Tuesday – Any Thing Possible – Kreative Kue #150 by Keith Channing

November 28, 2017November 27, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keith@channing.info before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t often work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.

The Photo.

“Can’t you hear my heartbeat?”

“Excuse me. I didn’t hear what you said.”

“Oh, it was just a lyric to a song.”

“It sounded nice. Say it again.”

“When I feel you put your arms around me
Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heartbeat?”

“My goodness that sounds rather sexy.”

“When you move up closer to me
I get a feelin’ that’s ooo-wee.”

“So where did you hear this song?”

“It was on the radio this morning.”

“This morning and you still remember it?”

“Get real. Of course. I remember it.”

“Do you remember any more of it?”

“Can’t you hear the poundin’ of my heartbeat
’cause you’re the one I love, you’re the one I love.”

“Oh, that is so nice. How about you and I going out?”

“Hey boy. Have you forgotten where you are?”

“I don’t think so. Why.”

“We are kids for heaven’s sake. We can’t go out.”

“But you said you loved me.”

“It’s just a song. Besides we are supposed to be undercover. How would it look if we went on a date?”

“Who would know. It’s not like we would make out or anything.”

“I’m not so sure about you. Besides our orders are clear. Lay low and be children and wait for the rest of the invaders.”

“I know, I know. I just thought we had something that’s all.”

“Try to remember the mission and keep dancing Zogtool.”

“Hey, only my friends get to call me Zogtool.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell it to the Galactic troopers.”

“Ah, your mother wears anti-gravity boots.”

Top Ten Things Not to Do While Decorating the House for the Holidays

November 27, 2017November 26, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

The inspiration for this list came naturally from having decorated a number of houses over the years. I guess I could be guilty of some of these, but not all. I hope you enjoy.

10 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not ignore the number of lights on a continuous string instruction on the lights. If you do, at best you will trip a circuit breaker. At worst, you may take down the Eastern seaboard grid. (Who’s going to pay that bill, Caelan? Don’t forget the lawsuits that range anywhere from unwanted pregnancy to being trapped in an elevator.)

9 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not hire unlicensed contractors especially if they are named Tiny the WWF champ who just got out of confined anger management care. If you do, at best you may get off with a broken window or two. At worst, you may find your lights wadded in a ball in your neighbors living room. (How were you to know your neighbor would yell at Tiny and tell him to turn down the rap music, Cane? Also, how would you know Tiny would jump through your neighbor’s roof and take out a floor and ceiling on his way to the living room. The big question to be answered now is where is Tiny and your neighbor?)

8 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not use the twenty-four-foot ladder to reach the peak of the roof. If you do, at best you’ll be stopped by someone who loves you. At worst, you’ll plant that corner star just before your free fall to eternity. (Man. that was a mammoth first step down, wasn’t it Calder?)

7 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think all garland is alike. If you do, at best you’ll have a mismatched mess. At worst, just as you finish with the final strand and just before frostbite sets in you will be told to change it. (You had the courage to go up on that ladder once huh, Caly? How about now?)

6 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think you must out decorate your neighbor. If you do, at best you’ll end up spending too much money. At worst your neighbor increased his light and display capability last year when all the decorations were seventy percent off. (He has way too much stuff for you to finish on top, Carlton. You may take a lesson and wait for the sale and catch him next year.”

5 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not think everyone in the neighborhood likes all green lights. If you do, at best there will be no comments. At worst, you will find a picture of your house on Facebook with the caption, “The most non-original decoration on the planet.” (Kinda hurts your feelings doesn’t it, Cartland? Green is your favorite color.)

4 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not forget to fasten the decorations well. If you do, at best there will be no wind. At worst, your decorations will be at the mercy of the nighttime winter winds. (It is no problem collecting your lights from the next door neighbor, right Chadwick?)

3 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not forget to double-check the timer. If you do at best, the lights will come on too early. At worst, the lights will come on at the right time but burn throughout the night (What would be even worse is they come on at six am and go off at six pm, Chas.)

2 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not use blow-up lawn decorations. If you do, at best they look like piles of plastic during the day. At worse the blow up machine could get a short and your blow-up decoration looks like an entry in the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. (Whoever thought Rudolf could get that big just before he exploded, Clemens?)

1 If you are decorating your house for the holidays, do not have Holiday music on an outdoor speaker. If you do, at best your neighbors will complain. At worst, you unknowingly violated the town noise ordinance. (Not a good idea to tell the SWAT team to get off your property, Cleveland. Too bad about that new storm door.)

Views of the Neighborhood – Recovery

November 26, 2017August 24, 2019 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

Today on Views of the Neighborhood I want to give you a glimpse of a few of the merchants who are still not in their buildings but who have decided to start on the road to recovery their own way. Most businesses in Port Aransas lost their buildings. A few have decided to open with some temporary accommodations. I hope you enjoy the view.

The United States Post Office is up and running in temporary buildings on the original site but opposite the damaged building.

Ace Hardware pulled in a trailer and several Pods and now supply basic hardware items. The original store is behind the trailer and being worked on.

Coffee Waves is our local version of Starbucks. It is still not ready for use.

But you can still get a coffee in the parking lot. Their trailer is up and running.

My bank is open in a temporary trailer which is in front of the bank building.

The design Center is open for consultations. Their branch in Corpus Christi has the inventory.

Billy Joes is open with a food trailer. Billy Joe served free Thanksgiving meals on thanksgiving Day out of this trailer.

The Fly It Port A kite store is selling their kites on the front parking lot of the store. The store itself is under renovation.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ink”

November 25, 2017November 24, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 34 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “Ink.” Linda Hill says we can use it any way we want. If you would like to join in this happy band of nut cases visit Linda’s blog and find out how. Don’t worry no one will slip you into a straight jacket on the first visit. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2017/11/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-25-17/

“You come back from that place with the weirdest stuff.”

“Weird? What’s weird about this?”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“No. I’m serious. What is weird about the word ink?

“For one if you were going to make something out of the word you would have to write about printing.”

“That’s not true. Remember we can use the word any way we want.”

“Okay, how would you use it?”

“One example is we could talk about a squid.”

“A squid? What would you make out of a squid?”

“Try this. ‘The giant squid wrapped its tentacles around the boat and dragged it shrouded in a black cloud of ink to the bottom of the sea.”‘

“That is pretty exciting. What’s next?”

“What about another use?”

“Lay it on me.”

“Two guys hunched over a desk. One says to the other, ‘Let’s ink this contract so the people can get back to work.'”

“I like that. A labor story. What else?”

“A guy walks into a tattoo parlor. The proprietor looks up from the counter. ‘You here for the ink?’ he says.”

“Ah, the great anti-establishment story. Any more?”

“The young kid holding his dog looked up at the man. ‘His name is Ink cause he’s so black. Can you save him?”‘

“Aw, a boy and his dog story. Another?”

“A guy on a soapbox sweeps his arm at the unruly crowd. “I’ll tell you what INK stands for. I for Intensity. N for Now and K for Knuckleballers. Now go get them.”‘

“Knuckleballers? What kind of story is that?”

“It’s a baseball story.”

“Where did the initials come from?”

“They were on the locker room wall.”

“you are making this up as you go along aren’t you?”

“How can you tell? Go INK.”

“Go INK indeed.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

November 24, 2017November 23, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

Since most have the Friday after Thanksgiving off, we need to change the meaning of TGIF. My idea here is to slow down the passing of Friday and the rest of the weekend. So for this week only let’s just say TGIF means Thursday’s Gift Is Friday. So we have the whole day, and the next two before reality comes knocking at our door.

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving and are not going to be mauled too much taking advantage of the Black Friday deals. Today’s JohnKu raises a question about Black Friday. Hope you have a good weekend.

Get up before dawn,

Freeze until the doors open. . .

Or order online.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Happy Thanksgiving

November 23, 2017November 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

A wish for a very Happy Thanksgiving to all in the US and to the rest a day of peace.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 22, 2017November 21, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 41 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we saw the PI Frank Plano get Seth’s goat. As we all suspect Seth looks like he has something to hide. At the very least he is out of sorts about something. I now see Frank has left Seth’s office and drove out to have a discussion with Harriet Murphy. Might be a good idea to go and see what he has to say to Harriet.

“Come in Mr. Plano. I have some coffee brewing in the kitchen. Follow me, and we can be more comfortable there.”
“The coffee does smell good, Mrs. Murphy lead the way.”
“You can sit there, Mr. Plano. How do you take your coffee.”
“Just a touch of cream if you have it.”
“I do, Mr. Plano. I just finished baking some oatmeal cookies so help yourself from that plate there.”
“My goodness, Mrs. Murphy you know how to treat a guest.”
“You can call me Harriet. Okay if I call you Frank?“
“That would be just fine. Mmm, this cookie is to die for.”
“Here’s your coffee. Take a sip of that with your cookie.”
“Ah. This is heaven. Thank you for seeing me, Harriet.”
“My pleasure Frank. What can I do to help you?”
“You are very close to the Severide boy aren’t you?”
“You mean Lucas? He’s not a boy Frank. He is an adult.”
“Yes. My apologies. he certainly is.”
“I understand he works for you.”
“Yes. He’s my painter.”
“And you are paying his medical and legal bills.”
“Legal bills? How did you find that out?”
“Harriet. I am surprised you should ask in that you have hired one of the best private detectives around.”
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Let’s say you caught me on that.”
“So why are you doing all this for Lucas?”
“First of all he fell from my roof, and I think it is my responsibility.”
“And second?”
“I feel sorry for him losing his family and all.”
“How much do you know about that?”
“About what?”
“The death of his parents.”
“Nothing. Why do you ask?“
“There is a rumor going around about you and Mrs. Weston.”
“Rumor? What kind of rumor?”
“That you are, um shall we say, in a relationship.”
“What does that have to do with Lucas’ parents?”
“Oh, it may have nothing to do with Lucas’ parents if you and Alice are not covering up anything.”
“What are you saying Mr. Plano?”
“Wasn’t Alice taken in for drug possession.”
“So?”
“Weren’t you with her that night?”
“And if I was?”
“Didn’t the sheriff get her off?”
“I have nothing more to say to you, Mr. Plano. Please leave.”
“May I finish my cookie?”
“I think you can take it with you. Good day, sir.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #149

November 21, 2017November 20, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

The photo.

“I don’t often come this way.”

“Why not?”

“Well, the neighborhood is a little sketchy.”

“What do you mean by sketchy?”

“Take those two birds we just passed for example.”

“Those guys behind us?”

“Yeah, didn’t you think they were a little odd?”

“I thought they were beautiful. Those feathers were something else.”

“What about the way they looked at us?”

“I didn’t notice anything.”

“The one standing sneered.”

“Sneered? How is that possible he has a bill like us.”

“Maybe it was the look in his eye.”

“You are way too self-conscious. Not all birds can be like you and me.”

“Check out these two weirdos up ahead.”

“Those beautiful black and brown guys?”

“Yup those two.”

“What’s the problem?”

“You ever see a black and brown bird before?”

“No can’t say I have.”

“That’s just what I’m talking about. How do you know they can be trusted.”

“Are you saying because they look different from us maybe they can’t be trusted?”

“Exactly.”

“How about you, Can you be trusted?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course, I can be trusted. Why would you ask?”

“Let’s face facts here. You and I are the only white birds on this block.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Don’t you think those other birds are wondering if you can be trusted because you have no beautiful feathers?”

“Why would they think that?”

“Why do you?”

Top Ten Things Not to Do on Thanksgiving

November 20, 2017November 19, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 88 Comments

The inspiration for this list is the fact that this week is Thanksgiving here in the US. There have been a number of Thanksgiving situations which I personally witnessed, and I thought it would be fun to capture them and provide ample warning for your occasion this year. If you have ever done any of these things, it might be a nice change to sit back and let others have center stage this year.

10 On Thanksgiving, do not try to prepare the perfect Turkey. If you do, at best you’ll have reason to dry. At worst, not only is this year’s turkey not perfect, it is the worst one ever. (Nothing like eating what resembles dry balsa wood huh, Chandler?)

9 On Thanksgiving, do not invite your cousin Tiny the WWF wrestling champ to your house for dinner. If you do, at best you’ll possibly get by with only a broken dining room chair. At worst, Tiny and your uncle Jim will continue the feud begun last year’s Thanksgiving dinner. (Who is going to clean up what looks like a movie bar fight scene in your living room, Cohen? Not to mention reviving Aunt Helen.)

8 On Thanksgiving, do not try out that experimental stuffing recipe on the family. If you do, at best you’ll have plenty left over. At worst, the family will feel cheated out of a traditional dinner. (Who started the food fight is not a question that needs an answer right now, Canyon. It is probably more important to get that stuff off the walls before it hardens.)

7 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can deep-fry your Turkey in the kitchen. If you do, at best your place will smell like an oil derrick for a month. At worst, the fire department will declare what’s left of your house and lot a hazardous waste site.(Who is going to cover the EPA bill for clean-up, Channing?)

6 On Thanksgiving, do not think it is a good idea to start serving mimosas at eleven o’clock. If you do, at best you’ll run out of Champaign before everyone is blitzed. At worse all your guests have lost interest in the dinner and are out in the yard trying to work off the Champaign with touch football. (Don’t worry, Cortez. Sooner or later they will be back for the leftovers.)

5 On Thanksgiving, do not try some unnatural seating configuration thinking it will liven the conversation. If you do, at best you won’t seat sworn enemies next to each other. At worst, since you now have strangers all having to talk to strangers the sound of crickets is deafening.(That magazine suggestion doesn’t seem all that good right now does it, Cord?)

4 On Thanksgiving, do not think everyone in the world would enjoy a tofu turkey. If you do, at best the polite ones will give it a try. At worst, you will wonder why all your guests are on the phone ordering Dominoes delivery. (The fact that you were looking out for everyone’s health doesn’t seem worthwhile now, Cable.)

3 On Thanksgiving, do not think because you hate pumpkin pie, everyone else does as well. If you do, at best your banana creme will be well received. At worst, the traditionalists will find an excuse to leave early so they can pick up a frozen Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie. (Hare to believe you only have one guest remaining isn’t it, Cacey?)

2 On Thanksgiving, do not think sharing leftovers is not expected. If you do, at best you’ll get some strange looks as people leave. At worst, your loudest relative will ask out loud, What? No leftovers to take home? (Maybe you should have put together some to go containers, Cadell. Well there is always next year if any return.)

1 On Thanksgiving, do not think you can turn off the football game. If you do, at best you’ll have some complaints. At worst, you will discover most of the guests in your bedroom watching the game anyway. (It is shocking that people want to watch a game even if it is the two worst teams playing. Right, Cadell?)

Views of the Neighborhood – Thanksgiving Feast

November 19, 2017November 18, 2017 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

A group of volunteers from Kyle, Texas decided they would come down to Port Aransas and set up a Thanksgiving dinner as a way to help. The reason for doing so, as explained by Deborah the organizer, “Our hearts are with Port Aransas.” So she began to organize a Thanksgiving dinner for all Port Aransas residents. She made a point in telling me that she never asked for volunteers. All her help came from those who wanted to be a part of something beautiful. All the volunteers live in the greater Austin area which is a three and one half hour drive to Port Aransas.

As you enter the cafeteria there is a place to fill out a name tag. This one idea had everyone feeling that they knew everyone else.

Here are some folks beginning to arrive.

More arrivals

There was ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes, green beans, and corn. Notice the smiles of the volunteers

Of course a roll too.

The tables were set with festive decorations.

There were pies, cookies, and cakes for dessert along with a big pot of coffee.

This is the wonderful family from Kyle that took it upon themselves to reach out with full hearts and share the joy of Thanksgiving with a town in need. Many thanks to you all.

This is a shot of the cafeteria from the outside.

I wanted to put in a photo of the H. G. Olsen Elementary School which is right next door to the cafeteria to give you an idea of how much planning it must have taken to secure a venue for the Thanksgiving event.

Here are a few of the temporary buildings now known as Olsen Elementary School South Campus.

As a footnote to this story, I was at the hardware store after taking the photos. While I was there two meals from the Thanksgiving event were delivered to the two employees working. Both were overwhelmed by the generosity of the folks from Kyle Texas.