Top Ten Things Not to Do After a Hurricane Hits Your House

Top Ten Things Not to Do

 

10 If a hurricane hits your house, do not start a Go Fund Me campaign. If you do, at best you’ll look like a privateer. At worst, you may not collect anything but some old Chucky Cheese tokens. ( Made you feel better for a day huh, Boewolf?)

9 If a hurricane hits your house, do not rush into the community to see how things are. If you do, at best you won’t be allowed in. At worst, you will get in and then need to be rescued. ( You thought the rain was over didn’t you, Berton?)

8 If a hurricane hits your house and you are allowed to visit, do not plan to stay the night. If you do, at best the police will ask you to leave. At worst, you’ll try to sleep in temperatures above ninety degrees. (You now know what a pig on a spit feels like don’t you, Blaze.)

7 If a hurricane hits your house, do not listen to fast talking con artists. If you do, at best you just say no. At worst, you authorize some repairs and hand over a down payment. (That was the last time you saw your best friend, right, Boswell?)

6 If a hurricane hits your house, do not try to turn on the water and electricity yourself. If you do, at best there will be no leaks. At worst, the broken main flooded the electrical box, and your house burned to the ground. (Gee, Branan. Maybe that plumber and electrician might have been cheaper than DYI.)

5 If a hurricane hits your house, do not open your refrigerator while alone. If you do, at best stand up wind. At worst, you could be overcome by the smell and need to be evacuated. (Shoulda thought about removing that food when you left, Brick.)

4 If a hurricane hits your house, do not drink the water until advised. If you do, at best you’ll survive. At worst, you will get amoebic dysentery. (You will survive, Bren it’s just you’ll pray you won’t.)

3 If a hurricane hits your house, do not violate the curfew. If you do, at best you’ll need to be quiet and not turn on a flashlight. At worst, the police will think you are a looter. (not very comfortable dodging bullets in your own home is it, Bryson?)

2 If a hurricane hits your house, do not ask Tiny the WWF champ to help you remove debris. If you do, at best you’ll have to feed him. At worst, he won’t know the difference between debris and the good stuff. (You were almost positive that west wall was okay before Tiny started working right, Byron?)

1 If a hurricane hits your house, do not delay filing all the forms. If you do, at best you will be at the bottom of the list.  At worst, all the funding will be gone, and you will be left without help. (Seems like your distaste for forms has finally caught up with you, Brogan.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Austin

Since we are still in Austin and looks like we will be for another week at least, this edition of Viewscomes from where we are since the views of Port Aransas are not very pretty.

Views of the Neighborhood

Here is a shot of the capital building taken from 5th Avenue and Lamar which is close to where we are staying.

Lucy and Bailey are used to a morning walk on the beach so if you don’t mind here is a pictorial of our morning walk in Austin. This is a shot of the city looking East back over our shoulders.

The first thing Lucy and Bailey had to get used to was the crosswalk.

Here is the crushed granite trail looking West. Not sand but close.

This is a view of the trail looking back toward the East

A watering station. Bailey says, “Pass.”

A lovely little creek running under the path

A shot of a golden lab hitting the water.

This is Town Lake which runs on the South side of the trail. The Golden Retriever is on the right and boaters way off to the left.

I was surprised to see Poison Ivy warnings.

Views of the Neighborhood

This is the East end of Town Lake

Fluffy white dog in the water.

All I need is the air that I breathe.

This is a platform for viewing Town Lake. The graffiti says SLEEPY and on a hot day this looked like a good nap place.

Historical information about Town Lake (Shoal Creek) and the founding of Austin as the capital

The most Eastern bank of Town Lake

Some turtles in a muddy flooded creek.

Another shot of the Eastern edge of Town Lake.

Hope you enjoyed the walk.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Birth/Berth

Stream of Consciousness

 

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this weeks prompt is Birth/Berth. Linda Hill says we can use one or the other or both. If you would like to have fun with us, please visit Linda’s blog and read all about it. Here is the link. https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-217/

Birth/Berth by John W. Howell © 2017

“Tell me again. What is your emergency.”

“I’m stuck in the upper berth on a boat, and a deer is giving birth in the lower berth.”

“Okay maybe it has been a long day, but there are a lot of birth words in your statement. Let’s break it down. You are stuck in the upper berth of a boat?”

“Yes. I can’t move.”

“Thank you. Where is the boat?”

“It is berthed in the marina.”

“Of course it is. What is the name of the boat?”

“Birth of the Blues.”

“Why am I not surprised. Tell me what happened?”

“I was trying to get away from the deer and jumped into the upper Berth.”

“Okay, and how did you get stuck?”

“I got wedged. I guess I should have left my tool belt back in the truck.”

“The deer was chasing you?”

“Yes, and I ran for this boat with her in hot pursuit.”

“Tell me about the deer.”

“She is brown with big eyes.”

“Not her appearance. Tell me what she is doing.”

“She is laying in the lower Berth giving birth.”

“So she won’t be chasing you anymore.”

“No, she is pretty busy right now.”

“The real emergency is getting you unstuck right?”

“That and getting the deer some help.”

“Okay, sir. I want you to remain on the line. We have dispatched an EMS crew to your location. Please stay calm.”

“I’m calm. I can’t speak for the deer though.”

“I understand. Any change?”

“No, my breathing has returned to normal.”

“Not you. The deer.”

“Nope still brown.”

“You are putting me on right?”

“No, I’m stuck.”

“I’m trying to find out how the deer is doing.”

“Oh, she gave birth and left.”

“So that just leaves you stuck in the berth.”

“Yes. And the bear.”

 

 

 

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

TGIF

 

It is Friday again and time to look forward to the weekend. It is also time to say thank you for all the warm wishes my family and I have received as a result of hurricane Harvey making a mess out of our island.  Thank you all.

I am happy to report that the damage is all repairable although it looks like the roof and floors will need to be replaced. There still is no electricity but that will improve. Once the electricity is on we will be able to go back. None of the repairs needed make the house uninhabitable so we are very fortunate. Others are not as fortunate. Todays John Ku talks about the importance of good wishes.

Support by John W. Howell © 2017

When the times are tough,

A kind word or wish expressed . . .

Makes the difference.

 

***

Thank you all.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Fur Kids in Exile

Stella

“Okay, John. Let’s chat.”

“Alright, Stella. What do you want to talk about?”

“Being a refugee.”

“We are not refugees. We are evacuees.”

Stella

“A rose by any other name is still a rose.”

“Okay, I’ll admit this is not ideal. We are better off than a lot of the Harvey Hurricane victims”

Stella

“Just look at you earlier. Sound asleep on your IPad.”

“Yeah and look at the covered couch.”

Lucy

“Lucy looks content.”

“Feed her and she’d be content on an iceberg.”

Bailey

“And look at Bailey. She is on the couch too.”

“The same covered couch.”

Lucy

“You know Boss this isn’t home.”

“I know, Lucy but home has no electricity, water, or sewer.”

“Well if we are all there that wouldn’t matter.”

“Yes, but isn’t it better to be comfortable? We are all here.”

Bailey

“I guess pop.”

“Thank you, Bailey. I knew I could count on you to be logical.”

“When we heading home?”

“Might be a while yet kids.”

“I think we ought to remember the victims who lost everything and the first responders who saved countless lives at the risk of their own.”

“We agree, Boss. Thanks.”

 

Lucy and Bailey

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we stood by as Harriet offered to get Lucas, a lawyer. We all thought that was a little odd and asked ourselves the question, “What is on her agenda.” Well, it is hoped that we find out over time. Let’s get back to the hospital since I see Harriet has left Lucas’ room and is heading toward the cafeteria.

“Well, well, well. look who’s here.”
“Hi, Harriet.”
“Hi, Alice. Hello, Seth or should I call you the High Sheriff.”
“Now what’s that supposed to mean.”
“Your ex-husband is harassing my employee.”
“Now Miss Harriet.”
“Don’t Miss Harriet me, Seth Gibson. You know you are way outside your jurisdiction when you are messing around in affairs that are supposed to be handled in Kenosha.”
“I’m a peace officer. As such I can investigate any situation where I believe the law has been broken. Also, as a private citizen, I have a responsibility to uncover any situation where I think the law has been broken.”
“Hog wash, Seth. For some reason, you are putting your big nose into things that don’t concern you. I’m beginning to think you have something against Lucas and you are trying to railroad him into jail.”
“Not true, Harriet.”
“Oh, my. A little close to the bone Sheriff Gibson? You dropped your Miss Harriet mannerism.”
“You know what? I don’t have to sit here and take crap from you. I’m going in there and have a little discussion with Lucas right now.”
“Good luck with that. You are going to have to go through Lucas’ attorney. You want to speak to Lucas you call this number on his card.”
“What’s this now? Jason McDonnell, Attorney at Law.”
“Yup. He’s the one. Give him a call.”
“Why are you doing this, Miss Harriet?”
“Yes, Harriet. Why?”
“Let me tell you two. One. I think ole Seth there has a crush on you Alice and wants Lucas out-of-the-way. Two. I’m not about to see an innocent boy get swept up in the justice system on the whim of a fat, out of his element, overblown, and judgmental sheriff. So, Seth you better make that call or I will be calling the county prosecutor regarding your disregard for legal rights.”
“Boy, Miss Harriet. That sure came from a dark place. Fine, I’ll call then speak to the boy. Good bye ladies.”

 

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #137

Keith’s words. “Using this photo ( Below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6 pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The Photo

Kreative Kue #137

The Project by John W. Howell © 2017

“So how long have you been working this project?”

“Hmm. Let me think. I think I joined the group when I was about twenty.”

“Okay. You look about sixty. That is a long time.”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

“Oh, my goodness. I apologize. It must have been the gray hair that threw me.”

“Yeah, I can see that. I guess it fools a lot of people.”

“Any idea why your hair turned?”

“I do have an idea. It is this project.”

“OMG. I just joined this project.  Can you give me some pointers?”

“I guess I could. For one thing, if you decide on a flying buttress, do not change your mind.”

“Why would I change my mind?”

“Believe me there could be a few reasons.”

“Name one.”

“The chief.”

“The Chief? Who’s that?”

“Not who. The question should have been ‘What’s that?’”

“Okay. What is the Chief?”

“The One and Only. The Big Kahuna. The Whole Enchilada.”

“I’m still confused.”

“The being that decided it needed this Edifice Rex.”

“You talking about the Creator?”

“Among a few who would want a house like this.”

“Naw. C’mon. If the Creator wanted a house like this, it would be a snap of the fingers.”

“I didn’t say it was the Creator.”

“Who then?”

“Think opposite.”

“You mean?”

“Welcome to hell, kid.”

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do When a Hurricane is Headed Your Way

Hurricane Harvey

 

10 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think it would be a good time to surf the storm surge. If you do, at best the authorities will arrest you. At worst, you’ll ride that last big one into the next county. (Now you have to figure a way back huh, Banjo?)

9 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not decide to ride it out at home. If you do, at best you’ll have a flotation device. At worst, you will need to tread water until you find dry land again. (maybe that couch floating by will be of some use, Beauregard.)

8 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you can take everything you own with you. If you do, at best you will come to your senses. At worst, once the car is packed you’ll find you have no room for the family. (Now logic says the family is more important than your beer cap collection right, Bently?)

7 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you won’t need a plan. If you do, at best the hurricane will go somewhere else. At worst, Tiny the WWF champ who has the lowest seniority on the first responder team will be picking you off your roof. (You are right to wonder if he might drop you before getting into the helicopter, Bertrand.)

6 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think the Dominos Pizza delivery man will be your back up food plan. If you do, at best your supply of Fritos and dip will last. At worst, you’ll be down to the crumbs in the bread bag and the worm in the bottle. (Guess you should have stocked up on more than party supplies, Bowie.)

5 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not underestimate its strength. If you do, at best that patio furniture will blow out to sea instead of into your living room. At worst, that refrigerator on your porch that you insisted would stay put has been responsible for repeated entrances and exits from your house. (Never thought that thing could make so many holes did you, Bruno?)

4 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not wait until the last-minute to leave. If you do, at best you will have to wait in traffic. At worst, you will be riding out the hurricane on the side of the road. (Yes your car will float for a while, Barnard, but then sinking is inevitable.)

3 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think you will be allowed back to your house quickly after it is over. If you do, at best you will be very frustrated. At worst, those temporary arrangements you made look to be more permanent than the patience of your host. (Maybe time to find some temporary housing, Benny. Your host has a funny look while sharpening those knives.)

2 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not think your WiFi and cell service will continue throughout the storm. If you do, at best you will recapture what life was like before these services were invented. At worst, your advanced case of Fear of Missing Out will cause you to require medical attention. ( At least that injection the nurse just gave you has a calming effect, Benson)

1 When a hurricane is headed your way, do not worry about things that can be replaced. If you do, at best your priorities will probably need to change. At worst, you will spend worry time on things that in reality don’t mean a thing. (I guess you’ve been told huh, Buford.)

Sally’s Odd Jobs and Characters – Guest Post _ Sally G. Cronin

Odd Jobs and Characters – The Steak House by Sally Cronin

I am so pleased to have Sally Cronin visit and talk about her odd jobs and the characters she has met. The blog is yours, Sally.

Thank you so much, John, for hosting my Odd Jobs and Characters post and I hope that you and your readers enjoy the story.

I began my training as an assistant manager in a steak house in Kent in 1974. For the six months, I would rotate around through the two bars and two restaurants that served a simple menu of steak, chicken, and fish. Most dishes came with either French fries (chips) and peas. For the more health conscious there was a jacket potato option, but by the time several pats of butter had been added, it was as fattening as the fries. Dessert options were ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkled nuts, or apple pie and cream. The wine menu was short and featured the German white wines so popular at the time, with much touting of the young French red wines with alleged body and clarity.

However, despite not being a Michelin starred establishment, the training was considered to be one of the best in that particular area of the hospitality industry. It was certainly intensive, and when you consider the hours we worked daily, six days a week, the six months training was actually something you would normally complete in twelve months.

The building itself had been built in 1812 and sported the red flocked wallpaper so fashionable in the 1960s and 1970s. Smoking was still in its hey day and the ceiling was a curious shade of tobacco after 150 years of nicotine exhalation. The smell that greeted you in the morning was ‘eau de tabac’ laced with beer overtones. When you had been working until after midnight, had barely six hours sleep, you found yourself declining anything but black coffee until lunchtime.

I have to say that I loved it, despite the hard work and long hours. We had some very interesting regulars, and the locals embraced the concept of the steak house with gusto. It was cheap and cheerful, and as music blared out on a Friday and Saturday night, both downstairs and upstairs bars and restaurants were packed. The waiting list for a table could be an hour or more, but beer and schooners of sherry (lethal), dulled the senses sufficiently for the wait to be quite jovial.

During the day, only the downstairs restaurant was in use and was consistently busy. This offered the assistant managers time to do the usual administrative work needed to run the steak house, such as ordering food and spirits and cleaning the bars after the night before.

In the evenings it was my job to run the upstairs restaurant, with a team of waitresses waiting on the tables, and two bar staff, who alternated between serving pre-dinner drinks and after dinner liqueur coffees with assorted spirits (this is pre-drink-driving laws!).

The waitresses were rushed off their feet as they juggled three or four large plates laden with steak, chicken, and sides. My job to help in reducing the waiting list was to clear the tables as soon as the diners had paid, and re-equip with cutlery, glasses, and napkins as rapidly as possible. I would then dash back to the bar and announce the name of the lucky party over the tannoy system, who could now stagger after me into the restaurant.

One Saturday night in the middle of a very busy service, I had to handle a potentially difficult situation that could have ended up in the papers (thank goodness there were no mobile phones in those days). As you will remember this building was old, and there were dark recesses within the walls and ceilings, that you would have been wise to avoid for what might reside there.

I was checking the state of play on progress at a number of tables where the patrons were wiping away the evidence of their chocolate sundae. I noticed a man at a table with a party of six, bend down to retrieve his napkin. Instead, he came up with something smaller and definitely furrier than the paper serviette. I suspect that as a natural reflex, he stood with his arm held straight out from his body, clearly amazed at his catch. From my vantage point at the entrance to the restaurant, I identified the rotating body of a dead mouse.

There is a split second between shocked discovery and the public announcement of the find. Although never great at school at the 100 metre dash, I now excelled myself. Dropping the waiting list on the bar, I rushed through the restaurant and snatched the unfortunate deceased rodent from its captor, continuing on to the kitchen at warp speed. I deposited the mouse in the bin and turned and raced back the other way to find the patron staring at his hand and looking around in confusion.

Lighting in the restaurants was provided by dim wall lights in order to provide a romantic and intimate feel to the experience. It also served to conceal the tobacco infused ceiling and rather dodgy carpet. It also thankfully managed to befuddle the diner, who thankfully had not only consumed four pints of beer in the bar beforehand, but also a bottle of our best Liebfraumilch. I added to the befuddlement, by handing him his fallen napkin, and asking if the party would be interested in some liqueur coffees on the house, to compensate them for their long wait before dining.

An exterminator was called the next day and traps were hidden in all the usual haunts. But there was a postscript to this story.

One of the waitresses was a bit of a madam and was always giving the chef grief. As part of the staff’s pay, supper was included before the restaurants opened in the evening. The day after the incident, this particular waitress retrieved her indicated supper from the hot plate, and on sitting down, removed the cover. She issued a piercing scream that probably cleared the rodents from the building far more effectively than the traps. I came over to find out what the problem was, to discover her staring at her plate of battered mouse, French fries, and peas.

All the previous posts in the series can be found in this directory with links to my host’s blog https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/sallys-odd-jobs-and-characters/

About Sally Cronin

My name is Sally Cronin and after working in a number of industries for over 25 years, I decided that I wanted to pursue a completely different career, one that I had always been fascinated with. I began studying Nutrition and the human body twenty years ago and I opened my first diet advisory centre in Ireland in 1998. Over the last 18 years I have practiced in Ireland and the UK as well as written columns, articles and radio programmes on health and nutrition.

I published my first book with a Canadian self-publisher in the late 90s and since then have republished that book and released ten others as part of our own self-publishing company. Apart from health I also enjoy writing fiction in the form of novels and short stories.

My latest book – What’s in a Name? – Volume Two.

Our legacy is not always about money or fame, but rather in the way that people remember our name after we have gone. In these sixteen short stories we discover the reasons why special men and women will stay in the hearts and minds of those who have met them. Romance, revenge and sacrifice all play their part in the lives of these characters.Kenneth watches the love of his life dance on New Year’s Eve while Lily plants very special flowers every spring for her father. Martha helps out a work colleague as Norman steps back out into the world to make a difference. Owen brings light into a house and Patrick risks his life in the skies over Britain and holds back from telling a beautiful redhead that he loves her.

My other books

All books are available Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/Sally-Cronin/e/B0096REZM2

You can connect to Sally

Blog: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/sgc58
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sally.cronin

Thank you again, John for your hospitality.

Views of the Neighborhood – Evacuees in Austin

This post normally has views of Port Aransas, but in case you don’t know we have evacuated from there to Austin. We still do not have information on the condition of our home, but we are all safe. I had intended to take photos of the state capital and other sights, but the rain has been quite heavy making it difficult to get around. I hope you like the tour of our current neighborhood.

Views of the neighborhood

This is the apartment building of our youngest. (Yes, we Bogarted our way in.)

I thought this was an interesting window. It is in the AT&T store window, advertising that they support the University of Texas.

Austin is a pet-friendly city. Most stores have water bowls for thirsty dogs.. You can see how the wind is shaking the glass behind.

Of course, Bailey only drinks Perrier.

Where we live on the island the West Elm store is 180 miles away. This West Elm was 180 steps.

As I mentioned pet-friendly. Bailey said she was busy on Saturday

This will give you an idea of the buildings downtown. The Whole Foods store is to the left and not pictured.

I couldn’t help thinking of Dan Antion. City equals graffiti.

Here is a real work of art. Um well, it is a work anyway. This is an old building on some pretty expensive real estate. Lucy and Bailey love to go under that tree in the rain.

Here is the Austin train station. (Doesn’t look like much does it?)

Austin train

Yes, Dan. That is the Amtrak locomotive with sleeper and baggage car.

We hope to be able to go back to Port Aransas soon.