Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Novel”

November 5, 2016November 5, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 38 Comments

SOCS

It is that time of the week again when I throw caution to the wind and take part in the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. This week the word is “Novel.” This is a word I know by heart. If you would like to participate, go to Linda Hill’s site and read how. Here is the link https://lindaghill.com/2016/11/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-516/

“Is that it?”

“Sure is.”

“Looks smaller than I thought.”

“It is a novel, not a baby.”

“Yeah, I know that. I just pictured it as a bigger book.”

“It is a standard size.”

“Let me hold it.”

“You have clean hands?”

“For heaven’s sake, it’s a novel, not a baby.”

“I just don’t want any smudges on the cover.”

“Yes, my hands are clean.”

“Okay hold your hand under the back cover.”

“You have got to be kidding me. It’s a novel, not a baby.”

“Well, maybe I’m a little fussy. It just may be like a baby to me.”

“Okay, I’ll be careful.”

“Here.”

“My goodness, it’s light.”

“It’s a novel, not a baby.”

“I get that I just thought it would be heavier.”

“Don’t ruffle the pages like that. Hey, don’t bend the pages back so hard.”

“Here take it. it is a baby, not a novel.”

“Thanks. I think it is a novel novel.”

“I believe you need to see someone.”

Friday JohnKu – AKA – TGIF

November 4, 2016November 3, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 65 Comments

TGIF

Another week has flown by. I wish I knew where the time goes. (well, I do know where it goes but it is hard to believe how quick it goes there.)

Continue to edit on Circumstances of Childhood. Found a couple of plot holes so it is a grab the backhoe maneuver and work to fill ’em up.

I also commissioned a new cover for My GRL. Why you ask? Long story but here is the short version. My contract with the publisher of My GRL is up for renewal in March. I do not want to renew so I will give the proper notice and then publish My GRL with that beautiful publishing house Keewaydin Lane Books.(Me). I don’t have the rights to the cover so I need to get a new one. Also, I’m getting a complete professional edit to clean up some things the publisher missed. I’m not going to make a big deal about it but what it will do is free up My GRL for some promotional work.

Also, there are only four more days of the campaign hell so I’m sure we will be able to look forward to the vote counting hell to follow. I wonder what the new term will be for “hanging chad.” Today’s JohnKu is about the election. Sadly we are all pawns in a ridiculous game.

First the campaign noise,

Next the voting fraud specter. . .

Who can help us cope?

Thursday- A Little Personal – #RRBC Rave Waves Interview of Moi

November 3, 2016November 2, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

Behind the Pen

I am very pleased to be asked to be interviewed by Gwen Plano host of the Rave Waves Behind the Pen show this Saturday, November 5th at noon Central. The show can be listened to live or if you miss it on the archive edition. The direct link is http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ravereviewsbookclub/2016/11/05/rrbc-rave-waves-blogtalkradio-behind-the-pen-with-john-w-howell

Gwen

Gwen is the author of Letting Go into Perfect Love. Click the cover to go to Amazon.

So come listen. I think you might enjoy it.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

November 2, 2016October 31, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 35 Comments

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story day again and this week’s episode is sponsored by Dan Antion. For those of you who don’t read the comments on this story, Dan has been advocating shooting all the characters and be done with it. I have to admit emotionally I am in Dan’s camp. Visit Dan at his blog No Facilities. He has some super features. Here is the link.
Last week we left Ralph being honked off at the SWAT commander for calling him a nut. The commander didn’t mean to do that, but the phone at Ralph’s end was on speaker, so he heard the comment. Let’s go back and see what consequences are brought to bear. (A little literary drama for the high brows)
“Now slow down Ralph. You need to remain calm.”
“Calm for who commander?”
“Agent Lightfoot. You still there?”
“Yes, commander.”
“Can you convince Ralph—”
“Mr. Worthe to you copper.”
“Okay, Mr. Worthe. Lightfoot can you convince Mr. Worthe that he needs to remain calm.”
“Lightfoot is in no position to convince anyone of anything. He is a liar. He showed up trying to convince us he is a priest and come to find out he is an FBI stooge.”
“Mr. Worthe. We are working on your demands and just want you to take it easy, so there are no accidents.”
“Yeah, I heard about your accidents commander. Ask all the people in the Branch Davidians about an accident. You threatening me Commander.”
“No Ra—er Mr. Worthe. No threats. We can’t have you being upset and accidentally shooting Lightfoot now can we?”
“ It would be no accident, commander.”
“Lightfoot. You okay?”
“I am Commander.”
“So let’s leave it that we will be arranging transportation for you Mr. Worth. We can’t get a helicopter into this neighborhood. There are too many trees. So we will get a nice big SUV . You will be taken to the airport where there is a jet waiting to take you to the Cayman Islands. How’s that sound.”
“I’m not happy about the helicopter but understand. When does the SUV get here?”
“I’d say in ten minutes or so.”
“Fine. Worthe out.”
“Okay, Lightfoot. I have to say you were right about calling them.”
“Thank you, Ralph.”
“Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Yeah I get it.”
“What about us Dear?”
“Trudy you and Alexis will stay close to me. Lightfoot will be our shield. I’m sure they will have a sharpshooter out there and will try to pick me off. I’m going to be in the middle of all of you.”
“You using us as a shield?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, Trudy.”
“I don’t know how else to put it.”
“Calm down it will be okay.”
“You are a beast your know that Ralph?”
“Now Trudy.”
“Yeah, daddy. I’ve never heard of a father using his child as a shield.”
“I think you are losing control, Ralph.”
“Shut up Lightfoot and its Mr. Worthe to you.”
I have to agree with Lightfoot; it does look like Ralph is losing control. Come back next week for another episode. In the meantime visit Dan Antion at http://www.nofacilities.com

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #98 by Keith Channing.

November 1, 2016October 31, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 37 Comments

Here is how Keith explains it. “Using this photo (below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm next Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t work.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.”

The photo

Kreative Kue #98

“There I felt it again.”

“Come on. I’m telling you there are no ants here.”

“Then why do I feel them on my neck?”

“I think you’re imagining them. It may be that stop at the ant farm has gotten to you.”

“What are you stomping on over there?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m doing a little folk dance is all.”

“Who’s folk are you dancing for?”

“Ananda sweetheart what is that boy doing?”

“He says he’s doing a folk dance mama. I think he is trying to stomp on the ants that are all over here.”

“Yes. One landed on my mouth. I can still feel it.”

“Can we leave this place?”

“I thought we were going to have a picnic?”

“How can we with all these insects.”

“Correction dear. These are ants.”

“How can we with all these ants?”

“I do believe it is written that the first major ingredient for a picnic is ants. You father is holding the cooler, and I imagine it is getting heavy about now.”

Ten Things Not to Do on Halloween

October 31, 2016October 30, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Halloween

I’m pretty sure I don’t have to explain the inspiration for this list. Since today is Halloween, it is pretty obvious. Yes, there are some things on this list that I have done, but I’ll let you figure out which ones.

Ten Things Not to Do on Halloween

10 On Halloween, do not run out of candy. If you do, at best you will be marked as a cheap skate. At worst, the amount of soap on your windows will require a profession crew to remove. (That handing out pennies idea didn’t work so well did it, Rube?)

9 On Halloween, do not try to hide in the basement with all the lights off. If you do, at best you will miss out on some cute costumes. At worst, the gremlins, witches, and goblins will make it a point to discover why you are not home. (That glowing computer screen did you in Ferd.)

8 On Halloween, do not try any scare tactics on the trick or treaters. If you do, at best the neighborhood watch group will be paying you a call. At worst, Child Protective Services will have your house identified as a possible child abuse location. (I know it seemed funny at the time, but think of the scarred little psyches not to mention the accidents on your front porch.)

7 On Halloween, do not hand out home-made anything. If you do, at best it will all be thrown away. At worst, the local health department will be acting on a complaint and will insist on inspecting your kitchen. (That white glove sure looks bad in the light Bunkie.)

6 On Halloween, do not make the trick or treaters do anything for their treats. If you do, at best you’ll get blank stares. At worst you’ll get a visit from Tiny the WFF champion wrestler who is escorting the kids and he will insist that you dance or else get his special treat. (You don’t want to see Tiny’s knuckle sandwich up close.)

5 On Halloween, do not hand out toothbrushes instead of candy. If you do, at best you will win the “kook of the neighborhood” award. At worst, most of the trick or treaters will be polite but Tiny’s kid will insist on a candy treat while sitting on your chest. (It is funny what is passed in the gene pool isn’t it?)

4 On Halloween, if you insist on wearing a costume, do not make the trick or treaters guess what or who you are. If you do, at best they will not have a clue. At worst, they will all guess wrong and you will suddenly realize you have a screw loose for even trying in the first place. (Funny how some things go out of style quickly. It is surprising that the five-year olds couldn’t get your Tele Tubby costume. (Your favorite show as a kid right?)

3 On Halloween, do not attempt to pass out shots of alcohol to the parents of trick or treaters. If you do, at best you will be very popular until the wee hours of the morning. At worst, your neighbors will assume you have some kind of problem and will ask the police to make sure no kids get your handout. (That sure took a nasty turn, didn’t it Beauford?)

2 On Halloween, do not leave a bowl of treats on the porch with a note to “take one on the honor system.” If you do, at best the treats will be gone before sundown. At worst, the trick or treaters will ring your bell every three seconds in pursuit of a refill. (You quickly learned that “honor” in your neighborhood means “me first.”)

1 On Halloween, do not watch Nightmare on Elm Street, Psycho, Friday the Thirteenth, Amityville Horror, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, or any other horror movie. If you do, at best you will need the day off tomorrow. At worst, the EMS crew will find it mildly amusing that you were in charge of your own heart attack. (You could have just read a book Bevis. At the scary part you could have put it down.)

Views of the Neighborhood

October 30, 2016October 30, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 48 Comments

Now that we are close to Halloween, I want to bring you in on a contest that has been running for the month of October. Tracy Davis Shaw, the owner of Sirena Outfitters here in Port Aransas, came up with an idea to have a Scarecrow contest. A number of merchants and town’s people joined in. I do not have the room to show you all the entries but have picked some of the cleverest.

Here is the poster

scarecrow

Here are some the entries. If you click on the Sirena Outfitters link, you can see more.

Scarcrow contest

scarecrow contest beach-crow

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “in/out”

October 29, 2016October 28, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

SOCS

Today is Saturday and time for another stream of consciousness. Today’s prompt is “in/out.” If you would like to figure this whole thing out, please go to Linda Hill’s site and read all about it. Here is the link.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Oct. 29/16

In/Out by John W. Howell © 2106

“How you been?”

“Good and you?”

“Wait I’m not the one who has been in and out of the hospital.”

“No. I’m the one.”

“So how do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been in and out of a nightmare.”

“What was the problem anyway?”

“Not sure. I think it had to do with insurance.”

“I don’t mean about the nightmare. I’m talking about you.”

“What about me?”

“If you hadn’t just gotten out of the hospital I think I would like to be the one to put you in. Let me make it easy. Did you have an accident?”

“No.”

“You want to input more meat on that bone outside of the word ‘no'”?”

“No broken bones. The x-ray in the hospital ruled out broken bones.”

“In fact, are you trying to make me crazy without trying?”

“In my opinion, that train pulled out a long time ago.”

“Can you at least tell me why you were in the hospital?”

“The supermarket was all out of doctors.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m out of here.”

“Without any information?”

“While I still have my sanity which around you is an in and out thing.”

“I love In and Out Burgers. Want one?”

“I would love one, but they aren’t in this state.”

“That’s an outrageous state to be in.”

“Let me go. Please. Without a doubt, I’m in the process of losing my grip.”

Friday – JohnKu – AKA TGIF

October 28, 2016October 27, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

Funny Friday

The work week is drawing to a close. I don’t know about you but this week seemed pretty calm all things considered. Maybe it was the lack of debate drama but things were at a reasonable pace.

I finally got into some serious editing of my next book titled Circumstances of Childhood. It is a story about Greg Petros who becomes a successful professional football player and then a wealthy equity fund manager. His life is picture-perfect with two kids and a loving wife until a routine audit of the fund discovers twenty million dollars is missing.

The forensic accounting investigation confirms that the missing funds were transferred out using Greg’s computer. After an extensive search on his own, Greg discovers who took the money and why. For circumstances relating to his childhood, he cannot tell the police what he knows but must take matters into his own hands. He now must eliminate the threat to his family and recover the stolen funds while keeping the truth from the authorities.

Today’s JohnKu talks to having the time to do things you enjoy like editing.

Swirling around us,

Life takes on tornado traits . . .

Enjoy peaceful days.

Thursday – A Little Personal – Peggy Update

October 27, 2016October 26, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 46 Comments

It has been a while since I gave you an update on Peggy the Heron. First of all here is a photo of Peggy taken by my wife in our backyard.

peggy

She is happy and healthy. Here is another taken on a walk on Monday morning. The sunrise made everything a golden color. As you can see, Peggy is up to her old trick of getting fish from those, who are fishing. I saw that she was given several pieces, so it did pay off.

Peggy