This list is a result of the last Saturdays Home Owner Association Annual meeting held in our community.
Ten Things Not to do While Attending a Home Owners Association Annual Meeting
10 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not challenge everyone who disagrees with your point to go outside and settle things. If you do, At best you will come off as a crackpot. At worst several of the bigger neighbors may take you up on your offer leading to a hurried trip to the ER.
9 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not tell a long-winded speaker to sit down and shut up. If you do, at best you will appear to be a bully. At worst the speaker may be a black belt Karate champ who will show you how he breaks cement blocks using only a head. (Yours)
8 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not ask questions just to show how smart you are about the covenants. If you do at best, your neighbors will make a note to avoid you at all costs. At worse, you may be appointed as the rule cop for the neighborhood that will endear you to everyone to whom you point out errors (not to mention the egg on your windows)
7 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not try to convince everyone your idea is the next best thing to whipped bread. If you do, at best you will delay while contributing to the boredom of the meeting. At worst, someone in the crowd will yell at you to shut up and sit down which will expose them to the remedies in item nine, and they will be waiting outside to settle the deal.
6 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not bring your Italian sub sandwich to eat during the meeting. If you do, at best everyone will move away from you. At worst, the biggest guy in the room will invite you to join the sandwich that is now in the garbage can outside.
5 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not get up and ask for donations for your book’s marketing fund. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you have lost your mind. At worst, they will discover you are an author and will warn their family members to stay away from you especially if they see you carrying books.
4 If you are attending an HOA meeting, try to find a babysitter for the kids. If you can’t at best, you will be distracted and lose sight of what is being voted. At worst your kids will see a bunch of new people and ask some potentially embarrassing questions like “why is that man wearing hair on his head that doesn’t fit?”
3 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not try to pretend you haven’t forgotten a few names. If you do, at best your charade will be transparent, and some will believe you to be shallow. At worst, you will run out of introductory statements like “Hi there.” You’ll be forced to admit you’ve forgotten the name of your next door neighbor. He is the man who was kind enough to run out in the rain to help you catch your dog with a loss of creditability that an honest admission would save.
2 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not be the first to “second” every motion. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you have no friends. At worst you may be seconding things that will cause frictions among the neighbors, and you will be seen as in favor no matter that you didn’t even hear the motion.
1 If you are attending an HOA meeting and the President is reading the agenda, do not sigh and mumble “another long boring meeting.” If you do, at best you are quickly losing a friend in the President. At worst, your outspoken comment may be shared by others but because you said it you will be the one who the neighbors will talk about tomorrow beginning with the words, “can you believe how rude he was?”
Fiction Favorites 
So glad I never had to attend one of these. Sounds boring and so many rules to avoid getting tossed into the street.
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True enough. Ours serves pizza so the turnout is pretty good.
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Hmmm. Might have to sit in and see what they’re about then. Research reasons entirely.
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Another fantastic job, John Howell!! That was FUNNY!!
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Glad you liked it uber fan
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I’m guessing you wrote these down while observing others performing all of them
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Well….
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Great list, John! We have a neighborhood association which is different from HOA in that it’s 100% voluntary. The upside is they will encourage people to keep their homes and yards tidy (usually by giving out monthly awards). The downside is the meetings are still boring 😉
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Ours is very strict. I like the results. The meetings not so much.
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[…] The Top Ten Things Not to do at Your Annual Home Owner’s Association Meeting. […]
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Thank you Marie for the nice re-blog.
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My solution, don’t attend HOA meetings, although you do make them sound quite fun, John. I loved #9. 🙂
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We actually had a member tell another to sit down and shut up one year. It was the funniest.
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Those meeting can get out of control.
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The food fight was fun.
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I’ve never had occasion to attend and HOA meeting because they don’t allow non-members. 😀 😀 😀 I’ve heard what a headache they can be though.
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Aw that sounds unfair.
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😀 😀 😀 I don’t like too many rules.
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One of my friends ended up on her HOA board. The first change they made was telling residents they couldn’t bring a problem to the board without first discussing it with the offending neighbor………..They had almost no problems all year long!
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oooo I like that. Most are too cowardly to mention infractions.
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Who knew an HOA meeting could result in a fun blog post? 😀
Would not trade places with you for that… Hugs!
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Thank you. You must know by know oatmeal could produce a fun post. (ten things not to do with your oatmeal)
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Bwahahahaha! 😈
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What are those ten things?
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Have to wait until I invent them.
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We have one of those things like Marie has, purely voluntary. The only reason we joined was to key a key to the boat ramp on the lake. *sigh*. We never attend meetings though.
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Ours does good work.
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I agree with Jill. Those HOA meetings are filled with landmines, and the worst part–everyone knows where you live. 😉
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So true
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LOL John! 😆
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I’ve never been to one but if I do in the future, I’ll deep your points in mind for sure. 🙂
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Thank you Dale.
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Agreed. Keep your mouth shut or do everything. Indeed. 🙂 I learned my lesson.
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We don’t have HOA in Australia, at least where I live. I think the bigger apartment blocks may have something like that.
I enjoyed the list John and thanks for the follow.
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My pleasure
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LOL! Totally enjoyed this and am passing the link on to our HOA board.
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