For the last ten years, this space on Tuesday has been devoted to prompts even though the title is “Anything Possible.”
Well, today, I thought something different would be in order.
I have two friends, Tom and Dan, who regularly suggest what they consider interesting items to include in the Saturday post. Dan, for example, suggested that Roger Rabbit would make a good character. Tom keeps supplying me with security items like the anti-submarine net in the moat and the Trebuchet. In addition, there are plenty of jokes and comments that go back and forth.
This last week was very typical, but I thought I would share an example of one suggestion Tom made and a corresponding upgrade by Dan.
Tom suggested including the following list of facts in a post.
1 Biting your lips triggers a rush of chemicals in your brain that reduce anxiety, stress and boost your mood.
2 If a girl frequently plays with her hair in front of you, chances are she likes you.
3 Toy Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
4 Scotland’s national animal is the unicorn.
5 Try to breathe and swallow at the same time. You can not.
6 It is also impossible to hum while holding your nose.
7 Australia has over 10,000 beaches. You can visit a new beach every day for over 27 years!
8 The human nose can detect around 1 trillion different odors.
9 Flushing is triggered by a surge of adrenaline in the body.
10 People can detect the feeling of fear in your eyes, but they need some corresponding action to confirm it.
11 Daytime naps improve memory and reduce the risk of heart disease.
12 Japan has over 50,000 people over the age of 100.
13 Hot water can freeze faster than cold water.
14 Your brain will perform better when you believe you slept well, even if you didn’t.
I thought it was interesting and filed it away for possible use later.
Dan went on to add;
# 9 Flushing ??
In my house, it is triggered by a full toilet.
Dan would be the first to admit his bathroom humor can use some work.
Dan also wanted to add to the Friday Mastodon tooth story, so I received the following cartoon.
So as you can see, an ad hoc creative team is working behind the scenes to bring you the best content.
The latest from Tom.
I hope you enjoyed this little detour. I know I certainly enjoy Tom and Dan’s humor.
This post was run on March 6th, 2017. I’m assuming there are still some things that need to be taken care of before the arrival of summer. I hope you enjoy the list.
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Top Ten Things Not to Do While Spring Cleaning.
10 While spring cleaning, do not start a list without careful planning. If you do, at best, you’ll only waste your time haphazardly moving from one project to the next. At worst, that last missing step on the ladder will only become important when you step on it. (It is a long way down, and your screaming just woke the baby, Buford.)
9 While spring cleaning, don’t forget to look down at the wash water before throwing it out. If you do, at best, you may lose your favorite brush. At worst, your youngest may take an unplanned flight. (How did that kid get in there anyway, Buster?)
8 While spring cleaning, don’t forget the law of gravity. If you do, at best, that hammer won’t take out the patio cover. At worst, your weightlessness feeling will only be a millisecond before you reconnect with terra firma. (Those skydiving lessons were of no help on your free fall from the roof, right, Tex?)
7 While spring cleaning, do not mix several cleaning agents together. If you do, at best, you’ll only waste the materials. At worst, you may inadvertently duplicate what used to be considered a military-grade poison gas. (How’s that waiting list on the lung transplant coming along, Slick?)
6 While spring cleaning, do not try to remove spots with anything but approved removers. If you do, at best, the spot removed will be more prominent as a result of residual cleaner. At worst, that spot lifter you used clearly said not for use on leather. (How are you going to explain that missing arm on the couch, Bunky?)
5 While spring cleaning, do not think you can use a leaf blower in the living room. If you do, at best, you may be surprised at how many things go out the front door. At worst, although the knick-knack shelf is clean, there may be no more knick-knacks. (Funny how those crystal items turned to dust, huh, Ferd?)
4 While spring cleaning, do not forget to empty the vacuum cleaner during the process. If you do, at best, the job will take longer. At worst, at the end of the job, your vacuum and hose may be entirely filled, only to let go when you turn the machine off. (Didn’t plan on starting over, did you, Bosco?)
3 While spring cleaning, do not use that paint from five years ago. If you do, at best, the color will be close, and only your mother-in-law will notice. At worst, what used to be bright white woodwork will look like an original “this old house” before picture. (Now you have to do it twice, huh, Putz?)
2 While spring cleaning, do not think others want the radio that loud. If you do, at best, you may get a phone call. At worst, you will have awoken Tiny, the WWF champ who flew in from LA on the redeye and finally got to sleep. (Notice Tiny has red eyes of his own as you observe his knuckle sandwich being served a la carte, Pard.)
1 While Spring cleaning, do not underestimate the strength of your power washer. If you do, at best, you may make some marks on your house. At worst, you’ll notice the chunks of paint being stripped from the siding a little too late to avoid a complete repaint job. (“Well, that was a sound investment, wasn’t it, Darling?” Yes, you just heard the most feared words in the language)
This week we will look at the winners of the recently completed Lakeway photo festival. The rules were all photos were to be taken in Lakeway by Lakeway residents. The Lakeway Arts Committee put on another fantastic contest this year, receiving 164 submissions from 54 talented local photographers. This year’s categories included Artistic, Community, Nature/Greenery, Nature/Sky, Pets, Wildlife/Birds, and Wildlife/Critters. We are going to the award ceremony and check out the winners. We are catered by Epicere of Austin. Our entertainment is Ringo Starr.
Jessica Rabbit has two messages for me last time. The first was delivered. It had to do with the prompt. that week. When we were last together, the question came out of my mouth. “And the second?” My head is pounding, trying to convince my still-bound hands to get coffee. Tied to a chair with Jessica Rabbit casting a long shadow from the bare light bulb behind her, there is little likelihood that coffee is on the agenda.
My feeling that the next words out of Jessica’s mouth would be an offer I couldn’t refuse was confirmed when she parted her lips, slowly licked her teeth, and said, “My statue or you are a dead man.”
Stuttering and trying to explain that the statue’s location was not included in my knowledge base had little effect on Jessica’s intimidating demeanor. “It seems, She began. “That you don’t care for your life.” After a pause, she continues, “How about I take your sight one eye at a time?”
Now things are getting out of hand. If I had knowledge of the site of the stupid statue, I would give it up faster than a cat’s hairball. How to convince Jessica of this fact was the center of my mind’s activity. Finally, the solution seeped into my brain. Convincing Jessica to release me while we both go to a fictitious location where Jessica is convinced the statue is being kept might allow me to break free. It will be risky but worth a shot.
The proposal is presented to Jessica, and she bites. She lets me know that any false move will be met with extreme prejudice. She also tells me that Linda Hill called with the following message. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “sight/site.” Use one, use them both, use them any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use them both. Have fun!
Mastodon tooth found on the beach by Jennifer Schuh
Today’s good news comes from the Good News Network and is a story with a twist. Finding a tooth is in itself not the best good news. What happens later is definitely good news.
Woman Finds Foot-long Mastodon Tooth From Ice Age on a California Beach
When a California woman found what looked like used firewood on a beach, she snapped some photographs of the nevertheless strange-looking object and went on her way.
As it turns out, she had stumbled across something remarkable—a mastodon tooth, and after posting pictures of it on Facebook, set off a chain reaction that led to quite the saga.
“She didn’t know what it was, the importance of it. It looks like a piece of old firewood. So she left it there. It’s understandable,” said Wayne Thompson, a paleontology collections advisor for the Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History.
KRON4 News reports that Santa Cruz is a hotspot for mastodon remains, and Thompson himself actually reassembled a whole mastodon skull for the museum once: it took 2 years.
Thompson contacted the woman, Jennifer Schuh, explaining the situation and asking her to go back and retrieve the foot-long bone, but, as she arrived there, she realized that unlike her, someone else didn’t pass up the chance to pocket the super rare find.
A weekend of beachcombing didn’t turn it up, and so Thompson went to social media pleading to the new mystery owner to do the right thing and turn it over to the museum.
Then, a call came in from the nearby town of Aptos. Jim Smith had found it on a regular beach jog. According to Mr. Smith, he also didn’t know what it was but took it home rather than to social media.
Jim donated it to the museum.
“It’s super, super, super important for understanding elephant life in Santa Cruz County during the last Ice Age. There are only a few mammoth specimens, and mammoths are more common than mastodons. Aptos was a popular destination for Ice Age proboscideans,” Thompson told KRON4. “It’s a piece of Santa Cruz history.”
Alive for between 5 million and 10,000 years ago, mastodons are the smaller, rarer cousins of mammoths, and while Santa Cruz is famous for their remains, this is only the third-locally recorded mastodon fossil.
Schuh didn’t get to take home such an important piece of natural history and set it above her mantle, but she went online and bought a scaled replica to wear as a necklace, saying it’s not often one gets to touch something with so much history.
The good news here is Jim Smith was a conscientious citizen and turned the tooth over to the Santa Cruz Museum of Natural History. Today’s JohnKu talks about conscientiousness. I hope you have a super weekend.
“I don’t think you ever stop missing those you love, Twiggy. The key is to replace the pain of missing them with the wonderful memories you shared.”
“Like what?”
“I know you don’t remember this, but look at this photo.”
“That’s Lucy. OMG, that’s puppy me hanging on to her.”
“How about this one?”
“That’s Lucy and me playing puma and water buffalo. We loved that.”
“And you two chillin’ on the patio.”
“We did that a lot. We both enjoyed it.”
“How about Lucy trying to teach you how to lick the dishes in the dishwasher.”
“She still enjoyed that, and I wasn’t very good at it.”
“You both loved those sunny days in the yard.”
“We sure did. We had such fun out there.”
“Of course, passing out on the cold floor was a specialty.”
“Oh, that floor felt so good. I still do that and think about Lucy.”
“Remember trying to figure out a new tool?”
“Lucy was so good at getting to the bottom of things.”
“You seemed to enjoy the snow.”
“It was the first time ever. Lucy was an old hand ’cause she had seen it before.”
“How about you two trying on Christmas sweaters?”
“Poor Lucy was miserable. Hers was too small. I liked mine, though.”
“Now there’s a photo.”
“I loved taking naps with Lucy. She was always so warm.”
“So, what do you think?”
“I will always miss her but should concentrate on what we shared and remember the good times.”
“It will still hurt, Little One, but those memories will help you smile through that hurt. Dr. Seuss gives us good advice when he said, ‘Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.'”
“I can see that, Dad. I think it is time to play ball. Toss it, please.”
Here’s how it goes. I open a book to a random page. Without looking, I point to a place on the page. The word or words closest to my finger is the prompt. Today the book is The Last Stop, page 201, and the word “expression.”
This post was first run on March 13th, 2017. Although this is not spring break time, the advice still holds. I hope you enjoy it.
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Spring break inspires many things. There are enough police interventions during this time to be an inspiration for some stories. I picked a small segment of time and provide advice to those who find themselves behind the grid, so to speak.
Top Ten Things Not to Do in The Back of a Police Car
10 In the back of a police car, do not start a campfire thinking you need to stay warm. If you do, at best, the foam extinguisher may make your face break out. At worst, your dad will not answer your call, and the judge is remanding you over for psychological evaluation. (Looks like the cost of the car and long-term care will be on you, Pumpkin)
9 In the back of a police car, do not remove your clothes. If you do, at best, you will be asked to put them back on. At worst, in addition to all the charges so far, you have added indecent exposure. (Let’s see how this plays in the hometown paper, Bunky)
8 In the back of a police car, do not sing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. If you do, at best, you will be on key with no consequences. At worst, your performance will be videotaped and go viral showing up at every job interview background check for the next ten years. (Wonder why it’s so hard to find work, Buford?)
7 In the back of a police car, do not try to kick your way out. If you do, at best, you may sprain an ankle. At worst, the resisting arrest charge will require arm and leg restraints for every court appearance. (Nothing makes one look guilty quite as much as chains, huh, Tex?)
6 In the back of a police car, do not try hysterical crying as a method of possible release. If you do, at best, you may be locked up for your own protection. At worst, you may find yourself strapped to a gurney under observation at the local hospital. (This was not an intended result, was it, Bucky?)
5 In the back of a police car, do not think you are in a public restroom. If you do, at best, you find no place to wash up. At worst, you will notice the name tag on the officer now holding you around the neck, which reads, “Tiny.” (You didn’t know this was Tiny’s (WWF champ) favorite car did you, Slug? Now it might be a little too late.)
4 In the back of a police car, do not whine about the tight handcuffs. If you do, at best, you will be ignored. At worse, your cuffs will be traded out for a full straight jacket. (Makes the cuffs seem like a luxury, right, Pard?)
3 In the back of a police car, do not try to tell the officers how much of a mistake they are making in arresting you. If you do, at best, they will continue to ignore you. At worst, instead of a short ride and warning, they may personally drive you to the county jail and book you in. (Nothing like making it tougher on yourself, huh, Slick?)
2 In the back of a police car, do not wave and smile at everyone you pass. If you do, at best, no one knows who you are. At worst, unbeknownst to you, some of your parent’s friends witnessed your procession. (Those scholarship funds just aren’t going to cover all your college expenses now that you are cut off, are they, Buster?)
1 In the back of a police car, pray you don’t get sick. If you do, at best, maybe the prayer will be answered. At worst, your prayer has been ignored, and you are now faced with two angry police officers and a very messy backseat. (Tomorrow morning ought to be a beaut, huh, Roscoe?)
One of my favorite photos was taken on July 23rd, 2021, as Twiggy and Lucy celebrate the joy of their new turf.
The Producer and I know you have been following Lucy and Twiggy’s antics for the last five years. Because you have invested your time and love in these two, we feel you should know that the time has come for Lucy to take a trip across the rainbow bridge and join her sister Bailey in eternal peace. Lucy has been with us for thirteen and a half years, and we have done our best to make each day a blessing for her. She has definitely made each day a blessing for us.
Pets are the only creatures that love us more than they love themselves. Their sole existence is completely and utterly for their human family. Ultimately, it’s not about their quality of life because they’ve learned to adjust to their illnesses, and life goes on for them-good or bad. As family members, we must realize and accept that all animals are put into our lives to teach us something we could never learn on our own. When that goal is achieved, their mission on earth is complete, and their quality of life to them is perfect.
Lucy has taught us the beauty of unconditional love, both given and received. She came to us as abandoned and mistreated. Even so, her big heart opened to us and then to Twiggy. We must honor her love with heartbreaking measures that will be more than painful for us.
Lucy will be at home with us, and we will be with her when she takes her steps to peace. This will be tomorrow at 4:00 in the afternoon.
Comments will remain open. I’m not sure I will be able to respond now, but I know I will in due time. A “like” on this post represents your best wishes to all of us.
I will be taking a blog break and hope to return on Monday.
