess that’s why I named her My GRL.

FF: You’ve been described as an ordinary guy caught up in unusual circumstances. How do you like that description?

John: Who says that?

FF: Reviewers

John: On one hand I’m flattered since it appears they know my personality. On the contrary, I would like to be seen as a hero. At least one time. Of course, it’s not my choice I’m more of less predestined to be what ever I turn out to be.

FF: Once you get your captain’s license will you keep chartering or go back to the law firm.

John: I really think that is a hard question to answer. Do you know what I mean when I say fourth wall?

FF: Well yeah it’s a term used to describe the fine line between fiction and reality. It’s a term from the theatre. A stage has three walls and on the other side of the fourth is where the audience is.

John: So when I say break the fourth wall you know it is a blurring of fiction and reality.

FF: Yes that’s correct.

John: Okay to answer your question about whether I’ll go back to the law firm you will have to ask the guy who authored My GRL if he has a story line that includes returning to the law firm. You could also ask if I’m going to find love and happiness. I would like to know myself.

FF: I do know him so next time we chat I’ll ask.

John: I appreciate that. I’m not sure he will take suggestions for his precious plot. In the meantime, I’ll keep an eye on those responsible for Gerry’s murder.

FF: John this was an interesting interview if somewhat different. We’re so glad you could spend time with us. Please come again.

John: Yes, it was a pleasure for me as well. Who’s the us you’re talking about?

FF: All of us here at Fiction Favorites including our boss John W. Howell.